Dysfunction In Dallas

Jerry’s guy isn’t getting it done.

Jim Rome
October 21, 2020 - 10:55 am
Mike McCarthy

USA Today

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It’s been a little less than 24 hours since I saw maybe the greatest tweet in the history of Twitter and my life has not been the same.

And let me be clear, there have been some great tweets in the history of that platform. Back in the old days, guys would get loose. Like in 2009 when Milwaukee Buck Charlie Villanueva jumped on from the locker room at halftime: In da locker room, snuck to post my twitt. We're playing the Celtics, tie ball game at da half. Coach wants more toughness. I gotta step up.

Or when San Francisco 49er Anthony Davis used Twitter to celebrate a win over the Detroit Lions: “They talked bleep all week. We said nothin/Came and kicked ass. Bleep classy/Save classy for Morton’s.”

Save classy for Morton’s is a legendary line. That’s pure poetry.

But as good as those tweets were, and there are more like them, they’re all a distant second to this one from the NFL Network’s Jane Slater: Cowboys players initially bought into keeping things internal. Now as they sit 2-4 the discontent is leaking out. On the coaching staff “totally unprepared. They don’t teach. They don’t have any sense of adjusting on the fly.” Another “they just aren’t good at their jobs”

Freaking awesome. That is like the Baba O'Riley of tweets – I don’t care how many times I hear it, I’ll never get sick of it. And just like with baba O’Reilly, when I hear that first note, or in this case, when I see  the start of that tweet, I know my life, hell, my universe, is about to get so much better.

Because that is the absolute best. I mean, where do you even start? Well, there’s the fact that the team just got its ass kicked 38-10 on national television on Monday night and head coach Mike McCarthy said this after the game: “I felt like our preparation coming into the game was our best this year.”

It’s one thing to say that after getting hammered by four touchdowns at home on national television. I mean that is an audacious quote after you’ve just been knocked the hell out in your own building,  but even better when you have two anonymous players, a few hours later  say this about the coaching staff: “totally unprepared. They don’t teach. They don’t have any sense of adjusting on the fly” And “they just aren’t good at their jobs”

McCarthy saying that was our best preparation all year and a player or players countering that by  saying they are totally unprepared is the best….totally unprepared, hmmmmmm!!!

In fact, that whole quote from the player is amazing: “totally unprepared. They don’t teach. They don’t have any sense of adjusting on the fly”

Like, when you’re looking for a coach, you’re looking for someone with great preparation, for someone who can teach technique and the system, and someone who can make adjustments in the game. Some guys are great at prep, others specialize in teaching, and others are all about in-game adjustments.

But to hear this ANONYMOUS player, the current Cowboys coaching staff sucks at all three. Too bad that player didn’t put his name to that quote, because it’s one of the greatest quotes ever.  They’re “totally unprepared.” And when it comes to teaching, “they don’t teach.” Fine, but you can make up for a lot of that if you’re really good at in-game adjustments, but “they don’t have any sense of adjusting on the fly.”

Notice that last part – not that they’re not great at adjusting on the fly, or they could improve in that area, but “they don’t have any sense of adjusting on the fly.” Like, they don’t even know what that concept means. The whole idea of adjusting on the fly is completely foreign to them. Like they devised a game plan, that almost assuredly isn’t going to work as evidenced by their record and how crappy they are on the field, but the plan is the plan, and we’re not deviating from it no matter badly we’re getting our asses kicked. This is our system, and we’re running it man, come hell or high water. I don’t give a damn what the scoreboard; we’re not just jack. For you or anyone else. Man, that’s awesome. 

And you know if two guys are saying stuff like this, a lot more believe it. You have to know that guys are looking around at each other in the locker room like, are you seeing this stuff? These guys have no idea what the hell they’re doing. Who are these dudes?  Did they just take a bunch of randos off the street and give them keys to the facility.   Because they don’t know the first thing about football. 

And they’re right. This team is a complete and utter tire fire. They’re giving up points on a record pace. The offense was supposed to have an identity and it has nothing. And McCarthy doesn’t seem to be bringing much to the table at all. If anything at all. 

And the truly hilarious thing is: this team is in first place. If they believed in the coaches, they’d pull together and realize that everything is still in front of them. They can still win this division and make the playoffs. But six games in, guys are absolutely burying McCarthy. Six games in, they’re telling reporters – this guy sucks.

AND THAT’S awesome. Just the absolute best. It used to be that guys gave a head coach the benefit of the doubt for a while, but not these guys and not this head coach. They’re jumping ship in the middle of October. WHEN THEY’RE IN FIRST PLACE!

Jerry’s guy isn’t getting it done. I mean, what an incredible head coaching search by Jerral. Jerry the Head Coach Search Firm is about as good as Jerry The General Manager. And Jerry The General Manager is about as good as Mike McCarthy The Head Coach.

And McCarthy was supposed to be the PRO; He had been in Green Bay for more than a decade. He won a Super Bowl. Never mind those reports that he used to Miss Packer team meetings to get a massage in his office.

Forget that thing, because he was coming to Dallas to be the adult in the room. After all, he and his crew had hunkered down in that barn or bunker or whatever the hell it was, breaking tape and approaching it like they were already a NFL coaching staff.

When you see how they’re showing up right now, exactly what work was that crew doing? Were they doing any work at all or were they just running a fantasy league and watching games the way you or I would? OR JUST TIPPING AND MILKING COWS.

And if you’re looking to McCarthy for answers right now, you’re probably not getting them. Because he didn’t have much in yesterday’s media conference call: “I think like a lot of things when you hit a part of your season, or any challenge where there is negativity out there and where it comes from and who it comes from, that’s something that I’ve never chased. I think you do have to recognize it. I just really go back to my first meeting with the football team. I’ve always stated that . . . it’s important to handle things as men. I mean, if you do have something to say publicly that is of most important, I think it’s important to say it to the individual, or particularly in a group dynamic setting, especially in the game of football, especially for the Dallas Cowboys. I mean, that’s all part of the development our program, of the system that we’ve got going here. I think that’s just part of our flight right now. We don’t like the way we played last night. We had some areas that we struggled strong in. It’s definitely not what we’re looking for.”

Thanks, Mike. That really settled everyone down. If people were thinking that you and your crew weren’t up to the job, that word salad really addressed it.

With Jason Garrett you could count on two things: a lot of clapping and a lot of 8-8 seasons. Cowboys’ fans would kill for either of those right now. Because according to at least two players, Jerry’s new coach can’t coach. Or teach.  Or adjust.  Or really do anything at all to help them better players and help the team win.  And after seeing that garbage Monday night, how is Dak’s deal not done yet?