Colorado D Bag

Jordan Spieth is the best dude ever.

Jim Rome
October 22, 2020 - 11:42 am
JOrdan Spieth

USA Today


Jordan Spieth is a professional golfer with one helluva résumé despite the current and very talked-about three-year slump. At the age of 27, he’s a three-time major winner, with 11 TOUR victories, a Fed-Ex Cup, and he's a former Player of the Year who led the money list back in 2015. So he’s pretty much done it all.

The one thing he hadn’t done is ace a par 4. Not on TOUR, not in college, not in a practice round, and not on vacation.

That all changed, according to Golf Digest, at some point during the COVID hiatus. Because Spieth and his wife, Annie, were laying low in Colorado just outside of Aspen—when they decided to make a low-key tee time at a local country club.

Someone at the club couldn’t keep the celebrity tee time to themselves so word began to travel that the former World Number 1 was about to play 18 at their track.

To the knob that leaked that info—way to keep a secret, guy. Way to blow up the spot and Spieth in the process.

So Spieth is playing his ultra-casual round and gets to the drivable par 4, 12th. Some local named Shane Smith who heard Spieth was coming through decided to watch the TOUR pro and three-time major champion from his backyard because he lives next to the green. Can’t blame the guy. Jordan Spieth is about to walk by your house with some bats in his hand. What resident isn’t going to post up and watch him roll through?

So Spieth pulls driver to take a shot at the elevated dance floor. According to Golf Digest, the 12th green at Snowmass Country Club is elevated so it’s a blind shot for the players. But not a blind landing for Shane Smith.

After Spieth hit his drive, he drove up to the green to look for his ball but couldn’t find it. So he asked Shane Smith if he had seen it. Smith replied to Spieth, “Oh that was you? It’s in the hole.”

Hot damn! What a shot and what a moment! Best vacation ever.

Spieth then said to Smith, “You’re kidding?!”

Smith said, “No, man. It bounced twice and went in. Nice shot.”

At that point, according to Smith, Spieth starts losing his mind, jumping around, and yelling about how he had never made an ace on a par 4 before. Then his wife joined in and started celebrating, too.

Then Shane Smith decided to reveal to Jordan Spieth that Shane Smith is the biggest tool, jack wagon, donkey, idiot, d-bag in the entire world.

Because Smith told Spieth, “Hey, man, I was trying to be funny but your ball finished twenty feet from the cup. I marked it and then put it in the hole.”

Hey, Shane. You suck, dude. You really do. That’s one of the lamest and baggiest pranks I’ve ever heard of. Let me guess—you’re the guy who thinks it’s funny to pre-record lottery drawings and fake out your friends with winning tickets? Because to you—watching someone get excited over once-in-a-lifetime things only to crash them back down to earth is your idea of a great time.

Shane Smith also told Golf Digest that he does this to regular players, too. As if copping to that makes it better. Like he’s just treating Spieth the way he’s treats a normal member.

My question is this; how the hell does this guy still have his house on the golf course? How has no one burned it down or at least evicted him? How do the locals put up with this loser?

Touching someone else’s rock in golf is a cardinal sin.   Moving into the hole and faking them out into thinking they made an ace on a par 4 is a damn war crime. And being a repeat offender taking advantage of your backyard’s proximity to the hole pretty much makes you the biggest d-bag in Colorado.

Smith told Golf Digest that Spieth was really nice about it. Because, of course he was. He’s Jordan Spieth.  One of the best dudes ever. And he’s a guest at a club. And everyone in town is watching him. He’s not about to let his hands go on a local a-hole. Although NO ONE WOULD HAVE FAULTED HIM IF HE DID.

Smith said, “He couldn’t have been nicer about the whole thing. Just an awesome story that I’ll never forget.”

An awesome story? Glad you had such an awesome time being such a tool.

Look how proud Shane Smith is of himself. Telling Golf Digest this is the treatment he gives everyone and then calling it an awesome story.

You’re lucky it was Spieth. Try that with Bryson or Pat Reed on and see how it goes.

Although I can’t imagine any TOUR pros will be swinging by Snowmass anymore. First off, the starter leaks the tee-times. And then you gotta deal with a Jamie Kennedy wannabe on the 12th green.

Stand the hell down, dude: no one thinks you’re funny.  And one day you’re going to do it to the wrong dude, who doesn’t get your joke and it’s going to go really badly.