Brock Holt

USA Today

Brock Holt vs. Taco Bell

I'm not picking a side. I'm just enjoying battle.

October 25, 2018 - 10:43 am

One word you’ve heard a thousand times already and will hear a thousand times more before the World Series is over—is “matchups.” Because now more than ever baseball is played less between the lines and more between the margins. That’s the game in 2018. Guys play three different positions. Outfielders pull out cheat sheets from their back pocket to know where to shift to for every hitter. And skippers have multiple lineups for every kind of pitcher they’re gonna face. There’s never been more information readily available and there’s never been more teams putting that information into action.

But of the all matchups to watch for in this series—probably none more interesting and fierce than matchup between Red Sox second baseman Brock Holt and the American drive-thru staple, Taco Bell. 

Yes, this is a real thing. And yes, it’s gotten ugly. And messy.

If you watched Game 1 Tuesday night than you probably know Taco Bell was running a promotion called, “Steal a Bag, Steal a Taco.” And it’s exactly what it’s advertised to be. If any player from either team swipes a bag in the World Series—then Taco Bell is on the hook for one free taco to anyone who hits up the chain November 1st. I’m sure T-Bell was probably looking for some more mileage from this promotion—but Mookie Betts ended it pretty quick when he stole second base two batters into Game 1. 

Turns out, Mookie, it’s not for everybody. Namely your teammate Brock Holt who became a legend when he hit for the first ever postseason cycle in baseball history—and then became public enemy number one when he dropped a nuke on the Bell saying: “I haven’t eaten Taco Bell in probably 10 years. I’ll probably stay away from the free taco. I’ll let everyone else get it… I’m going to stay away from Taco Bell. You’ll end up on the toilet all night.”

I think I speak for most Americans when I say: So? What’s your point Brock?

But seriously that’s an absolutely unbelievable quote for so many reasons. The first being the fact that Taco Bell is a major sponsor of the World Series and Brock Holt is out here just blowing them up for blowing him up. Obviously this guy is speaking from personal experience. And obviously he wasn’t too happy with the Bell if he can recall what happened to him after crushing it 10 years ago. How bad must that guy’s night have been 10 years ago if it’s still fresh enough on his mind to bring it up a decade after the blowout?

My guess is Taco Bell didn’t scratch a check to MLB thinking the run they were gonna get for this promotion would be for someone getting the runs. And that’s not a baseball pun. That’s a diarrhea pun. Just so we’re clear. Not my take, its Brock Holt’s take. 

Obviously Brock’s take on Taco Bell made the rounds and he was asked about it before Game 2 yesterday. And my man isn’t coming off or backing down from what he said.

In other words: Sorry, not sorry.  My man’s like: Sorry for not giving your laxative taco another try, T-Bell.

Probably pretty smart to be off of Twitter right now, Brock. Because the Bell is a pretty damn beloved spot in this country. And it rakes in 2 billion a year on those tacos they're slinging out of the back window of their 7,000 worldwide locations. 

I don't have a dog in this fight. Because I'm all about the Bell and the fact you can order 20 items and get change on a 10 dollar bill. So you won't catch me going in on them like Brock.

But I'm also all about takes and not backing down from takes. If you're gonna say Taco Bell put you on the porcelain all night 10 years ago--then you can't walk that back the next day. And he didn't. And I respect that. 

Like I said--this a matchup to watch for. Brock Holt vs. Taco Bell. America vs. Their toilets. Free food vs. Bubble guts.  

I'm not picking a side. I'm just enjoying battle. 

Free takes. Free tacos. 

Win. Win.