Condoleezza Rice

USA Today

Condoleezza Rice To C-Town Report

Really bizarre. Even for the Browns.

November 19, 2018 - 11:39 am
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Stop me if you’ve heard this one before, something really weird happened. And it involved the Cleveland Browns. I mean, I’ll stand by what I’ve been saying. They’re still America’s Team. But they’re weird. Often times, weird is good. Just not in this case. But the fact that they got weird during their bye week is actually pretty cool. Because as is usually the case, with the Browns, we are talking about them. Even when they’re not playing.

Yesterday, Adam Schefter reported that the Cleveland Browns would like to interview Condoleezza Rice for their head coaching job. Yes, I just said that Adam Schefter reported that the Cleveland Browns would like to interview Condoleezza Rice for their head coaching job.

And the news dropped while we were rehearsing for the NFL ON CBS before we hit the air. Obviously the story was so weird, even for the Browns, I obviously thought to myself; don’t get hooked; is it from his verified account, or is it a fake Schefter account and is someone jerking around, trying to get someone to take the bait. No one go with that until they see the freaking blue check that signifies verified on the twitter account. Then again, I didn’t need to tell anyone that in the offices of the NFL ON CBS. They’re the best and brightest. Drew Kaliski is running that show. I saw Sean McManus and David Berson checking in on everyone. No way you’re hooking any of them! And there it was. The blue check and it really was Schefter’s report. That the Browns would like to talk to the former Secretary of State about their head coaching job. 

What?!??

The Cleveland Browns wanting to interview someone who has never coached a game of football to be their head coach? Did Henry Kissinger turn them down? Hank Paulson wasn’t available? Does George P. Schultz want in on this?

How the hell does that make any sense at all? Then again, it is the Cleveland Browns. And when it comes to the Browns, anything is possible. Like when Jimmy Haslam took the advice of a homeless man and drafted Johnny Manziel.

Don’t get me wrong. Rice is incredibly smart. She served on the initial college football playoff selection committee and she chaired the commission to review college basketball. She is so much smarter than many of the people who’ve actually coached the Cleveland Browns. And she loves football. 

In fact, don’t you come in here and tell me that she wouldn’t be better than a lot of the guys who’ve worn a headset on the Browns sideline. You telling me she couldn’t do a better job than Chris Palmer, Jim Shofner, or the Man-genius. I think I’d rather go with Condi Rice than Rob Chudzinski. 

It’s not that she’s not qualified. She’s probably over-qualified, aside from the fact that she hasn’t actually coached a game of football. Then again, previous Browns general managers have hired plenty of people who’ve actually coached football games and that didn’t work out. So maybe someone, somewhere was thinking, “Hey, let’s think outside the box.” 

Which is ironic, because there is nothing more “inside the box” than thinking that the phrase “think outside the box” is cool or interesting. That is usually said by the same person who thinks “why do we park on a driveway and drive on a parkway!”  Why does sour cream have an expiration date? 

And it was only a matter of time before the idea was shot down by everyone involved. GM John Dorsey released a statement saying: “Former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice is a great leader, possesses the highest possible character and also happens to be a Browns fan. I have the utmost respect and admiration for all she’s accomplished and was honored to meet her for the first time earlier this season. Our coaching search will be thorough and deliberate, but we are still in the process of composing the list of candidates and Secretary Rice has not been discussed.”

Seriously, did John Dorsey ever think he’d be at a point in his career where he’d be refuted rumors about interviewing a former secretary of state for a head coaching job?

And did Secretary Rice ever think that she’d be in a situation where she’d be posting on Facebook that she is not a candidate for an NFL head coaching gig? And that she would conclude that statement with: BTW -- I'm not ready to coach but I would like to call a play or two next season if the Browns need ideas! And at no time will I call for a "prevent defense."

Insane. Completely insane. And the problem with it is, there actually has been headway made by women in NFL coaching. Multiple teams have women on their coaching staffs in some capacity. But this story makes a mockery of the whole thing. I’m not sure where it came from, but it could only involve one team and that team is America’s Team, the Cleveland Browns.  

Really bizarre. Even for the Browns. And totally preposterous. Then again, no more preposterous than some of the guys they have actually hired and paid.