Robert Kraft

USA Today

Big Game Bob

The old pre-game solicitation superstition?

February 26, 2019 - 9:52 am
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Bob Kraft was officially charged with two counts of first-degree solicitation of prostitution yesterday. That news broke just as the show was ending yesterday and I started to read the probable affidavit that was released. In the interest of completing the story, I will now read what I can read of it.

But it comes with a warning. The content is graphic in nature. If you have children around you, now would be a good time to turn down the radio or television. Because the following has adult content and words that I honestly thought I would never have to say on the radio. I’m going to say some of this is even NSFW.  Not suitable for work. I’m not even sure I’d say some of this on my podcast. Or my ShowTime show back in the day where and I pretty much everyone else said whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted. 

Alvin, have your finger on the button. Because even though this is a legal document, there might be things that aren’t fit for air. 

What you are about to hear was released by the authorities yesterday and contains a description of what happened on the morning of January 20th. Names have been redacted where necessary. 

Ready? Everyone good? Here it is:

"On Sunday, January 20th, 2019, video surveillance was conducted at the target business. At approximately 1059 hrs., Kraft entered the business through the front door where he paid cash at the front desk to an Asian female, previously identified as [REDACTED] which was captured on JPPD Cam 5. [REDACTED] escorted Kraft to a room identified as JPPD Cam 2. There, the two hugged each other and Kraft took off all of clothing, laid face up on the massage table and [REDACTED] hugged him again. At approximately 1102 hrs. [REDACTED] began manipulating Kraft's penis and testicles and then put her head down by his penis. This went on for several minutes. After a few minutes, [REDACTED] wiped Kraft in the area of his genitals with a white towel, helped him get dressed and hugged him again. Kraft gave [REDACTED] a $100 bill plus at least one other unidentifiable bill. Kraft left the room at approximately 1113 hrs."

There you have it. Are you happy? I never want to hear any of this ever again. In fact, I wish I could unhear it. Just l I wish I could unsee some of the images that have been burned into my brain. So know I won’t be recapping this for you ghouls. I will not be breaking it down line by line. I will not be repeating it. If you missed it, you missed it. Sorry. That was one time and one time only, for me reading it. 

But know this. It allegedly happened. And..  It allegedly wasn’t the only time that Bob was at the spa. As I mentioned yesterday, January 20th was the day of the AFC Championship game, but I’ll get to more on that later. 

What’s important to note is that he didn’t just wake up the morning of the AFC championship game, feel like he needed a massage, hop in his chauffeur driven Bentley, drive roughly half an hour to this scummy strip mall, and just stumble into the Orchids of Asia Day Spa the morning of the AFC title game. I mean, he did do that. 

But he was also there the afternoon before. That’s right. Two visits to that seedy massage parlor in less than 24 hours. That’s two for him!

According to the police, on January 19th, Kraft stayed from 4:45 p.m. Until 5:25 p.m. He paid more than $200 for two women's services.

After he left that evening, police conducted a traffic stop and Kraft allegedly produced his driver’s license confirming his identity. 

So just to recap. Bob allegedly went to a spa the afternoon before the AFC Championship game, then went right back the next morning, the day of the AFC championship game before flying to Kansas City. 

But not only did he go the afternoon before the game, he was stopped by police that afternoon and still went back the next morning.
They pulled him over, no doubt making it seem like a routine traffic stop, he never thought that it might have something to do with the fact that he had just committed an illegal act in a strip mall spa and then he goes right back over the next morning before flying to Kansas City. 

If that’s true, how freaking brazen is that? How stupid is that? 

As I said yesterday, and I’m guessing this applies to a bunch of you, but how many times are you driving 35 in a 35, you see a cop by the side of the road and you slow down to 30. You weren’t breaking the law, you weren’t close, but you immediately change your behavior. 

You turn the radio down. You have your hands at ten and two on the steering wheel. You’re not doing anything illegal. You’re practically shouting “nothing to see, officer!” And you’re still nervous that the cop is going to pull you over for something.

Bob, on the other hand, has just walked out of a day spa, allegedly, where he paid for a sex act, allegedly, gets pulled over by the police, allegedly, gives them his license, allegedly, and thinks nothing of it, allegedly, and goes right back to the same place a few hours later.

And that’s before we get into the fact that he was hitting up Orchids of Asia Day Spa the morning of the AFC Championship game. 

I know it’s always hectic before you fly. You have to check to make sure you’ve packed everything. Phone? Laptop? Identification? Crap, I should stop off to get something to eat so that I can take it on the plane because airline food, am I right?

You know what, I should also hit up this Orchids of Asia Day Spa that’s half an hour up the road, too. Just before I fly to the game.

You know, the old pre-flight routine. Stop off, get some snacks. Maybe pick up some gum. And most importantly, patronize a location that is allegedly involved in forced labor and forced sexual conduct.

The AFC Title Game, Bob? The old pre-game solicitation superstition? I know that some players vomit before games, I didn’t know that some owners like to solicit a prostitute before a big game. Some fans have a lucky jersey, Bob has a lucky prostitute.

Let’s really put this into context. Not that there is ever a GOOD time to solicit a prostitute, but….check this. I know the Patriots are Super Bowl champions, but they were alleged underdogs going into that game. They were going to Kansas City to face Patrick Mahomes. The Patriots dynasty could have been on the ropes at that point. If Kansas City wins that game, with the young talent they have, they might just take over the conference. 

This was no sure thing. If there was ever a game to be focused on, it was that one. But Bob was focused on something else. 

That was, to that point, the biggest game of the year and he’s thinking about going to a day spa where “[REDACTED] began manipulating Kraft's penis and testicles.” ​

Then he’s done, gets back in his car, and presumably heads straight for the airport so that he can be in KC in time for kickoff. And then the Patriots win in overtime, and you’re off to the Super Bowl. 

So to recap those 24 hours for Bob: go to spa, allegedly pay for a sex act, allegedly get pulled over by police, go to sleep, wake up, go to spa, allegedly pay for another sex act, fly to Kansas City, see team win one of the most electric games in a long time and clinch a trip to the Super Bowl. Incredible. And no, I have no idea why a billionaire is going a half hour of his way to some scummy massage parlor to pay for sex, or if he knew there were sex workers there being held against their will. I have no idea why a guy in his position would do something like that…much less do it twice in 24 hours and on the most important weekend of the season. But I have a thought or two on that that I will get to a little later on.