LeBron's Diet

Who wouldn’t want desserts and French Toast all the time?

Jim Rome
February 14, 2020 - 9:46 am
LeBron James

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LeBron James had his 12th triple-double of the season on Wednesday night. I’ve said it before and I will say it again, the fact that LeBron James is playing at this level in his 17th NBA season is utterly ridiculous. The fact that he is making it seem so normal, is completely abnormal. And the fact that he makes it look so easy, people take it for granted, makes it even more insane. 

He’s played 48,000 minutes in the regular season. And then add on another 10,000 more in the playoffs, and that’s the equivalent of more than 3 more regular seasons.

And yet he’s still doing this.

And the Kobe dunk.

So how does he do it? Obviously, he takes incredible care of his body. Strength, speed, cardio, mobility, flexibility, pliability, he does it all. If you’ve seen him getting in a workout on those plastic bubbles, you know he’s focused on every detail. And a lot of it has to be about the fuel he puts in, right?

ERRRNNNNT WRONG!

Not according to Tristan Thompson. Because Joe Vardon and Jason Lloyd have a piece up where they asked teammates, rivals, friends, and more about LeBron. 

And the stories are awesome. There is one from Kyle Korver, who is an absolute cardio beast, talking about how he and LeBron were in a team relay challenge on the Versaclimber. When they finished, Korver was gasping for air on the ground, and LeBron took off down the court and dropped a windmill dunk.

Or David Griffin talking about how LeBron knew the Raptors playbook so well he used to tell Toronto Raptors players where they needed to line up on their own plays. Or Brandon Ingram talking about the Lakers pickup game in training camp where they were playing to 20 and LeBron scored all 20 for his team. 

When you do all of that, all the time, and more, you have to be using some clean burning fuel, right? Not according to Tristan Thompson: 

“He has the worst bleeping diet ever. Ask him what he eats for breakfast. He has like five French toast, drowns it in syrup with strawberries and bananas. Then he has like a four-egg omelette and then he goes and just bleeping dunks on somebody. It doesn’t make sense.”

That is maybe the greatest thing anyone has ever said about anyone. He has a four-egg omelette and then he goes and just bleeping dunks on somebody. 

And no, it does not make sense. It makes worse than no sense. It’s impossible. How is that guy playing that many minutes when he’s running on French toast, syrup, and strawberries?!? 

Forget all the MVPs, the championships, the gold medals, everything else that LeBron has accomplished. All of that pales in comparison to the fact that he’s allegedly doing that all hopped up on essentially the ihop diet. 

He completely shatters the idea that you are what you eat. Because according to Thompson, LeBron eats like Augustus Gloop, and yet I don’t recall old Gus mastering the chasedown block or windmill dunks before he fell into and drowned in that chocolate river.

Not only does he ruin the idea that you are what you eat, but he wrecks the idea that you can’t outwork a bad diet. Again, this is just one source and maybe Thompson is just cracking on LeBron and getting everyone all worked up, but from the sounds of it, he doesn’t just have a bad diet, he has the worst diet. 

Does he just go to Golden Corral all the time? This guy allegedly has roughly five percent body fat on a 100 percent sugar diet. And I could not be more impressed. Dwight Howard’s candy addiction can’t believe LeBron’s diet. And the fact that it works. 

French Toast, syrup and strawberries? All the time? How is this guy not in a permanent carb coma? Or on the verge of some diabetic amputation. 

I love French toast. But if I even see it, let alone eat it, I’ll gain five pounds and then need to nap it out for about three hours. What I’m definitely not doing is going out and dropping a triple double on an NBA team. Or sprinting on a Versaclimber. 

Not only is that not clean burning fuel, that’s dumping sugar into your gas tank. Literally. And yet he just burns RIGHT through it.

And it doesn’t stop at breakfast, according to Thompson: “He eats desserts with every meal. He’ll come with his one-week diet, vegan crap, but he literally eats like it doesn’t make sense. He’s really a specimen. He eats like bleep.”

Desserts with every meal. Desserts with every meal? That is like a six year old’s greatest dream. It’s not something that you ever actually do, though. And yet this guy is doing it. He’s treating every meal like a trip to Wonka’s chocolate factory. Or Ritt’s office?  Gerrit Ritt has the worst diet I’ve ever heard of.  Or he did, until I heard of LeBron’s.

How does this guy not look like Stanley Roberts or John “Hot Plate” Williams? That is absolutely impossible. 

I love Thompson saying that LeBron tried that “vegan crap” and then just went back to eating like bleep and it still works. 

So the natural thing would be to try to eat like LeBron. Thompson tried it. It didn’t go so well. 

“I remember one year I tried to eat like he ate and it just didn’t work out. I started gaining weight and said, “bleep this.” I mean it works for him. He loves sweets. He loves sweets. He eats desserts and French toast. It’s crazy how his body just burns it.”

Desserts and French Toast. A guy who allegedly spends a million dollar a year on development and maintenance of his body is fueling with desserts and French toast?  Gotta be kidding me.  But don’t get it twisted. Look, I’m not cracking him. I’m jealous of him. Who doesn’t love sweets? Who wouldn’t want desserts and French Toast all the time? 

Tom Brady is cutting out tomatoes and  whipping up avocado ice cream while  LeBron is pounding  French toast with syrup and strawberries, and then dunking all over everyone in the league. Of all the things I’ve ever heard about LeBron, that is the most impressive thing ever. And I’m going to be really disappointed if I find out he doesn’t have like six different, multiflavored syrup containers when it’s time to fuel up, like they do at ihop: and he better be hitting that frency toast with whipped cream, chocolate chips, hot fudge and butterscotch too. And you can call bullcrap on Tristan Thompson, but I’m going to tell you, you can believe what you want to believe and I want to believe that this all true. In fact, I DO BELIEVE that this is all true. Why? Because it’s awesome. And it makes me feel better about me: because when I’m beating myself up and living in shame over what I’m putting in my body, I still, on my worst day, know I’m doing better than LeBron, diet wise. Damn, everyone is. Except Ritt.