NFL Week 13

Absolutely gutting loss for Chargers.

Jim Rome
December 02, 2019 - 10:01 am
Casey Hayward

USA Today

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Thanksgiving Weekend is an incredible weekend for sports. Four days of insanity, so by the time Monday rolls around, what happened on Thursday feels like a year ago. Like it really does feel like it’s been a year since Buffalo went into Jerry’s House and humiliated The Clapper and Jerruh, et al...

And did a college team really lose a football game because a player scored a TD, pretended to be a dog relieving itself, got flagged, and then they missed the extra point? Or was that just some wacky dream I had after falling into a deep turkey coma?  No!  Incredibly enough, I woke up and it was real.  And it really did happen.  And it was beautiful.  Shut it down, let’s go home, because it will never get better than that!!

Hope that was worth it. Although I’m guessing it wasn’t. Not when it’s a big reason you lost to your biggest rival. My man, if you’re going to go with a celebration like that, in that situation, you may as well go all in: dog urination, and then go next level with the dog dumping, and you rip one of those little green bags out of your sock like you’re cleaning up after the pooch. If you’re going to take that penalty in that situation, you better get your money’s worth. My man, Elijah Moore crawling around in the end zone and relieving himself like a dog. It’s going to be a long time before I unseen that. Good.  I hope I never unsee that. Thanks goodness the internet is in INK.

There was so much that happened over the weekend that I’m not going to be able to get to all of it. But suffice it to say, somehow, Jason Garrett’s weekend got better. Because even after that bad loss at home on national television, they’re still in first place in the NFC East because of the Miami Dolphins.

Break up the Dolphins, because that crew is breaking out plays like this.

The punter taking the snap and flipping to the kicker? I’m not sure what’s worse – Philly getting hooked by the kicker deking someone at the line of scrimmage and getting free in the end zone or the fact that Eagles coach Doug Pederson said they practiced facing trick plays all week. Obviously, they didn’t practice for that one. Honestly, that was glorious.  If I’m Eagle fan and I saw that, I’d be looking for biggest pile of horse crap imaginable for lunch. And while that was one of the worst things that happened to anyone on the field Sunday, that’s still not nearly as bad as what happened to the Jets, who somehow managed to lose to the winless Bengals. Check that. They didn’t just lose, they got hammered, 22-6. Cincy was marching to pristine and flawless 0-16 and then the Jets blew that up. There was a time when I’d have been pissed about that, pissed that a  New York ruined nearly a year’s worth of hard work, for a team that was working a dream season and on its way to running the table in reverse. But strangely I’m not. In fact, I’m impressed. 

Actually, I’m not here to clown and then kill the Jets. I’m here to hype them. I mean, Find me a more impressive feat than the Jets losing to BOTH the Dolphins and Bengals. In the same season. And if the Jets managed to lose to two of the worst teams ever, what’s that make them?? What’s better than that? Nothing. Except maybe this.  And I hate to make everything about the Cowboys, but what does it say that the Jets beat the Cowboys and lost to the Dolphins and Bengals?

Or that they beat the Giants and lost to the Dolphins and Bengals? Well, it’s not exactly a ringing endorsement of the Giants. But everyone already knew that. Because they’re living in that same world of suck that the Dolphins and Bengals are. 

The Giants are not good. In fact, they’re terrible. They just got thrashed by the Packers in their own house, which was their eighth straight loss. And the loudest cheers yesterday were chants of “Go Pack Go”

But if you’re looking to come in here and take a run at Daniel Jones for his three interceptions and clown him for being a turnover machine, head coach Pat Shurmur says you’ve got that all wrong. 

“Well the turnovers today were the interceptions, right? The first one was against two-man. He just tried to fit it in. Today they weren’t fumbles, right? And then the one he just overthrew. And then the last one there he threw a nine-ball to (Darius) Slayton, and I thought (Slayton) was in a position to make the catch. So these were throws, they weren’t fumbles.”

