NFL Week 12

My team of the week are the Raiders.

Jim Rome
November 30, 2020 - 10:55 am
Derek Carr

USA Today

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Week 12 isn’t finished yet. In fact, we still have two games to go, but that’s not going to stop the Monday recap from taking place. Because that was one weird-ass weekend of football.

And that’s before I even get to the Ravens and Steelers, which was supposed to be played Thursday night, and then Sunday afternoon, and now might be Tuesday night. Maybe?

And it’s before I talk about the embarrassment that was the Denver Broncos yesterday. They’re getting their own take.

So to celebrate the weirdness, I’m doing something I rarely do – I’m starting the recap with highlights from a team that lost. How about a minute for Carolina rookie Jeremy Chinn? Because my dude had himself a minute. A minute to last a lifetime. 

Scoring twice.

That was a pretty sweet part of a not-as-sweet win for the Bills. Not as sweet, because, once again the Bills got both hands around the throat of an opponent and were unable to fully choke them out. 

But here’s something that is pretty sweet: they may have trouble finishing teams, and ultimately it may come back to bite them in the ass if they don’t figure out, but today, the Buffalo Bills are 8-3. And on a day where they didn’t break 100 passing yards until the late in the third quarter, they did find a way to win. Again. And unfortunately, the Los Angeles Chargers did what they’ve become known for doing, they found a way to lose.  Again. I really, really do like these guys but as one die hard Charger fan told me, it’s like going to a funeral every single Sunday.

Speaking of finding a way to win, it wasn’t that long ago that it felt like the Tennessee Titans season was hanging in the balance. Practically circling the drain after losing three of four games, and trailing the Ravens by double digits in the second half. Lose that game, and they’re dead on arrival. 

But they didn’t lose, they completely flipped that game, in so doing, looks like they completely flipped their season.   

Because yesterday, they went out and hammered the Indianapolis Colts in Indy. They put 45 points on the Colts, which is the most the Colts have ever given up at home. And they did it exactly the way you’d expect, with Derrick Henry as a battering ram.

The Colts were down three starters, but you think Henry gave a damn about that?  He didn’t.  He had six carries in the team’s first 10 plays, including a touchdown

That was the first of three touchdowns in the first half. Let me repeat that – Derrick Henry went into Indianapolis and smashed the Colts for three touchdowns and 140 yards in the first half. Against a tough, physical, proud defense. Question Philip Rivers all you want, but coming there weren’t any questions about that defense. Until Henry completely gashed them. Yes, I know the Colts were banged up, up front: but it’s 2020. And covid-19: everyone has huge problems. So no one really cares about whatever excuse you want to make. The Titans will get you the hands. They’re a really physical team. 

But if you think the Titans offense is just Derrick Henry and 10 other guys, you’re a dope. Because you’re clearly sleeping on AJ Brown. And you shouldn’t do that.

After running through nearly every member of the Ravens defense last week, Brown ran past just about every member of the Colts defense on his touchdown.

But Tennessee going into Indy and doing that wasn’t the most impressive performance of the weekend. Nope. That honor goes to a different team. And for the announcement of my team of the week, Alvin, I’m going to need a bed.

That’s right. My team of the week are the Raiders. You’re Las Vegas Raiders. The Raiders who beat Kansas City in Week 5 and then played KC tight, in a one-score game, last week. The same Raiders who Travis Kelce called "the best Raiders team I’ve played since I’ve been in the league."

That crew just lost to the Atlanta Falcons. Sorry, “lost” doesn’t do it justice. That crew just got absolutely humiliated by the Atlanta Falcons 43-6.

But that’ll happen. I mean, the Falcons have had a rough season, but they still have elite weapons like Julio Jones and Todd Gurley…NO THEY DIDN’T. Those two did not play and Atlanta still publicly embarrassed the Raiders.

They had five turnovers. And six points. They nearly had more turnovers than points. They definitely had more penalties than points. And some of those penalties were just downright idiotic. They had both roughing the passer and a roughing the kicker. Teams don’t usually hit the roughing daily exacta: if you had that, you got paid. 

As Derek Carr said afterwards, the Raiders “got punched in the face … and it kept happening.”  Punched in the face? That. And then you went down. And Atlanta proceeded to start stomping on your head, while you napped out in the street. 

Nate Robinson did a better job defending himself against that youtuber than the Raiders did against that ass-kicking the Falcons put on them.

It was so bad that Nathan Peterman got into the game in the fourth quarter. That is the ultimate insult. If Nathan is on the field that means you’re either up by 9 touchdowns or down by 9 touchdowns.  Hell. How many of you even knew Nate Pete was still even still in the league? Because I didn’t.  

And by the way, as bad as that was, if the Falcons could finish their drives with touchdowns instead of field goals, it would’ve been so much worse.

The only reason why the Raiders have any hope left this season, the only reason why I’m not saying they should just quit and give up on the season, and come back next year, is because of the team they play next: the New York Jets.

Because in a world of constant change, the Jets are a rock. You can count on them to be consistent. And that consistency isn’t just about consistently losing. And consistently sucking. It’s about consistently creating controversy where there doesn’t have to be any.

Like Adam Gase talking after the game about who was calling the plays – and the question was, who was calling the plays, brilliant offensive mind Adam Gase or offensive coordinator DAAW-UHL LOGGINS. Here’s Gase with the explanation.

Honestly, I can’t pick out the worst part of that answer. There’s the fact that I have never seen a head coach more awkward, more cringe and more uncomfortable answering questions than Gase, but we’ve known that for years. We’ve known that ever since he showed up at his press conference with eyes bugging out of his head.

But then there’s the fact that he seems to be actually lying to the reporters about who was calling the plays, which is a really DUMB, and pointless lie. And then having to come up with other likes to make the first one hold up. What the hell does that get you, eyes? The truth will set you free, eyes. Trying going with it once in a while. Do you really think you’re fooling anyone either inside or outside your own locker room?

One reporter says, Dowell wasn’t doing anything when the Jets had the ball the entire game. Then Gase says, that’s because he told me the three plays before the start of the drive.

And then one reporter says, but Dowell was talking to Frank Pollack, the offensive line coach, he wasn’t calling plays. And then Gase says, yeah, when we got down, I was trying to do some of the two minute stuff.

You mean, call plays? Because that sounds like you’re calling plays, which is the thing you said you weren’t doing.

Newsflash, eyes: no one really gives a damn who’s calling the plays on a team that is about to go 0-16. That’s what makes lying about it so stupid. Bad enough to lie. Even worse to lie about something that no one cares about, that doesn’t even matter. 

And speaking of lies, was there any bigger lie than the idea that Mitchell Trubisky was going to be new and improved? He looked exactly the same, only worse.

Then again, you had to know that was coming when Matt Nagy spent time last week hyping Mitchell Trubisky’s “huddle mechanics.”

"Whether it's a good play or a bad play or how it is in the huddle when he calls a play, I'm really, really impressed with the huddle mechanics. Getting the play into the huddle, calling the play, breaking, seeing the defense, making the calls, doing whatever we need to do, you just feel that. There’s a little bit of a change there."

Huddle mechanics?!? Huddle mechanics?!? What? Derek Dooley’s shower discipline didn’t want any of that?? That’s what you’re hyping your first round pick quarterback for - his huddle mechanics. THE HELL does that even mean? That he can gather guys around him and talk to them? Is that a special skill now?

Derek Dooley cracking his Tennessee Volunteers for their shower discipline can’t believe you’re hyping someone for “huddle mechanics.”

Then again, when it’s Mitchell Trubisky, what else can you hype him for?