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K Love’s Chiclets

Revolting. Disgusting. And truly jacked up.

March 28, 2018 - 1:19 pm

The Cavs took their talents to South Beach only to get hammered by the Miami Heat 98-79. But the final score wasn’t the most shocking part of the game. Neither was the fact that 95-year old D Wade swatted LeBron into the upper deck in the second quarter

And then blocked LeBron again in the fourth quarter. What has gotten into him? He had not one, not two, not three, but four blocks in 17 minutes. When did this guy turn into Mount Mutombo?

But as crazy as that was, it wasn’t nearly as crazy and downright horrifying as what happened to Kevin Love. When a team loses by 19, sometimes it feels a little dramatic to say that they got their faces smashed in, but in Kevin Love’s case, he actually got his face smashed in.

Less than two minutes into the game, Love tried to take a charge from Miami big Jordan Mickey and he took a charge all right. Right to the chicklets. Correction, the chicklet. 

Because all 6’8, 235 pounds of Mickey went right into Love’s china and the result was horrifying. As a word of advice, look away if you’re eating or thinking about eating in the next few hours

Revolting. Disgusting. And truly jacked up. But, being the warrior that he is, Love came back into the game, but then was removed at halftime. He was initially diagnosed with a front tooth subluxation. I’ll be honest, I didn’t even know that was possible, whatever the hell it is. 

That’s the worst tooth injury I’ve seen since Kris Dunn chipped his after taking a chunk out of the court in Chicago. 

And as if that wasn’t bad enough, Love also reportedly had concussion-like symptoms. No wonder. I think I got a concussion just looking at that pic. Damn. That is truly nasty. Honestly, having your tooth sublux – is that even a word – almost looks worse than losing it. 

At least when it’s out, you can pop it back in. This looks like you either have to wiggle it back into place or wrap a string around it, tie the string to a door knob, slam the door, and yank it out, in order to set it back in. Home slice literally had a dislocated chicklet.

And it’s another in a series of bad luck moments for Love. That was his fifth game back after missing 21 with a busted hand and now he’s got some busted china, and there’s no word on whether he’ll be able to go tonight against Charlotte. 

Oh, and before I move on, let me say one more thing: I am not interested in what you think are funny reactions to this injury. That means no tweets from Kentucky or Alabama about how jealous they are of Kevin’s teeth. I don’t need to hear from famous Alaska folk and pop rock singers of the 90s. Nor do I need witty zingers like, “We don’t see anything wrong with Mr. Love’s teeth. Regards, British dentists.” It’s not funny or interesting or new or anything positive at all. There. I covered all your crappy submissions. Keep moving.