Brock Osweiler

USA Today


The month of Brock.

October 18, 2018 - 12:08 pm

Yesterday, Dolphins coach Adam Gase officially ruled Ryan Tannehill out for Sunday's Week 7 home game against the Lions. Which means one thing:  and one thing only.  The best thing: best thing being… THE BROCK LOBSTER IS BACK.

Hell, let's just call this what it is: BROCKTOBER. The month of Brock. And I’ll be straight, I don't want it to end. Ever. And it might not. Because here's the QB situation in Miami, straight from the mouth of Adam Gase, who dropped this gem when asked about Tannehill: 

"We’re taking it really day-to-day, and every week, hopefully we’ll see progress. We’re working on everything and anything with pocket movements, footwork, things like that. He can do everything. He just can’t throw.”

Let me repeat that last part: "He can do everything. He just can't throw." Last I checked, throwing was a requirement at the quarterback position. 

Which just means that EVERYTHING IS COMING UP GOLD for the Big Crustacean. 

Remember where this dude was a year ago? Cut loose by the Browns, who had a quarterback depth chart of Desean Kizer, Kevin Hogan and Cody Kessler. Shipped to Denver to be the back-up, back-up plan behind Trevor Siemian and Paxton Lynch. And dude was so happy just to be thrown a bone he called it a TOP THREE DAY IN HIS LIFE: "It's hard to describe in words, but being back here today, practicing as a Bronco, being here at Dove Valley, probably top five, if not three, day of my life. Today has been incredible."

Now he's QB1 in South Beach. He's the starting quarterback for a 4-2 team that's tied for the second-best record in the AFC. And he's coming off a game where he lit it the hell up -- A career-high 380 yards in an overtime win against the Bears. 

How good is this dude feeling? Just ask him. 

Historically, I think we know that answer to how Brock bounces back. Historically, the Lobster bounces back from throwing an interception by... Throwing another interception. But this dude was just getting started yesterday. Because while the rest of the NFL was surprised that Brock Osweiler was out there shredding a Bears defense that was being compared to Buddy Ryan's outfit from 1985, Brock wasn't. Just ask him: “I would say that none it is surprises me. I think, first and foremost as an athlete — and no offense to anyone in this room — but we need to put on earmuffs if you will and drown out all the outside noise. The only thing that matters is your belief in yourself and the belief that your teammates and coaches have in you. Other than that, nothing really matters. Throughout my entire career, I’ve always believed in who I was as a quarterback, as a person, as a leader. None of this takes me by surprise."

A couple things here. First, here's how you know Brock Osweiler is one of a kind. He might have been the first person to ever say, "No offense to anybody in this room," and then say something that offends absolutely nobody in this room. 

Brock, if you're using that term, it's a free pass to say something offensive. You just said the word Earmuffs, and then muttered some cliché about drowning out all the outside noise. Nobody is going to take offense to that. They're just looking at you with amazement because you're up there holding court when at best you should be holding a clipboard. 

Look, I don't just want Brocktober. I want Brockvember. And then Brockcember. And if we're lucky enough, Brockuary. Because the NFL is better with the Brock Lobster front and center. We got a taste last Sunday. We're getting a refill this weekend. And whether he's lighting it up or lighting himself on fire, I am all in. I never want to see anyone get hurt. Ever. Period. I want to be very clear about that. Ever. But if someone has to get hurt it may as well be Tannehill, because if Tannehill going down means the lobster is going in, then, well, hell injuries are just a part of the game, right???