Show Recap - Tuesday July 27, 2010

If "Softball Guy" is peaking for a quarter-final beer league game in front of a crowd of 12, then what happens when some of the World’s finest Softball Guys hook up on national television for a border war? Balls get mashed. That’s what. Tell me you caught the long drive competition that was the U.S. v Canada over the weekend. Now that’s what I’m saying. That’s not your standard softball guy. You know, angry young guy, with the $500 bat, in full gear and eye black, who plays the game the right way and would be in the bigs right now if his high school coach didn’t hate him. I’m not talking about tools like that. I’m talking about a legend like this! That’s big, bad, Rusty Bumgardner if you need him. Look at this monster; 6-6, 285 and no matter how you pitch him, it’s going to end like this! You usually get two meals and a movie on a flight like that! Check it out! Over the scoreboard and out past the Caterpillar onto a construction site. How is this... More »

Smoke dope, poach coach like Lane Kiffin. If ever Kiffin needed Lil Wayne to name drop him, it’s right now. But you know that’s not happening. I don’t think Wayne is cool with Lane stealing someone else’s coach. I know Jeff Fisher and the Titans aren’t, otherwise they wouldn’t be suing USC and Kiffin really, Titans? I’m no lawyer, but can you really sue someone for that. On what grounds? Being greasy?

Photos: Lane's Storied Coaching Career

Lane, I don’t think getting sued is what your new boss Pat Haden meant when he asked for absolute compliance. My man, how are you going to see this program through this period if everywhere you go someone accuses you of ripping a recruit, poaching a coach, quitting, or lying. Not only is the good humor man not crazy, he looks downright prophetic. If you want to hire a guy, call his boss and ask permission. How hard is that? Now... More »

Not surprisingly, Cowboys coach Wade Phillips went out of his way to insist, Dez Bryant’s refusal to carry Roy Williams’ pads is not a problem: “It’s a non-issue. Not a problem with either of them or our football team… we don’t haze. That’s it.” Ehhhh! The reason you had to spend ten minutes answering that question yesterday is because you do haze. And because a Rook telling a Vet to carry his own pads is an issue. And while you may have told your guys behind closed doors not to rip Bryant’s amex or hit him with some icy hot, you know there will be some sort of locker room justice; someone will order the code red.

Photos: Dez Bryant's College Career

And enough of the argument that Roy Williams is a bust doesn’t make plays and if anything, he should be carrying Bryant’s pads. Wrong again. Williams may be overpaid and underachieving but I don’t care... More »

Wade Phillips had to be like, man, give it a rest! Doesn’t anyone want to ask me about Martellus Bennett going full frontal online? That’s right; if someone sends you an email with Bennett in the subject header and there’s a link… don’t click on it. It could get you fired. Maybe he was just jumping on the grenade for Bryant to take some of the edge off. But more likely, he got on the wrong side of an ex who was looking to jam him. It’s not like I haven’t covered this before but apparently I have to do it again. If you don’t want naked pictures of you showing up on line, stop taking and sending them to your lady. Especially if you’re an athlete. And you plan on cheating on her. Or your lady is crazy. Or both. Because while those relationships never last, the j-pegs are forever, and it’s not a question of if, but a matter of when she’s going to post them. That’s not on her, that’s on you.

Photos: More »

Info & Stats: CBS Sports.com Senior Writer

Ken on if the Heat would have won Game 2 against Chicago without Udonis Haslem’s contribution: “Probably not.”

Topics: Eastern Conference Finals Game 2 | Miami was really impressive in the third quarter | Thinks Miami can switch it into another gear | Miami having a head of steam | Thought the Bulls brought the intensity and effort in Game 2 | LeBron James closing out games | Dwyane Wade showing a willingness to let LeBron close out games | Closer role | Wade and James have worked out the end of game situations | Udonis Haslem | Haslem’s toughness and jump shot | Carlos Boozer being on the bench in the 4th quarter | Boozer wasn’t effective last night | Taj Gibson is athletic | Thinks Miami will win in 7 | Chicago is as well coached as anyone in the league | Dirk Nowitzki | Dirk as a scorer | Dirk’s greatness | Top 10 of all time? | Not really enjoying Dirk enough | Kareem Abdul-Jabbar | Kareem’s statue request |

Info & Stats: Houston Texans Offensive Tackle

Photos: The Tackle As A Pro and College Player

Eric on the 2011 Houston Texans: “Everyone is waiting for us to take a fall, but we’re not built that way.”

Topics: Little sore but feeling pretty good | The last 3 weeks have been tough | Losing Matt Schaub and Matt Leinart | T.J. Yates | Feel real comfortable with T.J. | Their defense | Brett Favre’s name coming up for about one minute | It’s hard to imagine Brett being here | AFC South | Past problems | Everyone is waiting for us to take a fall but were not built that way | Cincinnati Bengals | Cedric Benson | Playing pee wee football with Cedric | Cedric as a person | Tim Tebow | Tebow is as polarizing as it gets | Denver Broncos | His show |