NFL Week 9

Show me your lightning bolt!

Jim Rome
November 09, 2020 - 9:54 am
Mark Davis

USA Today

Categories: 

Charger fans, this is going to hurt me way more than it hurts you. Actually, it’s going to hurt just about everyone equally, because that was a brutal loss yesterday. Just brutal. And I know you have experience with brutal losses, but it really does feel like yesterday’s 31-30 loss to the Broncos might have been the worst.

That’s how I started last week’s show. And I could run back the exact same start and just change 31-30 loss to the Broncos to 31-26 loss to the Raiders and it still works. And this loss might really have been worse than last week. In fact, I know it is.  The only question now is, is it their worst loss EVER? 

Because this time, you thought you’d won it. No, you didn’t think you’d won, you knew you’d won when Donald Parham Jr caught that touchdown. 

And the Chargers lose their bleep! Understandably. They finally get over. A. Walk-off win. And that felt soooo damn good. Except, it had to be reviewed. And when it was reviewed, one camera angle showed the ball was out when he hit the ground. Overturned. Incomplete pass. Game over. Raiders win. Raiders rule, chargers suck, good night now!!! 

And then the Raiders went crazy. Walk-off win. And the Chargers get kicked in the nads, yet again.   They have six losses this season by a combined 24 points. 

Somewhere, some old guy, with a push broom stache is crying his eyes out. SHOW ME YOUR LIGHTNING BOLT!!! …

The Chargers are amazing. Seriously, these guys are incredible. They find new and inventive ways to lose every single week, with each L more gut-wrenching than the one before it. Just think it would be impossible to raise the bar, they do it again.  Mathematically speaking, this is impossible. I could do a whole take, I could do a whole show; I do three straight hours on how utterly brutal this is, but I’ll spare you, Charger fans and I’ll move on. Because it’s not like it’s not going to happen again. Because it will. And when it does, maybe I’ll give it the three hour treatment then. We’ll jump off that bridge as soon as the Chargers burn it. Because you know they will. Just know this Charger fan, as bad as it is, it could still be worse. It can always be worse. Just ask Bears fans. 

Because while getting your heart our ripped right out of your chest on a weekly basis hurts like hell, it’s still not as painful as having to watch that Bears offense on a weekly basis. Don’t be confused by those empty, bullcrap points and yards they tacked on late to make it look like they battled Tennessee in a 24-17 loss. They didn’t. The Bears offense was garbage again yesterday. Just like it always is. Garbage. Has ever been a bigger lie in life than the so-called 5-1 Bears. And remember how enraged Bears fans were when folks were calling them the worst 5-1 team ever. Well, they were. In fact, they were even worse than that. The second biggest lie in life is, you are what your. Record says you are. My ass. The hell you are. Because their record said they were 5-1. 

Going into yesterday’s game against the Titans, the Bears had the worst third-down offense in the league.

And they lived down to that rep by going 2 for 15 on third downs yesterday. That is a commitment to garbage. At one point, they had 25 yards on 15 plays. And that’s with alleged offensive genius Matt Nagy calling the shots. Nick Foles was under constant pressure. Again.

You are what your record says you are. Bullcrap. Matt Nagy is an offensive mastermind.  Bullcrap. And all the while, they are wasting one of the league’s best defensive units and asking them to continue to play at this level for very much longer is asking too much. 

At the other end of the spectrum, you have the Carolina Panthers, who everyone expected would be terrible and yet they are actually pretty damn fun to watch. Believe this, at 3-6, they’re a much better watch than the bears are at 5-4. I actually pay decent money to watch the panthers work: but you couldn’t pay me enough money to sit through another bears game.  Don’t believe me, check

Out this 4th and 14 play from Teddy Bridgewater against Kansas City.

That was some Walter Payton at the goal line bleep. Teddy wasn’t looking to slide on that play, he was looking to take off and make sure he got to the sticks. And he did.

This has been a rough year for injuries. So it was cool to see Christian McCaffrey back out there yesterday after coming back from an ankle injury and it sucks to see the report that he might miss more time with a shoulder injury.

I’d already seen too much when Dak Prescott was injured earlier this year, so one play from yesterday that I never want to see again was the Kyle Allen injury for Washington. If you want to see it, go find it yourself.