See? Ball security is still a major issue for this dude: but while he’s still turning it, apparently, according to his coach he’s turning it over in LESS OFFENSIVE way.  I guess what Schmur is trying to get us to believe is that there are bad turnovers and good turnovers, and these are good turnovers. Oh oh, just like there are good nicknames and bad nicknames and Danny Dimes is one of the worst. Bro, save yourself the time of trademarking that one: believe me when I’ll tell you, unless you learn to take care of the rock, no one anywhere, will be a single dime off your terrible nickname. 

And I forget where we are in the Daniel Jones Loop – because there was the initial reaction that he was a terrible pick, then he beat Tampa Bay and everyone thought he was a Joe Montana, Brett Favre, and John Elway’s rolled into one…, and demanded apologies from the Daniel Jones Critics.

So now is the Danny Dimes Fan Club apologizing to the Daniel Jones Critics for demanding they apologize in the first place? 

And as long as apologies are being doled out, are Raider fans apologizing for telling everyone a few weeks back that they were back? Remember when they had that three game winning streak and were talking junk about not just making the playoffs, but winning the division? Yeah… Neither do I.

Because after they beat Cincinnati to get to 6-4, they were smashed by the Jets – everything comes back to the Jets – 34-3 and got murdered by KC 40-9. Two crucial games and they lost by a combined score of 74-12.

It gets worse. They were up 3-0 on the Jets and then gave up 34 straight to the Jets and 31 straight to KC. 65 unanswered points over two games. That’s deplorable so is the fact that Oakland’s receivers had a total of 8 receiving yards in the first three quarters yesterday. November and December football is championship football and the Raiders have vanished. So if any of you actually did apologize to the Raiders, feel free to go and take it back.  I know I am. 

And then there are the Chargers. I don’t even have words. I really don’t. They brought out the same script yesterday in Denver: fall behind by 14 and then come storming back in dramatic fashion. They managed to stay alive with plays from Rivers on to Mike Williams on 4th and 11 from their own 24. And then get into position to tie the game.

The Money Badger hits that with 14 seconds left and we’re going to overtime. No, we’re not. To quote that MMA ref: Errr, ‘scuse me, my bad.

Because Denver did this.

That is absolutely gutting. Charger fans, I don’t know what to tell you. Like I said. No words. Even though you’ve seen this movie before, it’s brutal every time the ending comes. Because each time, it’s new and different. But the pain is so familiar. Because only the Chargers could lose in that fashion. And they do it just about every single time they lose. About the only thing I can do to help you now, is change the subject.

So I will, to the 49ers and Ravens. That was supposed to be the game of the week and it was. Two great teams, in horrible conditions, battling their asses off. It wasn’t always a pretty game, but it was awesome: two legit heavyweights, standing in the middle of the ring, trading haymakers. Two teams that know who they are and what they can do, and they let it rip, like going for it on fourth down repeatedly.

And for two teams that don’t see each other very often, there was some juice there. Deebo Samuel appearing to mock Lamar Jackson’s TD dance, Mark Andrews mocking Nick Bosa with a flag plant that was awesome.

And of course it came down to Justin Tucker, and of course....  Justin Tucker won it. 

Baltimore won, but that game proved two things:

The Ravens are for real.

The 49ers are for real.

I’m not sure why I have to say that, but for some of you, that’s still a thing. The 49ers, who are banged up, went across the country and went toe-to-toe with them in horrible conditions. So if you had doubts about the Niners, those should be put to bed now. As I said last week, this team can beat anyone in the league.

And damn near beat the best team in the league, in their house. That’s right, I said it. The Ravens are the best team in the league. They’ve now beaten Seattle, New England, Houston, LA, and San Francisco during this run. What more could you possibly want?

And even when Lamar Jackson doesn’t play his best game, because of the weather and the opponent, they still found a way to win. Let me say right now – sign me up for that in the Super Bowl. Run it back again. I will happily take that.