Jose Canseco

USA Today

Jose vs. A-Rod

Joey Canseco? Or Joey Greco?!

March 11, 2019 - 1:28 pm
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Jose Canseco was trending nationwide on Twitter on last night which meant only one of two things: Either the dude went toes up which would have sucked because Jose is an American treasure. Or he did or said something so outrageous that the entire country stopped to gawk at it for a few hours. Thankfully—it was the latter. And I’m happy to report that Jose Canseco isn’t just still alive—but he’s still saying unbelievably wild things. And I’m always here for Jose going full Jose.

But some context is needed. And the context is provided by America’s most obnoxious, in-your-face power couple ever: Jennifer Lopez and her new fiancé, Alex Rodriguez. AKA: The guy J-Lo’s dating.

Turns out A-Rod never wants to lose that gloss. So over the weekend on a Bahamas trip—A-Rod popped the question and according to his Instagram account—she said yes. Congratulations to Alex Rodriguez. Not only on getting engaged—but dealing with the pressure of buying a ring for someone who has been proposed to five times already in her life. That can’t be easy. Imagine asking a salesperson for something that will impress a girl who’s been married three times and engaged four.

“Yeah, I need something that will upstage Ben Affleck and Marc Anthony. Whatta ya got?”

Now, while most of the pop culture world was celebrating the pending nuptials between an extremely talented singer and her plus one for award shows—Jose Canseco was going the opposite way. And doing what he does best: Alleging cheating. 

Because the dude who dimed on every ‘roided-up 90’s slugger in tell-all book—was the same dude putting accusations at A-Rod on his Twitter feed last night.

And it started with this tweet: “Watching World of Dance and watching J-Lo text Alex Rodriguez. Little does she know that he is cheating on her with my ex-wife Jessica. Poor girl. She has no idea who he really is.”

Joey Canseco? Or Joey Greco?!

Now, since this is Twitter and you’re only allowed 240 characters at a time—Jose was just getting started. And he chased that accusation with four more tweets just like it:

“I was there a few months back with (Jessica) when he called her on her phone. Alex Rodriguez, stop being a piece of bleep. Stop cheating on Jennifer Lopez. Alex Rodriguez, I challenge you to a boxing match or an MMA match anytime you want. I am willing to take a polygraph to prove that what I’m saying about Alex Rodriguez is 100% accurate.”

I can’t decide what part of those tweets I love the most. There’s the part where Jose claims to have been around his ex-wife when A-Rod called a few months ago. Which begs the obvious question about why he didn’t say anything back then and instead waited for a proposal and an engagement that he never knew was coming. 

There’s also the part where he challenges Rodriguez to a fight. Remember—Jose is the same dude who once got caught sending his twin brother, Ozzie, to box in place of him back in 2011. And when fans noticed a bunch of tattoos that Jose doesn’t have—the jig was up.

Then there’s the part about the polygraph. Something about a guy who was selling Bigfoot and alien excursions a month ago saying he’ll strap-up to a lie detector test is hilarious to me. 

Neither Alex Rodriguez nor Jennifer Lopez have responded to Jose Canseco’s allegations. But since this 2019 and we live in America—it’s only a matter of time before some paparazzi at TMZ rolls up on A-Rod and hooks him into a clap back. And then A-Rod can do what he did best during his MLB career and deny, deny, deny.

Now—I’m not saying anything Jose said was true or wasn’t. How the hell would I know? And it’s not like Jose Canseco is afforded anyone’s benefit-of-the-doubt. But then again, neither is A-Rod. Again—I don’t know and I don’t really don’t care. But in this case, who do you believe?? A guy who has lied and lied again on the biggest stages imaginable. Or a guy who says he can introduce you to big foot and aliens?

Hard enough to be the guy buying J-Lo her fifth engagement ring. Now, A-Rod has to fight off cheating allegations on top of it. But if there’s anyone suited for that exact fight—it’s this guy. And deep down I’m sure A-Rod doesn’t mind it. Because any attention is good attention for this dude. And I wouldn’t put it past him to have already thanked Jose for all the run on Twitter last night. 

Really, I just want A-Rod to accept Jose's invitation to fight. Cousin Yuri can be in Alex’s corner as his cut man. I could care less about what's true and what's not. Just touch gloves and figure it out in the squared circle. But don't send Ozzie in your place this time, Jose.