You know it’s bad when Giant Jabril Peppers, the player who accidentally leg-whipped Allen, causing the injury is saying stuff like this: “We all have a pact in this league. Guys have come from different circumstances, guys have worked hard to get here, so you never want to see a guy go down like that. I prayed for him. I apologized to him. I definitely didn’t intend for that to happen. I’m trying to play hard and make a play for my team. I wish him a speedy recovery.”

Alex Smith came into the game and played really well, but as he said “A ton of emotions going on for me right then in the sense that I knew Kyle was down and I knew it was pretty serious. You snap into grabbing your helmet and getting ready to roll, and all of a sudden you see them bring out the air cast and the cart — and I know that routine well.”

It’s a horrible routine and here’s hoping that Allen recovers swiftly and safely.

Because it’s so raw. And the struggle is so real. But you me, I’m here to keep things light.  I’m here to keep things upbeat and positive. There’s enough anger and frustration in this world; I know you come to me to get away from that: and I’m pride myself in being the guy who can provide that happiness at such a challenging time: so allow me to do what I do best; spread some good cheer. This will pick you up: the Dallas Cowboys lost. Again.  And this time they came from head to do it, against the league’s last unbeaten team. 

Orlando Apollo legend Garrett Gilbert got the start at quarterback for the Cowboys. And What a moment that was. Garrett Gilbert now joining the exclusive club of guys like Dandy Don Meredith, Roger Staubach, Troy Aikman, and Ben DiNucci.

And Gilbert was just about as good as you’d expect him to be, which is to say, not that good. But the for a minute there, the Cowboys were mildly competitive. In fact, they had a double-digit lead over the undefeated Pittsburgh Steelers.

And they brought out all the tricks.

And then in the second half, the Cowboys went Cowboy’ed down, just like you knew they would; just like they always do: – with a brutal Gilbert interception in the end zone.

And knowing the game was on the line, they did what they do best, self-destruct, implode, melt-down, commit stupid penalty after stupid penalty late in the game, and put it on a silver platter for the opposing team. Same as they ever were. But don’t sweat it, Cowboy fan, the big boy is on it: Mike McCarthy said,

 “Today is a reflection on what we are capable of doing. I think we’re definitely taking steps in the right direction the last two weeks as far as the understanding and speed of what we are trying to get done. We have a bye week. We’ll spend time self-scouting it all, both individually for the players and all three phases. We’ll get loaded up because it’s time. We’ve got to get going. Everyone knows what our record is, so we need to get going and we need to start stacking wins.”

I love a head coach of a 2-7 team saying “we’ll get loaded up because it’s time. We’ve got to get going.” Love that urgency when you’re 2-7. Hey Michael, the time to “get loaded up” and the time to “get going” was before Week 1, not before you take the field for Week 11. Guys, we’re 2-7 on the year, gentleman to quote the legendary Vince Lombardi, NOW WE BEGIN THE BIG PUSH. Good idea, Michael, if not, you’ll be back in that barn, breaking tape with your equally unemployed assistants looking to con another owner into giving you another shot. Or even worse, sitting in that little toll booth on the bridge letting people through like back in the day. 

Now, when you looked at yesterday’s schedule, there was a game to circle. A quarterback battle that you’d been waiting for. I’m not taking about old dudes, Tom v. Drew, which was a huge let down. I’m talking about, the two young studs Tua v. Kyler.

And even though nothing does, that lived up to the hype; that was a blast. 

I say it on a weekly basis, and I’ll reset it again right now: for my money, pound for pound, the single most electric player in the league right now, is Kyler Murray: check out my dude throwing lasers:

Absolutely effortless. And awesome to watch.

And there was Tua strutting his stuff.

It was a classic back and forth game and Arizona had a chance to tie it with just under two minutes left, and their kick fell short.

Oof. That stings. That is a rough loss for the Cardinals and a damn impressive win for the Dolphins who are now 5-3. Look the hell out. Break up the Miami Dolphins. Finally, we have a Belichick protégé who can coach, in Brian Flores. And he has them way the hell ahead of schedule and he has the Texans draft picks that they still from one of those other belichcick protégés, Bill O’Brien: and Flores did that yesterday without five of his assistant so the future is extreme bright for the fish.