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Browns Gonna Brown

How do you force 6 turnovers and still only score 21 points and end in a tie?

September 10, 2018 - 10:23 am
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Cleveland, how are you feeling this morning? You know what, don’t answer that. I already know. And I can sum it up in three letters: BGB.

Browns gonna Brown. 

I’m not even going to bother coming in here and trying to hype you up… I’m not going to bother telling you that being 0-0-1 is your best start since 2004. Yes, that’s right. Opening the season with a tie is your best start to a season in nearly a decade and a half.

But I’m not going glass half full here. I’m not going to go with the old “well, the good news is you didn’t lose.” I’m not going to focus on the fact that Myles Garrett had a monstrous game. Or that Denzel Ward had one hell of a debut with two picks. 

I’m not going to try to make you feel better, because you know the truth. I’m not going to sugar coat it. I’m not going to tell you that a tie is almost like a win and it’s better than a loss, because that felt like a loss. 

You know that you should have been 1-0-0, not 0-0-1. And that there are plenty of reasons why you should be 1-0-0 and only one reason why you’re 0-0-1 and that’s because of BGB.

BGB is the most powerful force on the planet. It changes everything.  

But for a moment, it looked like the Browns might have changed BGB. Down 21-7 in the fourth quarter, they forced a fumble and then scored to make it 21-14. The defense came up big again and forced a punt, which set the stage for this.

Josh Gordon, if you need him. I’m not sure what’s better – the throw from Tyrod Taylor or the catch from Josh Gordon. That was a monstrous catch to tie the game at 21 with less than two minutes to go.

It went to overtime and looked for sure like it was headed for a tie, then Joe Schobert went all Joe Schobert.

And Joe Schobert went Joe Schobert all the way down to the Pittsburgh 12. Holy freaking crap. This is about to happen. Did you see the stands? Browns fans were going nuts. Dancing, celebrating, high-fiving and hugging strangers. Tears of joy were mixing with the rain drops. It was a thing of beauty. 

Cleveland was partying like they’d just won an NBA title. Or an NFL game.

And then came the penalty. Myles Garrett flagged for an illegal block on the return that took the ball back to the Steelers 24. BGB. Totally unnecessary.

But, all they need to do is hit this field goal and it’s over. Hit this field goal and they win the season opener. They’d have beaten a Super Bowl contender. They’d be in first place in the division. And suddenly, they’re looking really, really good. All they have to do is hit this field goal.

Roll it.

Blocked. 

B FREAKING G FREAKING B

Browns gonna freaking brown.

All they had to do was kick a field goal. And yes, I know the coaching staff had a bunch of mistakes. Like starting Josh Gordon when they didn’t mean to. But somehow someone called a formation group that included Gordon and he started. And I know the team committed a bunch of penalties and had a general lack of awareness that doesn’t reflect well on the coaches. And the coaches need to wear that. 

And if this was any team other than Cleveland, I’d put it squarely on the coaches. Because that was one hell of a messy performance. How do you force 6 turnovers and still only score 21 points and end in a tie? There’s only one answer: BGB. Browns gonna brown.