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Let It Ride, Red

I was all wrong about you, Ginger.

April 19, 2018 - 11:35 am

Let’s do a quick name association test. When I say, “Jason Garrett” what immediately comes to mind? 8-8 records? Clapping? Maybe the ginger lettuce. The constant debates about whether he should be fired. And is he anything more than a puppet for Jerrah. 

Now,  I’ll tell you what doesn’t come to mind – awesome motivational speeches. 

Because Jason Garrett the coach doesn’t really have a great reputation as a coach. Jerry Jones loves him, but he’s really spent his 7 ½ season being on a seat that’s gone from warm too hot to warm again. 

But apparently, that’s all about to change. Because Amazon’s latest season of “All or Nothing” is about the Dallas Cowboys and the true star of the show about the star is…Jason Garrett. 

And I know this sounds like some sort of cheesy tease. Jason Garrett, as you’ve never seen him before.!! But if the reports are true, this really is Jason Garrett as we’ve never seen him before. Hell, if it’s Jason Garrett as an interesting person, that would be something the public has never seen before. If it’s Jason Garrett with any kind of personality at all, it would be the Jason Garrett the public has never seen before. 

Don’t get me wrong. I know the guy is smart, but from a personality or presence standpoint, he’s been barely toasted bread and room temperature milk. Just a big bowl of meh. 

But based on the early reports about the series which drops next week, I’m already fired up. Here’s a quote from Jason Garret addressing the Cowboys before the start of last season: “The most successful people in life, they have an edge. They have a bleep you attitude. If you don't have an edge, you can't compete at the highest level, period. Go do something else."

Whoa! That’s like hearing Mr. Rogers drop a f-bomb. Maybe a little head’s up before you just roll out and start f-bombing cats. We now what we’re going to get when Fred Rodgers shows up, rocking that sweater. There’s an expectation. And that expectation is not for he or you to stop dropping four letter bombs. 

A bleep you attitude? That is strong. And spicy. And pretty surprising, coming from Jason Garrett. He’s pretty much the last guy I’d expect to go x-rated Dale Carnegie on us. 

Now, in fairness, JG did tip his cards when he got a little loose at a press conference back in the day.

I know coaches who can’t communicate at all, with anyone, without f-bombing them. I just didn’t think Princeton’s finest Ginger was one of em. But apparently he is. He laid into the offense after a lackluster performance against the Broncos in Week 2: “It was soft as hell. The foundation of this program is the word fight. I don’t care who we play, when we play, where we play. We’re up 100, we’re down 100. We’re gonna bleeping fight. We’re gonna fight, we’re gonna fight, we’re gonna fight, we’re gonna bleeping fight.”

Whoa! JG, slow down a little, man. Dude has been the most boring PG and G movie ever, and now he’s going R, and a hard R on everyone. I haven’t seen that kind of obscene passion from a coach since Rex Ryan was looking for something to eat. 

You talk to any legendary f-bomber and they’ll tell you, it’s not enough to have just one gear when it comes to cursing. You’ve got to have different tools in that profane toolbox. You’ve got to be able to use it in different ways and so far, we’ve seen motivational f-bombs and angry f-bombs, so the question is: does Garrett have another gear? Can he take it to another level. And the answer is, yes. 

In one moment on the sideline, Dez Bryant has just fumbled and Garrett is talking to him: “Hey, [expletive] it. [Expletive] it and go play. Pro football. Bad things happen.”

There it is; that’s what I’m saying. This has every tool in the tool box. That’s a motivational f-bomb, angry f-bomb, and now the comforting f-bomb. I’ve never been more impressed with Jason Garrett than I am right now. He just went from one of the most boring people ever to a dude I was sit down with a crush a few beers with. In fact I did once. Well. We didn’t crush beers. But we did sit down. At the same bar. A few seats away. Kyle Brandt and I did. And try to chop it up with the coach and his wife. And he was pleasant. And nice. And boring as hell. But clearly he was saving his A game for something else. Because come to find out, not only is this the most boring puppet in the world, he has crazy IT. And that it is a truck full of f bombs that he looks to unleash on the world. Boring dude. Or best dude ever? A full heel turn and I cannot wait to see this series and this dude in action.

I was all wrong about you, Ginger. Let it ride, Red.