Chiefs 34 Ravens 20

KC got on a plane, flew to Baltimore, kicked in the door, and took all the Ravens’ bleep.

Jim Rome
September 29, 2020 - 9:27 am
Patrick Mahomes

USA Today

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Last night’s Kansas City-Baltimore game can be summed up in one tweet from Chiefs defensive end Frank Clark: Kicked in they door and took all they bleep. What an amazing tweet. 

Thank you, Frank. Perfectly said. That is exactly what Kansas City did. They got on a plane, flew to Baltimore, kicked in the door, and took all the Ravens’ bleep.  or as the late pat Tillman would say, THAT WAS A NICE SWIFT ASS-KICKING.

Or, as another wise man once said, KC’s plan was to go in there, hit them with some good bleep, don't get hit and come home with a pocket full of cash.” 

KC didn’t just win that game 34-20 and give themselves an edge in the race for the number one seed in the AFC.

They beat the crap out of Baltimore. And humiliated them. Again. That was a humbling. KC walked into Baltimore’s house, tracked mud all over the carpets, put their feet on the furniture and raided the fridge, slammed their beer, smashed grub, looked at the Ravens and said, THE HELL YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT??? YEAH. THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT. Because they didn’t do a thing, because they couldn’t. And honestly. No.  I didn’t see that coming. But I should have. 

34-20 is a 14-point beatdown and it’s still a lot closer than the game really felt. If Kansas City doesn’t get conservative in the second half, they could’ve put 50 on Baltimore. If Patrick Mahomes wanted to put 50 on the Ravens, he would have. Because Mahomes pretty does whatever the hellever he wants, whenever the hell he wants, to whoever the hell he wants: especially to the Ravens. 

Speaking of which… you know all that talk about the rivalry between Patrick Mahomes and Lamar Jackson?  We can go ahead and stop wasting our time on that.  Because there is no rivalry here. Not now there’s not. Not when Patrick is 3-0 vs. Lamar…and not when Patrick is at his best vs. the Ravens and Lamar is out his worst v. the chiefs.  And that’s how it was last night. Again. 

And yes, I’m calling him Patrick…not Pat….not Patty. Just Patrick. Because his mom made it very clear last night that his name is Patrick. And after everything I saw, he deserves to be called whatever he wants to be called. 

Going into the game, there was a ton of talk about this being the game of the season and a battle between the two best teams. And if that really was a battle between the two best teams, you might as well just give KC another Lombardi right now.

The first quarter wasn’t exactly the offensive explosion that people expected. There was a Justin Tucker field goal and a Patrick Mahomes touchdown run.

But then things got rolling in the second quarter. As we like to see in horse racing, that’s when the real running began; and that’s when the Chiefs ran the Ravens right out of their yard, starting with this play from Kansas City on the Ravens five-yard line.

 

The. Hell. Was. That?! No. Seriously. What the hell was that? An underhand pass to the fullback for a touchdown? Who does that? Damn Pat! Errrr Patrick. The freaking audacity. The awesomeness. That was incredible and hilarious at the same time.

If you’re a defense, you never want to give up a touchdown, but you really don’t want to give up a touchdown on an underhand shovel pass to a fullback. It still just counts for seven points, but it feels even worse. 7 points on the scoreboard, but there’s really no way to quantify to humiliation that comes along with being on the wrong side of that; especially, a proud dee like the Ravens.

Then Kansas City tempted fate. They went with a short kickoff and that didn’t work out so well, the Ravens housed it. 

And for a moment it looked like we had ourselves a shootout. I even tweeted as much.  For a moment it looked like Baltimore was in that game and we were going to get the battle everyone expected.

But it never happened. Because Patrick Mahomes spent the rest of the half carving up Baltimore’s defense.

The Chiefs made it look easy, but it wasn’t easy.

With the score 27-20 and the ball on the Baltimore two, this is what Eric Bieniemy dialed up the old FGTD – Fat Guy Touchdown! The greatest play in sports. If the Jets or Giants were smart, they would’ve hired Bieniemy as their head coach before he got off the field and flew back to KC last night. But of course they aren’t so they didn’t.

I don’t care how bad your day is going, when you see a big man like that getting his meat hooks on a ball and scoring a touchdown, you can’t help but laugh. That would put big ass smile on anyone’s face. Unless, of course, you’re playing for the Ravens.

Because that was the end of an embarrassing, humiliating night for them. Patrick Mahomes threw for 385 yards and four touchdowns, and ran for 26 yards and another touchdown. And there was that shot of him counting on his fingers and shrugging.

He completed passes to eight different guys, including an underhanded pass to a fullback and a floater to a left tackle. And he did that against one of the best defenses in the league, allegedly. He did it to a very proud defense, most definitely.

And all they could do after the game was shake their damn heads. As Calais Campbell said “They don’t give that guy half a billion dollars for no reason.” That is the truth. And the thing is, half a billion is a bargain. KC got a discount.  If anything, Mahomes is underpaid. Even at a half a bill. Yeah, I said it. Because I mean it. And it’s true. 

Because as much credit and respect as Mahomes gets, I’m not sure it’s enough. Seriously. People need to stop and take note of what he is doing because this isn’t supposed to happen. He is shattering records just about every time he steps on the field and he makes it look easy; like he’s just out running on the playground, and not on the biggest stage against the best players and coaches in the world. 

And he’s doing it in what is practically the third preseason game. Can you imagine what will happen when they really get rolling this year?

He was just toying with Baltimore’s defense last night. Just like he always does. And KC, as a team, just snatched Baltimore’s soul. Just like they always do. And that’s not an exaggeration or figure of speech; that’s a fact. 

As much as KC will tell you last night was just one game, for Baltimore, that is way more than one game. It is a trend and it is a major concern. There’s the issue that on the rare occasions they fall behind in games, they seem to lose their identity and never get back in it.  They really don’t come back on anybody. 

And then there’s the more obvious fact that they just can’t beat Kansas City. Lamar Jackson, who didn’t even crack 100 passing yards, said it best when he called KC “our kryptonite.”

That’s exactly what they are. Baltimore is a really good team, but when they face KC, they get wrecked. Every time.

And John Harbaugh knows it:  "They beat us. They out-executed us. They out-game-planned us. They just beat us. That's the story tonight. Big-picture stuff, all of that, I don't know. They're better, obviously. They're a better football team at this point in time."

Correction. They’re a better football team at every point in time these two meet; not just this point in time. 

And at this point, they aren’t just better than Baltimore, they’re better than everyone. And it’s not even close.