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USA Today

Lakers Fans Plan To Protest

This isn’t a bad look for the Lakers.

May 10, 2019 - 10:30 am
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To call the Los Angeles Lakers a clown show engulfed in a dumpster fire on the back of a train wreck would be an insult...to clown shows, and dumpster fires, and train wrecks everywhere.

And I don’t feel like getting on the wrong side of clown shows, and dumpster fires, and train wrecks. Not today, at least.

The Lakers are in a far worse state right now than any disaster cliché you could tag them with. Especially since they shouldn’t be. They’re the Lakers. And they have LeBron James. And instead of resembling a competent franchise, in market two, with the best player on the planet—they resemble the Knicks.

And just like with the Knicks—things have taken a sad and a pathetic turn. Specifically a sad and pathetic turn towards 11th and Figeroa just outside STAPLES Center in Downtown LA where today at noon, a fan protest has been scheduled.

The protest is being put on a guy named Charlie Rivers who posted to Reddit yesterday:

“We will be holding a protest to garner ESPN media coverage and voice our displeasure of the Lakers front office. Jeanie Buss hates bad PR. She doesn’t care about us, but she does care what the media says. Bring Laker gear, bring your own chairs, and bring water.”

Rivers then continued in the post with a list of chants he hopes to start at the protest. Three of his ideas include the wildly creative:

“Sell the team.”

“Fire Rambis.”

“No Jason Kidd.”

Somehow this protest jumped from Reddit to the mainstream media. And one of the local radio stations here in town, AM 570, ran down Charlie Rivers and asked him how many people he expects to be at the rally today in which Rivers responded confidently and proudly, “We expect 60 to 80 people.”

I think I speak for every concerned citizen of LA: Call the freaking SWAT team! Get the mayor on the blower. Barricade the streets. Strap on the tactical gear. Fire up the choppers. Grab the tear gas. Because we’ve got a situation a brewing.

60-80 people?! In the downtown area of the second biggest city in the country?! What a disturbance!

Can you imagine how rattled Jeanie Buss is going to be when a group the size of a friends-and-family-only wedding shows up outside a 950,000 square foot building?!

Now, if you think this a bad look for the Lakers and that it’s a reflection of just how far this franchise has fallen then you’re giving this alleged protest way too much credit. This is nothing more than a goofy little online petition unfortunately coming to life. More Clones donated to Irie Craig’s book publishing than the expected turnout for this Lakers protest.

This isn’t a bad look for the Lakers. It’s a bad look for the 60-80 idiots who are going to gas a Friday afternoon chanting, “Fire Rambis” to no one in particular.

The only way to truly change something you don’t like as a paying customer is to—wait for it now—stop paying! And no one dumb enough to show up for a Friday afternoon get-together outside of STAPLES is ever going to stop watching the Lakers. These are the honkiest of honks. These are the people who care a little too much. You wanna know how to protest? You don’t.

You just stop going. Stop paying. Stop buying gear. And you hope enough other people do it, too, and affect the bottom line to the point where change has to be made. 60-80 dopes outside of STAPLES Center is the farthest thing from that.

Look, I get that it’s been awhile since anyone in LA has had a reason to congregate over the Lakers. But this town used to be about flipping cars and lighting them on fire during championships. Not meeting up to shout down Jason Kidd on the corner of 11th and Fig during lunch hour. Have a little self-respect.

Too bad Jeanie Buss isn’t James Dolan. Because Dolan would walk down from his office and ban every last one of you idiots for life. (INSERT – FOR LIFE, LIFE, LIFE)

I’m not saying Laker Fan doesn’t have a reason to be upset. I’m saying that 60-80 people protesting on a Friday afternoon is the most colossal waste of time I’ve ever heard of. And these idiots are making the LeBron mural vandalizers look good.