Ruptured Testicle?

February 15, 2018 - 1:12 pm
Devin Powell is a UFC lightweight fighter from South Berwick, Maine with an 8-3 record. So why am I talking about Devin Powell? Because of two words that I never want to talk about: ruptured testicle. Yep, you heard me, ruptured testicle. Powell took to Instagram to post a photo of himself in a hospital bed with an IV drip and two emergency workers at his side, with the following caption: “Thanks to the fine ambulatory services in Wells, Maine, I am checked into the hospital and ready for surgery. Shout out to Joe Lauzon we’ve been practicing knees on the ground and he successfully ruptured my testicle with his sheer power. His opponent has no chance in April ... Now to get the blood clot drained and the goods repaired. I waited a day and a half to be seen.. Word for the wise, if you hurt yourself, go get checked out. Dana White, Sean Shelby, how about a NY UFC fight coming up... This will be quite the comeback story. Share this and help me get the ball rolling on my next Fight and follow my journey... Pun intended” Okay. Okay. That’s enough. Let’s start with the fact that he and one of the emergency workers are giving a thumbs up while he has a ruptured testicle. I hear the phrase “ruptured testicle” and I’m going Siskel and Ebert on that and giving it two thumbs down. Zero stars out of five. “Ruptured” is a horrible word. And it’s even worse when it’s followed by “testicle.” And this guy is not only jumping on social media to talk ruptured testicles, but cracking jokes about it. Like getting the “ball rolling on my next fight” HEYYYY-OOOOOOO. And not just going with testicular one-liners, but giving shoutouts. “Shout out to Joe Lauzon” – what?!!??!? I know being a UFC fighter is a job and it takes a different mentality to carry out that job, but if someone hit me with a knee that ruptured my testicle with its “sheer power” I’m never talking to him again and I’m certainly not giving him a shoutout on Instagram. Big ups to the dude who just mashed my junk. Hashtag Follow Friday the guy who just crushed my grapes. And if “ruptured testicle” isn’t enough to get you squirming, how about the fact that he drops this line: “now to get the blood clot drained and the goods repaired.” Or the fact that he waited a day and a half to get the “goods” checked out. Most guys if something even comes close to the groin, they’re on a fetal position and looking for a doctor. Powell’s walking it off and probably kept on training. And that wasn’t the end of the story. He’s had multiple follow-up posts, including one with a caption that read in part: Fresh out of surgery from a ruptured testicle compliments of a @joelauzon accidental knee (with an emoji of a peanut and a hammer)... But how do you stop when ball is life? I live and die by my @diamondmma cup... But I didn’t wear it this day” and a frowny face emoji. Forget for a moment that he’s dropping not one, not two, but three emoji’s in a post about a ruptured testicle, but did I catch a “ball is life” zinger in there? Powell’s one post away from giving a shoutout out to my man Yogi Roth with a Hashtag How Great is Ball? I have no idea what Powell’s like as a fighter, but the guy can clearly take a punch. And a knee. And keep on going. Forget putting him on the card in New York City, let him headline the whole thing. He’s earned it.