Jay Allen Bruce Almighty

Think this dude is happy to be anywhere other than where he was?

Jim Rome
June 05, 2019 - 11:00 am
Jay Bruce

USA Today

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Let’s go all the way back to Tuesday, June 4th, 2019. Or as many of you like to call it; yesterday. Because yesterday I did something I really didn’t want to do. Yesterday, I talked about the Seattle Mariners. Never fun. Never easy. But it had to be done. And somewhere in between breaking down their warp-speed collapse and reliving Dylan Moore’s throw home to an imaginary catcher—I also mentioned the luckiest dude in the world; Jay Bruce.

I’d tell you that Jay Bruce won the lotto on Sunday but that would be a heinous understatement. Because winning the lotto pales in comparison to getting traded away from the Mariners. That’s more like a warden tossing you the keys to your own prison cell and personally walking you out the front door with a new change of clothes. Money can’t buy that kind of freedom.

So after spending 47 games in the can that he’ll never get back, Jay Bruce became a Philadelphia Phillie on Sunday and played his first game with his new squad last night in San Diego against the Padres.

And I’ll be damned—hours after I called the trade the upgrade of all upgrades for the guy—Jay Bruce’s name was trending nationwide on Twitter. As it should have been.

Because in his first very at-bat for his new team—Jay Bruce doubled in a run. Two innings later in the 4th, he left the yard all together. 

And in the very next frame, after already putting the Phillies ahead—working on a 2-hit, 2-RBI night, Jay Bruce hit a grand slam.

Jay. Allen. Bruce. Almighty.

Think this dude is happy to be anywhere other than where he was?

It’s one thing to jump ship twice and to do it in your first three at-bats with you a new squad. It’s another thing to write your handle in the big book of Philadelphia Phillies history—which is exactly what Jay Bruce did when he became the first ever Phillie to knock in 6 runs in his first game with the club. 136 years of baseball in Philadelphia and Jay Bruce made history in his third at-bat for the organization.

Have yourself a night, dude.

That win last night snapped a 5-game skid for the Phillies and kept them in first place just ahead of the Braves. And now, presumably, for the rest of the year—Jay Bruce gets to take meaningful and high leverage abs in a lineup built for October instead of wasting another second with the Mariners--a team perennially built for the trade deadline.

Speaking of the Mariners—while Jay Bruce was raking down in San Diego—13-hundred miles up the coast in Seattle, the M’s dropped another game, losing to Astros 11-5.

The team that started out 13-2 hasn’t matched that win total since. And right about now, every dude on that roster is hoping Jerry DiPoto does for them what he did for Twitter’s number three trending item last night, Jay Bruce, and sends them packing.

Fingers crossed, boys. Fingers crossed. Dare to dream.