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Laker myopia is running rampant.

June 28, 2019 - 9:35 am
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What a day yesterday was for the Los Angeles Lakers… and even more so for Laker FANS. Be real, Laker Fan. After yesterday, how many of you are even at work today?  Any of you? Or are you just driving up and down the 505 and back and forth on the 10 flying those Laker car flags?

Let’s start with the news that LA traded Mo Wagner, Isaac Bonga, and Jemerrio Jones plus a second round pick in 2022 to the Washington Wizards. Let’s get into the nitty-gritty on this. Let’s break down this trade from all sides. EHHHH – wrong. Let’s not do that. 

Because nobody gives a damn, what that deal means for the Wizards and how they’re either rebuilding or repairing on the fly. That’s a trade of three guys who haven’t made a mark on the league or even had the chance to make a mark on the league. So why am I leading the show with it? Because it’s about what the Lakers got back.

In return for those three players, LA got back the most important thing of all to them:  Cap Space. Sorry, let me go full government on that: Salary Cap Space.

Washington also sent some money to New Orleans, effectively making the Anthony Davis trade with New Orleans into a three-team deal.

And you know Laker fans were partying their brains out over cap room. Hell Yes! I half expected Laker fan to go old school and start burning stuff. 

I’m shocked they didn’t have a parade where Mad Dog losing his mind on stage: because this is huge. How huge?! Twitter dope magic Johnson probably broke both thumbs, knocking this one out:

Wow wow WOW what a trade and big move by Jeanie and Rob to clear $32M in cap space! This move puts the Lakers in play for all of the free agents. I can't wait until Sunday!! It's going to be exciting!

That’s Magic Johnson with three wows and four exclamation points. He even name checked the guy he said stabbed in the back, Rob Pelinka. That’s how big that is! 

But wait, it gets better. Because there was also the news that Anthony Davis is agreeing to waive his $4 million trade bonus.

Hell yes! Even more cap space! Correction, not just more cap space, but maximum cap space. No, they haven’t won jack yet. But Laker fan reacted like they just added a couple more jerseys. That “Cap Space” jersey was going right into the rafter next to the Cap himself, Kareem. See what I did there?!

How big was that? Biggest thing ever, if you ask Erv, who at this point, has no shot at ever putting his phone down, quote: : “Laker Nation, Anthony Davis just showed all of us Lakers fans he wants to win a championship by waiving his $4M trade kicker!”

Wait! There’s more. LeBron is giving Anthony Davis his number 23 jersey. Yeah I said, LeBron freaking James, was giving up his number: you know how weird dudes are with their numbers. But LeBron must be in it to win it, if he’s giving his number to the big fella. But what number would LeBron rock? The natural thinking was he’d go back to his old number 6.

And he appeared to confirm that with a tweet that included a small 6 and the praying hands emoji.

Huge day for Laker fans. I know it sucks if you bought a LeBron 23 jersey last year and it was relevant for a year, but look at this way – give it a year or two and it will be really cool and retro.

And even better, if you have an old Eddie Jones jersey, you just need an A and an M and now you’ve got a LeBron number 6 jersey.

In fact, spare a thought for Eddie Jones, who had number 6 with the Heat and with the Lakers, only to see LeBron come in and take them over in each city.

So to recap: the Lakers trade three players to Washington to clear cap space, Anthony Davis waives his trade bonus, LeBron gives AD his number, LeBron appears to take Eddie Jones old number, all of that happens in one day and that’s the best day ever for Laker fans. But wait, there’s more!! This from Chris Haynes:  “Toronto Raptors star Kawhi Leonard intends to grant the Los Angeles Lakers and the Los Angeles Clippers meetings when free agency opens on June 30, league sources told Yahoo Sports.”

And this from Dirk Nowitzki: SHUT IT DOWN LET’S GO HOME!!!!! AND THIS FROM JIM ROME CAR FLAG NATION, MOUNT THE HELL UP!

You know Laker myopia runs rampant: you know Laker fan is thinking: build it and they will come. Clear enough cap space and the best two way player in the game, will drop everything to be here. We’re the freaking Lakers, yo!! Everyone wants to be here. Never mind that prior to LeBron, NO ONE WANTED TO BE THERE. AT LEAST NO ONE WHO MATTERED. Just waste your time telling that to Laker fan: Laker fan has already decided he’s getting Kawhi. And they are amped.

At this point, Laker fans are just that Jack Nicholson nodding and smiling meme. 

Have yourself a day, Laker fan.  Have yourself a freaking life, Laker fan! And just has Laker fan’s head was going to explode, there was still more! Marc Stein reports: Kyrie Irving remains as much a target for the Lakers as Kawhi Leonard, league sources say, now that the Lakers are sure they can open maximum cap space. They are swinging for the fences despite all of the signals that have pointed Irving to Brooklyn ...

It took Laker fans about three seconds to go from clowning Kyrie and the Celtics to convincing themselves that Kyrie would be a great fit for LeBron and AD. He knows LeBron, he’s a quality catch-and-shoot guy, he can score when LeBron and AD sit, and he’ll be humbled because he learned the grass isn’t greener on the other side. Right….right, Laker fan! So you’re going to get either Kawhi or Kyrie. You know, because you’re the Lakers. Then again, with that logic, why settle for that: I mean, you’re the Lakers, right? I’m’ sure it would be easy to convince BOTH Kyrie and Kawhi, to take less, share the ball more and play third and fourth fiddle to the big two. Why? Because you are the freaking Lakers! So the question, do they go all in, and sign a max guy, or spread the money around and fill a number of holes. And the answer is, YES! Do it all.  Why. Same reason anyone does anything. Because they can. And the L.A. Lakers can do whatever the hell they want. 

And to the question of whether to sign a max guy or a number or role players” c’mon this is Hollywood: this isn’t a role player’s town; it’s a star’s town: get LeBron and A.D. A third wheel, run em all into the ground, load mgmt... Be damned and start planning that parade. And when it happens, given the dumpster fire they were about five minutes ago, you go ahead and given Linda, Jeanie and Rob their statues in front of Staples and make sure they’re in front of Erv’s, Kobe’s and Kareem’s: because if they pull this off, Linda, Jeanie and Rob will be way more important than any of those three! LAKER FAN, YOU HAVEN’T WON JACK.  NOR SIGNED ANYONE.  BUT DON’T LET THAT GET IN THE WAY OF YOUR PARADE. OR YOUR PARTY.