Brian Hoyer

USA Today

Hoyer The Freakin Destroyer

New England's secret weapon.

February 12, 2019 - 12:30 pm
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Just when it looked like we were done crowning heroes for the Patriots sixth Super Bowl ring, we found one more. And he was hiding behind a freaking clip board. 

Brian Hoyer is the latest Patriot to get his moment in the sun. Hoyer the Destroyer is getting some crazy run for the work he did leading up to Super Bowl 53. 

Not for the look he was giving the D on the scout team. Or for making sure Tom and Alex had plenty of room for the massage table and smoothie station in the QB room. But for being the dude who cracked the code on Sean McVay's offense. 

Albert Breer at the MMQB has an absolutely amazing story up right now. And during a sit-down session with the McCourty twins, the brothers revealed how it was actually Hoyer the Destroyer who managed to go all "Imitation Game" on the Rams offense.  

And he did it BY STREAMING A CRAP LOAD OF TV. 

Let me read you a quick paragraph: "Before the Super Bowl, Hoyer watched an episode of Peyton Manning’s Detail series on ESPN-Plus on Goff, and it hit him right away—the offense is the same. Looking at the Rams tape confirmed it. Then, he saw an NFL Network interview where Goff and McVay discussed the coach being in the quarterback’s ear up until the 15-second play-clock cutoff, which was something Shanahan did with Hoyer. Then, Hoyer went back to Amazon’s All or Nothing series on the Rams; it was about the 2016 season but had footage of OTA’s from McVay’s first spring there. Hoyer recognized the language.

So to recap, Hoyer started by streaming some ESPN-Plus. Then he flipped over to find an NFL Network interview, probably on YouTube. Then he hit that little button on the remote that gets you to your Amazon streaming account -- and managed to actually FIND A SHOW that he was looking for. 

And then after going into the archives of all or nothing, and cross-referencing it with ESPN-plus and an NFL Network interview, he actually brought his findings to The Hood. 

I can't decide if this dude is a crazy genius or just crazy. Probably both. 

You've got the greatest tactical coach in the history of football, and a total red ass, working with Brian Flores to put together a game plan. They probably haven't slept in two weeks. And then the back-up quarterback strolls in to run you a clip show from all the streaming TV he's been watching -- ERR, WORK HE'S BEEN DOING -- to get ready for the Super Bowl. I can only imagine how that went. 

Hey Coach, I want you to check out what Peyton was doing on Detail. But first, let me show you this awesome single-leg takedown from the College Wrestling tournament I was watching. 

Look, I know that any time somebody says The Patriot Way, most people look for a garbage can to puke into. But the Patriot Way is incredible. This is a QB2 whose only job is to make sure NOBODY BRINGS A STRAWBERRY WITHIN 50 FEET OF THE QB 1. , and he's out there going deep into the streaming TV archives looking for cheat codes on Sean McVay's offense. And even crazier, HE FINDS THEM.  

This dude threw 2 passes all season. He wore a baseball hat 99% of the time. He's the one guy of the 46 Patriots that suited up for the Super Bowl who didn't see the field. But he's also the guy who found a tell in the Rams’ offense, because he apparently pays for every streaming service on the planet. Yo Bry, make sure the Pats reimburse you for that 4.99 a month for ESPN+. 

I know everybody killed The Hood for what he got back for Jimmy Garoppolo. And no, that 2nd rounder still wasn't enough. But that secret handshake between the Niners and Patriots that shipped Hoyer back to New England sure looks pretty important now. Especially when Hoyer the Destroyer is busting up the Rams offense after an all-nighter working the remote like some baked out frat guy getting ready for his fantasy draft. 

Because you know that Jimmy G isn't spending his nights watching ESPN+ and Amazon... He's more of a Netflix and Chill guy.