Aaron Judge

USA Today

2019 Yankees

Which mirrors did they break, which ladders did they run under, which sidewalk cracks did they step on?

April 22, 2019 - 2:36 pm
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The New York Yankees won 100 games last year. They are the most historic franchise in American sports. And they are in the midst of a truly historic injury situation. I’m not sure it’s injuries or if it’s just a plague.

Aaron Judge went on the injured list yesterday with an oblique injury, making him the 13th Yankee to go on the list this season.

Let’s run it all down, because I have never seen anything like it. Giancarlo Stanton (left biceps), Aaron Hicks (back), Gary Sanchez (calf), Miguel Andujar (right shoulder), Greg Bird (left foot), Troy Tulowitzki (left calf), Luis Severino (lat), the list goes on. 

Which mirrors did they break, which ladders did they run under, which sidewalk cracks did they step on? Because they have brought themselves some truly hideous luck and karma.

They haven’t had a few injuries, they’ve had all the injuries. If there’s a body part, the Yankees have had a player who’s injured it.

And they’re just about ready to break out and take it from common muscle ailments to bizarre medical conditions. At this point I’m half expecting to see Ben Heller out with swamp foot and Jordan Montgomery missing time with trench mouth, but actually, they both have Tommy John. So does Didi Gregorious.

But I’m sure we’re only a day or two away from someone coming down with rickets or scurvy. Oh, and Jacoby Ellsbury hasn’t played since 2017 and doesn’t look to be playing any time soon. This is like the worst game of Oregon Trail ever.

And for those of you saying that it’s the Yankees, they can just spend their way out of this. They can’t.

What are you going to do? Buy a whole other team?

With all those injuries, their starting lineup yesterday was:

DJ LeMahieu
Luke Voit
Brett Gardner
Clint Frazier
Mike Kluzinski
Ted Stone
Mike Ford
Austin Romine
Tyler Wade
James Paxton

How anonymous is that crew? So anonymous that I inserted two fake names into that list and you didn’t notice. Seriously, is that the lineup for the major league New York Yankees or the single-A Staten Island Yankees? Did someone slip a Charleston RiverDogs batting order into Aaron Boone’s hand before the game.

That reads like the lineup for a split squad game in spring training, but it was the actual lineup for the actual New York Yankees in an actual game against the Kansas City Royals.

And even more amazing than the fact that those seven guys and the two made up guys were seeing action in a major league game, was the fact that the Yankees won. James Paxton went six shutout innings, the bullpen did its best to blow the game and give the lead back to the Royals. But then Austin Romine did what Austin Romine does. And if you weren’t familiar with what Austin Romine does, that’s okay. He hasn’t had a lot of chances to do much of anything.

But in the bottom of the eighth, down one, he did this.

And then in the bottom of the tenth, with runners on second and third and one out, Austin Romine did even more Austin Romine things.

Incredible. I’m not going to say that’s the greatest win in Yankees history, because it’s not, but that’s one of the most absurd lineups in Yankees history and the fact that they won yesterday is incredible. Normally I’d say that the Yankees being just one game over .500 at this point in the season, after they won triple digits last year, is a terrible start.

But considering who they can play and who they can’t play, that’s damn amazing. And yes, the bullpen could help out everyone by not blowing 5 run leads, but those guys have to be in shock when they look around and see some of the guys who are wearing pinstripes next to them.

The Yankees being one game over .500 with this crew makes the Red Sox being four games under with their group look even worse