Damarious Randall

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Damarious Freakin Randall

Respect for the tweet. And even more respect if you somehow have to follow through.

May 30, 2018 - 11:53 am

Here’s the thing: I could do an entire show, three hours, every day, just talking about social media and the ways that guys use it, abuse it, and get loose on it. And it would be a great show. But that’s not what I want to do. However, this next story is also twitter-related. 

And it starts with Cleveland Brown Damarious Randall. CHECK THIS: HE ACTUALLY TWEETED THIS. 

‘If the Cleveland Cavaliers win the 2018 NBA finals I'll buy everyone who retweet's this a jersey...’

On the surface, that feels like such an incredible gesture from a guy who arrived in C-town in the offseason trade with the Packers. I mean, you want to talk about winning over your new fans, there’s no better way than with a generous gift. 

If they win, we win, and everyone wins. Love it. Damarious is all in on Cleveland and Believeland.  

But wait, that’s not what this is about. What this is about is the fact that Damarious is a huge Warriors fan. And he made that tweet from the standpoint of, yeah, right, if the Cavs win, I’ll buy everyone a jersey. But it’s not going to happen.

So this isn’t about him being kind, it’s about him rolling into Cleveland bringing a truckload of salt with him. And I love that, too. 

Everyone knows about the goofy wagers between the mayors of cities or between teammates who went to rival schools, like if my school beats yours, you have to wear my school’s jersey. Except in this case, that bet is between Damarious Randall and practically all of Ohio. 

Especially since that tweet is already up to 719,000 retweets. Yeah, nearly three quarters of a million retweets. That means if C-town pulls off the upset, Damarious is going to be heading to his local sporting goods store and ordering close to a million jerseys. And at roughly a hundred bucks a pop, that’s going to add up to….roughly 100 million dollars. 

Uhhh, I’m not a mathematician, but that’s more than his salary by a factor of, let me check, a ton.

And don’t get this wrong. He’s not casually rooting for the Warriors. He’s all in on them. But that doesn’t mean he’s not happy for Cleveland. In fact, he’s thrilled. Check this tweet: ‘I’m glad the Cavs made it to the finals so I can watch Curry light that bleep up Game 3 & 4’ 

My man. That is incredible. Straight freaking fire. I’m so glad the Cavs made it to the Finals, not because it’s great for the city and their fans, but because I won’t have to travel far to see MY TEAM beat Cleveland. Amazing. 

Some might say it’s stupid and reckless to come to a new city and start trolling their fans. Especially when that city is Cleveland they take their sports so seriously. And especially when you haven’t played a game for them. Because you are going to take fire back. But Randall is going in. And it is awesome. 

Almost as awesome as his response to someone tweeting at him: ‘That’s quite the way to ingratiate yourself to your new fan base’

And he responded: ‘They will love me when they see me play Free Safety’

What a legend. And if you’re a Browns fan and you saw that and now you hate Randall because of these tweets, you need to check yourself. You’re going to get all bitter about him because he roots for a different basketball team? He’s rooting for the Warriors, not the Bengals or Steelers. He’s having a little fun. You should, too. Lighten up. Why is everything so personal. Why, when it comes to your team and your town, is everything a reason to go. Besides, if he’s wrong, you can talk junk and you get a free gamer; so what are you so uptight about. Worst thing to happen to y ‘all, he’s one of the best. And especially if he’s as good as he says he is on Sunday’s.

And if you think he’s joking about the jersey bet, he’s not. At least he says he’s not. Because someone retweeted his original offer with the comment of “Zero percent he delivers” and Randall retweeted that with “100% chance”

Respect for the tweet. And even more respect if you somehow have to follow through. Especially since it’s going to cost you nearly $100M. Hope that’s worth it.  Luckily for him, he’s never going to have to find out.