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Matt Freaking Party

New Year? New you? More like New Year, same exact you.

May 01, 2018 - 1:08 pm

New Year. New me. That’s what Matt Harvey told us all back in February before the season started. And in case you forgot, I have the quote right here: “I’m not going to answer any questions about the last year. New Year. People make mistakes. I’m looking forward to a new season.”

And who wouldn’t be looking forward to a new season after the 2017 Harvey had? Dude posted a career high ERA and went missing from work after a Cinco-de-Drink-o bender in downtown New York. One of the worst looks ever. And getting mind-melted by Adriana Lima and Julian Edelman only spiraled this dude even further—allegedly.

So hell yes this guy wanted to turn the page. Especially since this season is a contract year. But wanting and doing are too separate things. And all Harvey has been doing in 2018 is rekindling the flames of the 2017 dumpster fire he said he was ready to put out.

ERA just barely under 6? Check.

Demoted to the bullpen before the second month of the season? Check.

Swearing at reporters and refusing to answer questions about the demotion? Check.

Driving all the way from San Diego to Los Angeles for a Beverly Hills party on a work night? Check. Please.

Page Six—a page you generally you never want to be on—just filed a report that Matt Harvey rolled up the 5 freeway during a Mets road trip last week and attended the opening of the exclusive AVRA Beverly Hills restaurant. For those that don’t know, that’s a four hour round trip by car. So either this dude was starving for a very specific meal only AVRA serves—or he’s jone’sing hard for the bender. There’s a better party and you’re not at it, ehh Matty?

Page Six also reports that Halle Berry and Cindy Crawford were at the opening. 

Here’s where things get really, really bad and embarrassing for Matt Harvey. Because Page Six has two different sources with two different quotes that would make anyone want to crawl in deep, dark hole and die.

Source 1 says Harvey was, “stumbling around. He had to sit down at one point. He must have been so desperate to party. He came up from San Diego.”

You ever hear or see something that makes you cringe for the other person? That’s that quote. And it begs the question: What’s worse: Being visibly wobbly? Or being perceived as desperate to party? Here’s to never finding out.

The next source Page Six used should go on trial for murder after this quote. I feel like an accessory just reading it. And here’s a fair warning for anyone with a weak stomach. This is graphic by nature. So I’ll give you a second to brace yourself or change the channel. Here we go. Don’t say you weren’t warned.

“Nobody knew who was Matt was.”

I repeat: “Nobody knew who Matt was.”


At this point Matt’s hoping people just go back to calling him wobbly and desperate to party. And least then they know he is. Now, when he throws the drunk “Do you know how I am card” the answer either is, no, who are you? Or of course we do. You’re some wasted, out of control tool, who can’t stand up straight, desperate to party. 

Now, it’s worth pointing out that the source who fed Harvey’s ego straight to a woodchipper and then burned the ashes also said, “He was sober.” So there’s some conflicting information. And I’m sure as hell not going to pick and choose between anonymous sources in a tabloid. I’ll just say this: What in the hell are you doing, Matt Harvey?! The only bit of fact that matters in this whole report is that you were there, on a work night, 135 miles away from your team. And the first batter you faced the very next night—you give up a homer.

New Year? New you? More like New Year, same exact you. Matt freaking Party. A disaster on and off the field. Running to parties, swearing at reporters, and hemorrhaging earned runs.

This was a supposed to be a big a year. A contract year. Instead—it’s looking like you’ll be lucky just to stay on the team. Because in case you haven’t noticed—the Mets are freaking good. And it’s no thanks to Matt Party. In fact—it’s in spite of him.

Good news, Matt. A few more incidents like this and couple more gopher balls and you should be able to party as much as you want. Just don't look an invite to any champagne showers in the Mets clubhouse this fall. Those parties are players only. And I'd hate to read any quotes for ex-teammates saying, "Nobody knew who Matt was."