Dante Fowler Jr.

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D Fowler Junior's Presser

This guy is the best.

August 06, 2018 - 5:15 pm
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Jacksonville has a ton of juice right now. I can’t go a couple of days without shouting DUUUUUVVVVVALLLL. Or doing a take on the Jags, which is incredible because this time last year, it was unheard of to talk about the Jags on national sports radio, and only one person was brave enough to do it. And that person was me. 

Who can forget when I led a show last summer with a take on the Jags and everyone thought I was crazy. And then I did it again two days later. Two Jags takes in three days nearly broke the internet. And then I did three in five days and many people thought the world would never be the same. And then I did four in seven days and the Jags nearly went to the Super Bowl. It was a CRAZY ride for all of us.

And I don’t bring that up to remind you that I was on the cutting edge when it came to the Jags. I bring it up because I want to remind you of what life was like for the Jags just one year ago. They were coming off a 3-win season and one of the biggest stories of their offseason was Dante Fowler Jr. 

You’ll recall that Mr. Fowler was arrested last summer for battery, mischief, and petty theft. And the story went that he was driving in the parking lot of an apartment complex, when another man complained about Fowler’s driving. Somehow it escalated from there because Fowler punched the man, allegedly. That’s not good. Not good at all. But that was just the appetizer.

Here comes the main course, because Fowler took the man’s glasses and… stomped on them. An incredible move. And it wasn’t even his best. I mean, how do you top a glasses stomp?

Simple: according to the report, Fowler then “took the victim’s grocery bag, with recently purchased liquor, and threw it in a lake.” 

A truly legendary piece of road rage. Punch to glasses stomp to chucking the groceries into the lake. 

The league announced that Fowler would be suspended for one game this season after he pleaded no contest to the charges. 

Fowler met with the media yesterday and of course the glasses-groceries-lake incident came up and he was asked if he feels good about the personal progress he’s made in the past year. And Fowler’s response: “Did I go to jail?”

Outstanding. What an incredible response. I always say never answer a question with a question, but in this case, it’s the best possible way to answer that question is with a question. Do you feel good about the personal progress you’ve made in the past year? Did I go to jail?

Boom! Have some.

But it gets better. Because when the reporters confirmed that no, he did not go to jail, Fowler responded “There you go.”

Bam! Mic drop. Jump out the Jacksonville pool on that one, D.

Did I go to jail? No. There you go. 

Roasted! That’s on you, reporters. You just got your groceries thrown in the lake by D Fowler Junior. He just clowned you so hard. 

Annual review complete. Give this man a raise. In fact, that’s my piece of advice to you. The next time you’re having a review with your boss and you get asked about how you did in the past year, just ask: Did I go to jail? And when the answer is no, follow it up with “there you go.”

Did I go to jail? Didn’t think so. Next time ask a better question. I mean, I’m not going to say that the bar is kind of low when you’re hyping yourself for not going to jail in the past year, but that bar is so low, everyone’s tripping over it.  

This guy is the best. Just when you thought he couldn’t get better after that bout of insanity over bad driving, he takes it up another notch by dunking on everyone’s head for asking about personal improvement. My guy is a one-man Tony Robbins seminar. He’s Napoleon Hill 2.0.

Did I go to jail? No. There you go.

Jacksonville has a great look at a ring this year, but Dante Fowler Jr’s already got the belt for the best presser. And if you try to rip it from him, he’ll rip off your glasses and chuck your food in a lake.