I can’t believe I have to cover this again, but as a public service announcement: do not run from the police! You’ll always get caught! Even if you’re an NFL cornerback!
Cleveland Browns DB Kenny Wright was busted for possession of the “hippie lettuce” in Pearland, Texas last night. Reportedly, as authorities were walking him through the police station parking lot, Wright just took off! And was horse collared about a quarter of a mile later. Kenny…you’re a sub 4.5 NFL’er! You’re not supposed to get run down from behind by the 5-0 400 yards later! How are you going to play press coverage on “Ocho Cinco” or Santonio Holmes if you can’t even leave some Pearland badges in the dust! Besides, as any good DB should know…when you get a chance to score, get to the sideline and ride it into the end zone! Turn on the jets, jump a fence, break someone’s ankles, something. Either this “cat” was so baked he just couldn’t pick ‘em up and put ‘em down or Pearland’s finest are the fastest cops in the country. But, judging from this mug shot, it looks like Kenny may have burned more than the 1.8 ounces of “endo” they found in his sled.
Look, I really don’t know how the mug shot process works, but I think you’re required to at least have your eyes open when they snap your “pic”. My god, Kenny, Nick Nolte thinks you look guilty! And with this story; Pearland Texas is now known for three things: Richard Machowicz, the host of the Discovery Channel’s “Future Weapons” program and still the “hardest guy” I know; Bodie, who broke out his riff about my call screener, Jason Stewart on my radio show; and now, Kenny Wright has put Pearland, Texas on the map once again! Pearland, Texas, the center of the freaking universe!
