Scott Boras

USA Today

Can You Hear Me Now?

The biggest question being asked at the Winter Meetings isn't Where's Bryce Going?

December 13, 2018 - 12:30 pm

Baseball's Winter Meetings are wrapping up right now in Las Vegas and if you're a Seamhead who loves the Hot Stove, it doesn't get any better than this. 

And while I'm gonna get to the sweepstakes for Bryce Harper and Manny Machado in a second, I already have my favorite signing of the offseason: Joe Kelly coming home to the Dodgers. 

The Pride of Corona. The King of Riverside. The World Series champ is now the new blowtorch coming out of the pen in Chavez Ravine. 

The Dodgers had their sit-down with Kelly last week and reportedly Andrew Friedman blew Kelly away with the team's plan for how they were gonna use him. And now Kelly's packing his bags and coming back home to spend the next three seasons rattling cages in the NL West. 

You talk about a huge move for the two-time defending champs of the Senior Circuit. Kelly is an absolute stopper who can bridge the gap between the starting rotation and Kenley Jansen. I freaking love this move. 

And here's what else I love. That the biggest get-together of baseball's offseason is being dominated by five simple words: 


That's right. The biggest question being asked at the Winter Meetings isn't Where's Bryce Going? Or Is Manny signing with the Yankees. It's CAN YOU FREAKING HEAR ME BECAUSE MY CELL PHONE ISN'T GETTING ANY RECEPTION. 

A report from Sports Illustrated has just about every GM sweating it on the top floors of the Delano because there's terrible cell phone reception. Angels GM Billy Eppler told SI: "I’ve got one bar right now." Padres GM AJ Preller was ready to chuck his 8-year-old war horse out the window calling it a "Piece of Junk Phone" as he describing the hunt for free agents -- and reception -- like this: “I’m peeled on the window, then out in the hallway, trying to find a place that works. It’s been a little bit of everywhere. There are times you’re on the window and you’re like, This is the spot! And then that goes out.”

Everybody knows the living hell of hunting for service when you're trying to make an important work call. But trying to swing a 350 million dollar deal for a guy like Bryce Harper while you're waiting for the front desk to patch you through to Scott Boras's room seems a little extreme. 

The freaking New York Yankees are reportedly making their phone calls using FACETIME AUDIO. Teams are conducting legitimate biz on What's App. Can you imagine trying to swing a trade via Facebook? UH - Why is Theo Epstein POKING ME? 

I can't wait for the first free agent signing that goes down over Skype. Or the news breaking that Joe Kelly is coming to Los Angeles via Myspace. 

Look, business at the winter meetings HAS been slower than usual. Maybe that’s because people are waiting to see where Machado and Harper go. And maybe it's because they need to refill their Prodigy subscription.  

So while Scott Boras was holding court in the lobby for 56 straight minutes telling everybody who'd listen that Bryce could sign ANY SECOND, the teams ready to throw ONE-THIRD OF A BILLION DOLLARS at his client can't even get a freaking call through. 

I'd tell MLB to stay hot. But they're probably still waiting for their AOL to dial up.