Lev Bowling

Bedrest is key to beating the flu. So's bowling?

Jim Rome
December 10, 2019 - 12:40 pm
Leveon Bell

USA Today

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Hate to go Calendar Guy with it, but its December 10th. And you know that the means. It's Xmas Season. Whether you’re ready or not—there’s no denying that it’s already that time of year again. Flip on the TV, turn on the radio, and look outside— whatever. You know it. I know it. The season is here.

The season being flu season, of course.

Influenza. The bastard viral infection that doesn’t give a damn who you are what you do for a living. Just ask all pro athletes who have been bear-hugging garbage cans and dropping weight the involuntary way.

Last week it was the Seahawks. This week it was Jets running back, Le’Veon Bell. The big difference here being—the Seahawks showed up and balled out for their Monday night game against the Vikings, whereas Le’Veon Bell stayed home and napped it out when the Dolphins were in town on Sunday.

Bedrest is key to beating the flu. So I have no problem with it. And based on how Adam Gase has used Le’Veon Bell this season—there’s really no difference in him being in the backfield or staying home and sawing a few logs.

So Lev not only missed practice on Thursday and Friday, but he also missed the walk-through Saturday and the entire game on Sunday.

What he didn’t miss—however—was his chance to roll a 13-pound Brunswick down the lane. Because the New York Post has the exclusive snitch report that Le’Veon Bell went all Lev’Veon Bowl with it—and hit the alley between 10p and 1a on Saturday night! You heard me right, Jets Fan...

P-I-N-S. PINS! PINS! PINS!

Is there anything more Jets ever—then their 52-million running back missing two practices, a walk-through, and a game—only to be spotted in orange leather pants rolling a few rocks down the track at a New Jersey bowling alley 12 hours before a kickoff he didn’t even show up to because he had the flu?

Sam Darnold missing a month because of mono can’t believe this story. Lev Bell has the entire office thinking he’s home pulling from a bottle of Nyquil—and really he’s out at the bowl-o-rama doing his best Pete Weber impression.

Optically this is terrible. And for a guy who’s been nothing but a total pro since arriving in New York to play for a coach who didn’t want him in a system that doesn’t use him—this is a really bad misstep. Because up until now…—Le’Veon Bell has been surprisingly stable given the circumstances. The circumstances being—the Jets suck and Adam Gase refuses to give his 52-million Pro-Bowl running back the ball. But despite 14 weeks of hell, Lev Bell has been a pro’s pro.

Until Lev Bell went Lev Bowl 12 hours before a game he called out sick from.

So, yes, optically it’s terrible. But what the hell do I care about optics for with the Jets?!

Because in reality—it’s hilarious. The fact this dude went to one of the most public places ever on a Saturday night and wore orange leather pants is amazing. Dude wasn’t looking to blend in—he was looking to stand out. And he did it in Jersey just a few miles away from where the Jets train. At this point I’d be surprised if he didn’t put his name up on the board as Le’Veon Bell. Number 26. New York Jets.

I couldn’t care less what Adam Gase plans to do about this. I’m far more interested in how Lev Bowl rolls the Brunswick. Does he grab the ball from the recycler and hesitate before he runs up to the line the same way he does when he’s carrying the football? Does he roll it downhill? Or look for the grooves and spin it east-west?

If this dude bowled over a 70—then that’s more pins than yards he’s rushed for in any Jets game this season. And if you’re a fantasy owner who missed out on starting him against the Dolphins in this past week—maybe your commissioner will accept a new kind of PPR—pins per roll. Worth an ask—especially if you got bounced from the playoffs in your league.

This is a big bowling house. Old Man Ike back there is a once-a-week stone thrower who lives in the 200’s.

Frequent Jungle fill-in, Brian Webber, used to do play-by-play of college bowling.

And I’ve got takes for days on Walter Ray Williams, Earl Anthony, and Norm Duke.

So as optically terrible and unprofessional as this Le’Veon Bowl thing is—it’s also pretty hilarious. Pretty hilarious because it’s the Jets. And the Jets are even more terrible and unprofessional.

Nothing better than Lev Bowl sitting around on a Saturday night knowing he doesn’t have to go to work the next day and just saying: Eff it, dude. Let’s go bowling.

Any other team and it's worth some outrage. But with the 5-8 Jets, I'm having a hard time finding it anything other than really funny. And really on-brand.