Don’t Ever Change, Steve

February 27, 2018 - 11:50 am
OKC big man, Steven Adams is an absolute beauty. I’d call him a national treasure—but I’m not trying to go to war with New Zealand if I don’t have to. But trust me—I wish we could claim this dude as one of our own. For now, I’ll just call him one of the best imports in the Association. Because he is. Forget that this dude is having a career year in points, rebounds, and field goal percentage. Forget that he’s a perfect glass cleaner for Russ, Melo, and PG. And forget that he got more All-Star votes than Blake Griffin this season. Forget all of that. Because for a good as Steve Adams is on the court—he might be even better off it. This is a dude who just answered, yes, to a tweet from a female fan inviting him to prom—three years after she asked. This is a dude that who told ESPN in a recent interview that a skill he wants to master is thinking. “Thinking is quite hard, to be honest. Just about stuff in general, you know? So I want to master that skill.” And this is a dude who seems to have forgotten that he has an autobiography coming out this summer. Yesterday at practice, OKC beat writer Fred Katz asked him: “Do you have an autobiography coming out?” To which Adams replied: “I don’t know. Is that what you heard?” That’s pretty incredible. One thing to forget your wallet, or an appointment—but entirely another thing to forget you have a book coming out—about yourself—that you wrote. And it wasn’t until Fred Katz name dropped the ghost-writer that this whole autobiography thing came rushing back to Steve Adams. Love it. Except now that he remembers the book—he can’t remember why he wanted to do it. “What inspired you to put together a book?” “I don’t know.” Awesome. But the whole thing crescendos right here when Katz asks him if he’s ever written before. “Have you written before?” “No! I didn’t write it. I got a ghostwriter named Madeline Chapman. I can barely read, mate. I can’t write a book. Jesus.” Self-inflicted illiteracy smack. Absolutely incredible. Good luck ever cracking this dude for not being able to read when he just straight owned that truth to the world. Love this guy. I can barely read, mate. I can’t write a book.  I’m sure the publisher didn’t appreciate that quote like the rest of us did, because at this point how can you call it an autobiography anymore? A book written about someone by someone else is just called a—wait for it now: a biography. That’s right. Seems the ghostwriter here is really just the—wait for it now: the writer. That’s right. So maybe Steve Adams just re-categorized his book on accident. Who cares? I’ll tell you this: There’s not a piece of non-fiction I’m looking forward to more than the Steve Adams story this summer. A seven footer, who can’t read, and already has enough stories for a book at the age of 24? Sign me the hell up for Amazon Prime pre-order! Never change, Steve. I mean—maybe learn how to read and write—but other than that: Don’t ever change.