Most USC Thing Ever

Remember when Urban Meyer retired at Ohio State?

Jim Rome
May 01, 2019 - 1:42 pm
Matt Leinart and Reggie Bush

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Remember when Urban Meyer retired at Ohio State? And remember how by the time the actual announcement came it was already a tired joke that he was going to eventually going to be the head coach at USC?

Yeah, well, here’s another great joke. According to Reggie Bush, he and Matt Leinart are going to try to recruit Meyer to take the USC job. The three of them will be working together this fall, but if Bush has his way, it will only be for one year. Because then he wants Meyer to move on to another gig. 

Bush told Arash Markazi of the LA Times: "We’ll definitely be recruiting [Meyer. What makes you think we won’t be recruiters? Nothing is off the table."

Where the hell do I start with that one? Let’s start with the idea that nothing is off the table. Because actually there something is off the table, Reg. You. Yourself. You’re not allowed to step foot on the USC campus, remember? – . 

The school was ordered to permanently disassociate itself from Reggie Bush. So, they erased his name and likeness from the record books, campus walls, and he’s not allowed on the sideline or practices.

And yes, that is truly bizarre and an absolutely asinine punishment that could only be the result of something the NCAA was involved in. Only the NCAA could come up with a punishment that stupid. But it did and it’s punishment that still stands. 

Bush cannot show up on USC’s campus. But he’s going to recruit a guy to coach at a school where he himself is not allowed to set foot. Perfect.

Even better is that notion that Urban Meyer retired from Ohio State so he could spend more time with his family, right? Or was it because he was so disgusted with the state of college football? Or wait, was it because of his health? Or was it because of a promise he made to a family member? And even got all cheesy with it and signed a contract pledging that he’d be at all the family picnics and bbq.’s. Hell, I don’t know. I can’t keep all his reasons straight for quitting jobs, but I’m sure it was one of those. And I’m sure it involved a hand-written pledge to his family when he did it.

But let’s take him at his word. Let’s say it was his health and it is the brain issue that he’s been dealing with for a long time, how could he have any credibility at all if he came back again?

And how could USC have any credibility at all if they brought him in? I get that he’s a hell of a coach, but USC has bounced from one scandal after another for the past decade or so. Not just as a football program, but as a school. There have been so many scandals, on and off the field that they’re impossible to keep track of at this point.

So, are you really going to bring in the guy who had one arrest after another at Florida and who was suspended for how he handled domestic abuse allegations against one of his assistants? How’s that press conference going to go?

And then there’s this: the job isn’t open. Clay Helton has the job. And yet you’ve got one of the most famous former players trying to replace him. That’s got to feel pretty awesome if you’re Clay Helton. Reggie Bush came right out and said he’s trying to replace a guy who still has a job. Nothing like having that guy come right out in April and say that he already has your hand-picked replacement. 

In fact, never mind that Bush isn’t allowed anywhere near the team or facility, he’s already fired Helton, telling Arash, "They have to win the division. This is a put-up-or-shut-up season for them, especially for Clay Helton. I’m looking to see drastic improvements. People have to be held accountable and players have to be held accountable. They have to create an environment there where players really understand the tradition of winning that came before them."

There you have it: a former player banned from the school, firing the head coach and replacing him with a scandal ridden hypocrite who says he quit for health reasons or the sport turned too scummy, despite being one of the biggest reasons he is. Great. Most USC thing ever.

And makes absolutely no sense on every level and would be embarrassing for everyone involved, which is exactly why it makes complete sense that Urban Meyer will be coaching USC in 2020. Fight on.