Jerrah Running Into Hood On The Ski Mountain

Only Jerry.

Jim Rome
November 20, 2019 - 10:17 am
Bill Belichick

USA Today

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Week 12 of the NFL is here and—hot freaking damn—if there aren’t some spicy matchups on the ol’ TV Guide. Check out the bookends: Colts and Texans for 1st place tomorrow night. Ravens and Rams with Lamar Jackson under the Hollywood lights at the Coli Monday Night. And 12 other games in between on Sunday including the Dallas Cowboys going to Foxboro to play the New England Patriots.

Brady and Dak.

Edelman and Amari.

Jerruh and Bob Kraft.

Hoodie and the Clapper?

No doubt the biggest mismatch Sunday afternoon in New England is going to between the dudes wearing the headsets on the sidelines. One guy has a fistful of jewelry and is regarded as the best to ever do it. And the other guy is Jason Garrett. And Garrett's claim to fame is red hair and clapping.

I could do a whole take on how Hoodie could trade places with the Clapper on Sunday and win by four touchdowns with the underachieving Cowboys. But why do that when I can read this amazing quote from the quote machine himself, Jerry Jones.

Now, Jerruh didn’t say anything about Jason Garrett to The Athletic, but he did same something about Bill Belichick. According Jerruh, way back in the mid-90, after the Hood was bleep-canned by the Browns—Jerruh and Belichick ran into each other at a ski resort. And Jerruh told The Athletic that Hood approached him and said, “I can coach. If you ever get the opportunity, don’t forget about me.”

Jerruh being Jerruh, did exactly that. He forgot about the Hood: and instead went with Chan Gailey to replace Barry Switzer. Perfect. How utterly Cowboys of you, Jerry.

Jerry also told The Athletic, “I’ve thought about that many times. You never know where you can find a great coach. You can find them in a ski checkout line sometimes.”

First off—what the hell is a ski checkout line? Are you telling me Jerry Jones and Bill Belichick were renting twigs to get down the mountain? They didn’t have their own?

I don’t know what part of the story I like best; Jerry and Bill renting skis—Bill pitching Jerry in the rental  line—Jerry ignoring the pitch—or Bill freaking Belichick skiing. That’s an amazing sequence to play out in your head.

Then again—so is Jerry going with Chan Gailey and Dave Campo over the Hood. Obviously hindsight is 50-50. 

And no one knew after his failed stint with the Browns that Belichick would go on to win 6 of the 9 Super Bowls he's been to with the Patriots.

And there are a whole helluva lot of reasons to believe Jerry Jones would have gotten in the way of Belichick in ways that Robert Kraft never has. Robert Kraft has never tried to wrestle the phone out of Hood’s hands on draft day to select Johnny Manziel. And Robert Kraft has never fired the Hoodie for getting too much credit for Super Bowl wins.

Jerry Jones —allegedly—tried to do both of those things. But if you’re a Cowboys fan, you absolutely have to hate hearing that the greatest coach ever once pitched himself to your owner. And that your owner wasn’t interested. Only Jerry Jones would cop to that story, too. Any other person who had the opportunity to hire Bill Belichick—and didn’t—probably would bury that deep inside their soul and only tell a therapist after multiple sessions. 

Jerry Jones, on the other hand, told a reporter five days before he rolls the Clapper into Foxboro to try to out-scheme the master. The master who once availed himself in a ski checkout line.

But let’s not act like Jerry Jones doesn’t have his perfect coach. Jason Garrett is the ideal guy for Jerry Jones. When they win, Garrett gets zero credit. When they lose, he gets all the blame. And when you’re working for Jerry Jones—that quality is more important than anything else.

Jerry Jones doesn’t want the GOAT. He wants the scapegoat. And he has his guy. Sorry Cowboy Fan. But he has fire lettuce and can clap the hell out of it; and that combination is not easy to find in a head coach: in fact, I’ve never seen it before.  And once Jerruh does get around to firing him, we’ll probably never see it again.