Gronk's Big Announcement

Suckers!

Jim Rome
November 19, 2019 - 10:31 am
Rob Gronkowski

USA Today

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For days now, Patriots fans were getting all worked up about something. And for the first time in a while, it wasn’t about Tom Brady or about how the Patriots don’t get enough respect. And yes, amazingly, that is still a thing for some Patriots fans – that their team doesn’t get enough respect.

But for the first time in a while, they weren’t getting all worked up over that. Instead, they were getting all worked up over an announcement that Rob Gronkowski was going to make today.

On Sunday, Gronk released this video.

So that was an announcement that he was going to make an announcement today. And immediately, Pats Nation started to freak out. Gronk is coming back! The band is getting back together! Our offensive issues will be solved!

You see, every Pats fan has been doing the math on what day Gronk needs to unretire and come back to the Patriots. And with the final day of Week 13 being the official cutoff date, today’s announcement made perfect sense for him to announce his return.

So this morning, Patriots fans threw on their finest Steve Grogan jerseys, popped open a Sam Adams, and prepared for the great news. Except the announcement wasn’t about Gronk coming back.

And it never was going to be. Did you really think that he was going to announce that he was going to come back? That’s some real Lucy and Charlie Brown crap right there?

How big a sucker are you? It wasn’t about Gronk coming back to football, it was about some event he’s hosting.

Y’all got played. And it was the most obvious play ever. It was even more obvious and more predictable than the Chargers losing last night on another interception.

And because I’m not a sucker and I’m not going to get played, I’m not going to give the free pub to whatever it is that he’s plugging.

Don’t get me wrong – I have absolutely no problem with Gronk doing this and doing whatever he can to generate as much pub as he can. By all means, if he can get that run, he should. And if people are going to get hooked, all the more power to him. That’s on those chumps not him...

I just can’t believe people actually got hooked by that. Tired April Fools Day jokes can’t believe that people got suckered by that. “What’s that on your shirt” and “Your fly’s open” think that falling for the Gronk announcement is embarrassing.

And just so we’re clear, this isn’t me bashing Gronk. I really like him as a player. I miss him as a player. The game was better when that monster was out there on the field, blocking dudes into the ground, catch passes over the middle, and running over, through, and past helpless safeties.

He broke the mold. The game had never seen anyone like him before and probably will never see anyone like him again. And I’m okay with that.

Because as awesome as it was watching him play, I am really happy he’s retired. Not for me. For him. Because of all the pain he went through. And if we have to go over this again, we can. Here’s a list of the injuries:

- A back injury that cost him an entire season in college

- A high ankle sprain that required surgery

- An inguinal hip pull

- A forearm fracture

- He then fractured it again, which called for three more surgeries

- A vertebrae fracture

- A concussion, a torn ACL, and a torn MCL on the same play

- A knee strain

- A hamstring pull

- A lung bruise

- A vertebral disc hernia that required surgery

- A thigh bruise

- Another concussion

- And another back and ankle injury that cost him three games

- And a quad injury in the Super Bowl that left him in tears in his bed, unable to party, and required draining a liter of blood

And those are the ones we know about.

He went through all of that and was able to walk away from the game as the most dominant player at his position ever. Why should he come back? For who? For what?

And better yet, if you were one of the people who got hooked by the announcement and thought it was about him coming back, why would you want him to come back? When you hear that list of injuries and everything he’s put himself through, why would you want that to continue?

If you really cared about him, you’d want him to stay away. You wouldn’t be rooting for a comeback, you’d be dreading it. Then again, some of you have always had an amazing threshold for someone’s pain, especially that guy’s. If the Pats are going to run it back, and it’s looking less and less like they are, but if they’re going to, they’re going to have to do it without Gronk, because he’s no longer about that life. And If I had his current life, I wouldn’t be either.