Dan Haren's Helping Hand

He’s announced that he is auctioning off his bobbleheads. All 300.

Jim Rome
March 26, 2020 - 9:52 am
Dan Haren

USA Today

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As the country deals with the COVID-19 pandemic, people are finding new and different wants to step up and help each other. Over the past few weeks, I’ve mentioned numerous athletes who have contributed money to cover the salaries of arena workers or helping out local non-profits. And now, my guy, retired MLB pitcher Dan Haren has put his own spin on it. I say my guy, because he’s a neighbor, I see him in our neighborhood gym, or I used it until it closed, and he’s an all-round tremendous dude. 

He has been serving as the Arizona Diamondbacks pitching coordinator, so he was in Arizona when spring training was closed down. He and his family made a gift to Children’s Action Alliance in Phoenix and the Hollywood Food Coalition in Los Angeles, but he wanted to do more.

So he’s announced that he is auctioning off his bobbleheads. And he has one hell of a collection, totaling 300 bobbleheads. As he tweeted last night, “Gonna get rid of all 300.”

But this isn’t about being at home and wanting to do some spring cleaning. Haren is auctioning them off on eBay and the money is going to the two non-profits he and his family already support: Children’s Action Alliance and the Hollywood Food Coalition.

As he wrote the auction description: “My family has already given privately to these organizations. I was trying to think of creative ways to contribute to humans in need during this pandemic, so I decided to auction off my bobblehead collection and attach a personalized, signed note with each bobble.”

Haren also told Molly Knight: “These charities need help right now and I want to get more people involved to raise awareness about the great work they do to help people who really need it. I can’t imagine not having a home right now, or not knowing where my next meal was coming from.”

That is awesome.

And you know what else is awesome? You’re not just getting a bobblehead owned by Dan Haren, you’re getting a bobblehead with a note from Dan Haren about the guy in the bobblehead.  And if you anything about Dan Haren, he’s a CONTENT WIZARD. 

For example: Vladimir Guerrero’s bobblehead comes with a note from Haren that reads “Hit him on purpose once. So glad he didn’t charge.”

RIGHT?!?   Haren’s not a small dude.  Far from it; he goes like 6-5; and I’m sure he CAN handle himself.  And he probably would have the reach advantage on Vlad.  But Vlad has the weight advantage and I’m guessing he could do some real damage on the inside if he did make it to the mound: and especially if he had intentions.  If you see a guy step into the batter’s box with bare hands, you know he means business.  And you know you don’t want those hands. 

Next…If you win the auction for the Zack Greinke bobblehead, you get a note that says “Will tell me selling my bobblehead collection is a dumb idea.” 

If Zack Greinke would say that, Zack Greinke would be wrong. Because it is a great idea. Maybe the best idea.  You’re supporting two great causes and you’re getting something really cool in return.  So Zack, if that’s really is your take, you’re entitled to it, just know it’s the wrong take.

Where else can you get a Rich Harden bobblehead with this awesome personal detail: “would literally punch the screen when I beat him at Street Fighter 2?”

I get the concept of leaving them wanting more; but now I NEED more.  What characters did you pick? Did someone go with E Honda and drop the hundred-hand-slap? Who was Blanka? Or did you just go old school, rival vs rival, with a Ken v. Ryu matchup?

Speaking of old school, Haren’s also auctioning off an old school Oakland A’s Reggie Jackson bobblehead with the note: “I see him at the gym sometimes and I’m certain he could still beat me up.”

The fact that Reggie can still move some iron does not surprise me at all. In fact, it makes complete and total sense. I can remember having Reggie on my TV show from the ml all-star game years ago: and he followed another hall of famer who had just been on the show: and this particular hall of famer had put a great deal of weight, and Reggie said to me, “Romey, I can’t believe that. Can’t you just get in the gym? I mean, I do, and I much older than him.” So, no it does not surprise me that Haren still sees Reggie in the gym, and yes, Reggie could still kick all of our asses.

How about Oakland A Mike Piazza? Haren writes “I remember he hated turbulence.” Mike Piazza is awesome. I’ve talked to him so many times over the years.  Last week on this show, in fact. I consider Mike a good friend, even. I did not know that he hated turbulence. But, Now I do, thanks to the legendary Dan Haren bobble sale. 

The Clayton Kershaw bobblehead has a great beard. Haren doesn’t believe it’s an accurate representation. “Could absolutely NOT grow a beard this thick.”

Facial hair smack. You’re helping two great causes, you’re getting a bobblehead, and you’re getting some Grade-A facial hair smack. It doesn’t get any better than that.

Haren even kicks it totally old school, the oldest of the old school with a CY Young bobblehead. And the note that comes with that is “I won the Cy Young in 2013.” Congrats on that! And I was the NBA MVP a year later. 

If you win the Manny Ramirez bobblehead, you get this note about what Man-Ram did to Haren’s pitching: “19 of 38, 3 home runs, 4 doubles, 1.429 O.P.S. off me. Is that good?”

No, Dan, not particularly. But at least you kept him in the yard for 35 of those 38 at-bats, and that’s a lot better than many pitchers did.

I could keep going, because the little notes from Haren are that good. And because the idea is that good. And yes, I’ll admit, I’m biased. I like Dan Haren. And I like this idea. And I like the idea of helping non-profits right now. So this is one of those times where I’m not just reporting on something, I’m rooting for something. As you know, I never root for anything, other than something to talk about. But I’m rooting for this because it’s a great cause.  And I’d love to see these auctions get really high and raise a lot of money.  And, and, it gave me something awesome to talk about. 

Here’s the other thing, if you win the auction for a particular bobblehead, Haren is also doing to send you five other random bobbleheads from his collection.  

If you want to bid on them, go to eBay and search for Dan Haren bobblehead. Don’t look for the actual bobbleheads of Dan Haren, those are cool, but that’s not going to raise money for non-profits. Look for the ones of Hank Aaron, Derek Jeter, and more. The auctions all have about six days left, so get on there and get bidding.

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