Congrats, 45

MJ the fisherman.

Jim Rome
January 27, 2021 - 9:53 am
Michael Jordan

USA Today

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According to multiple news websites and sports blogs with gaping content voids to fill; Michael Jordan and his S.S. Catch 23 won some kind of fishing tournament yesterday. A fishing tournament called the Buccaneer Cup off the Florida coast in Palm Beach.

Baseball bat? Get this guy a fishing rod.

This officially makes Mike a better boat owner than NBA owner. Officially. Let the record and the Wikipedia page reflect that.

Apparently Mike the boat owner wasn’t there to just cut checks, smoke 10-foot cigars, and break champagne bottles off the hull. Nope. Mike was a regular ol’ Jackie Moon. The rare combo of owner and star player.

According to the final stat sheet—and yes, I’m looking at a stat sheet from a fishing tournament—Mike reeled in two of the seven sailfish in his boat’s victory over the second place vessel, De-Bait-Able.

Question for all you Boat Guys out there: Is it required that you give your rig a stupid name? Because on this same leaderboard are handles like Bite Me, Reel Estate, And outcast.

If I had an 80-foot Viking yacht I’m not going with a fish pun. Corvette Vanity Plate Guy can’t believe these glosses.

Anyway—I’m no sport fisherman but these things Mike was pulling out of the Atlantic aren’t exactly baby trout. We’re talking 10-foot, 130 pound sailfish. And 45 pulled in two of his team’s seven fish in the win.

I don’t know if there’s a Most Valuable Angler award for the tourney, but if there is I’m sure Mike stepped over everyone else on deck to get it.

Speaking of which—I clicked on the article because I was curious about Mike’s tendencies on the boat. And I was extremely underwhelmed by the lack of reporting.

Did this guy deny his fellow sailors food when they fished bad?

Did he gamble with the deckhands?

When a fish pulled on his line did he say that he took that personally?

Did he shrug his shoulders after he reeled one in? Did he push-off another fisherman to get space? Did he blame some bad pizza beforehand on the flu to add his legacy of being a champion angler?

Did he punch a teammate in the face for not backing down in fishing practice?

Did Scottie Pippen quit and refuse to come out of the cabin when he didn’t get to catch the last fish?

Did the Pistons pull up in a pirate ship and start hammering the Catch 23 with cannonballs?

Those are the things I wanted to know. Guess I’ll have to wait for Mike to release a 10-part doc that he has complete creative control over called The Last Cast.

Anyway--congrats, Mike. If anyone deserved to win something--it's a 6-time NBA champion, business mogul, country club owner, billionaire, throwing fishing lines out over his 80 foot yacht. 

You were due.

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