Brock Osweiler's Retirement


Jim Rome
October 17, 2019 - 10:07 am
Brock Osweiler

USA Today


Brock Osweiler announced his retirement from the NFL yesterday and if your reaction was: I thought he’d already left, that’s fair.

And if your reaction was: you can’t retire from something where you aren’t wanted, that’s a little harsh, but fair.

And if your reaction is to call this show and announce that you’re pulling a Brock Osweiler and retiring the NFL today as well, then that is over the line.

But yes...

Brock Osweiler made it official yesterday. The former Bronco turned former Texan turned never Brown turned former Bronco turned former Dolphin told 9 News in Denver that he was "extremely grateful for the time I did receive playing in the National Football League."

He went on: "The experiences I did have, people I did meet, relationships I did make -- I'm not going to dwell on the things that didn't happen in my career. Being a kid from Kalispell, Montana, playing for the Denver Broncos, winning a Super Bowl, having the opportunity to sign a second contract -- when you look back on it, I couldn't be more appreciative. It was great."

It was great. Better yes...He was great.

Yeah, I said it. Because if you are looking for me to come here and clown the guy or make fun of him, you’re barking up the wrong tree. Because I do not come to bury him today, I come to praise him.

And if you’re looking for some tired way of re-setting a B-52s song, try again. Not today.

The man who gave us Brocktober last year has left us in Brocktober of this year. Who can forget the time he threw for nearly 400 yards against the Bears last year? I know I can’t. And won’t.

And I will say this right now – the Broncos do not win Super Bowl 50 without Brock Osweiler. Yeah, I said that too. Not only do they not win it, they don’t even get there.

John Elway better hit his knees every night and give thanks for Brock Osweiler, because without the big dude, the Broncos don’t have that ring and Elway is under way more pressure than he is right now.

John Elway should say thank you to John Elway and to Brock Osweiler.

And Elway isn’t the only Hall of Fame quarterback who should be thanking Brock Osweiler. Because without B.O, Peyton Manning doesn’t get that second ring and that weird as hell meeting on the field with that pizza guy.

How different is Manning viewed now if he only has one ring? How much did Brock Osweiler change Peyton’s life? How much did he change all our lives?

Because it’s easy to forget, but there was a stretch in that season where Peyton Manning could not do jack. His arm had turned to pizza dough and his production was hideous. He was dragging a wet noodle out onto the field every week and tossing wounded ducks left and right.

That’s when Brock Osweiler saved the day and the season. He tagged in for Manning and went 5-2 down the stretch, securing the best record in the AFC and homefield advantage for the Broncos.

When Manning could barely throw the ball at all, Osweiler came in and saved their season.

And what did you people do to Brock? Did you thank him? No, you clowned him. You made fun of how tall and awkward he was, you clowned him for some of his odd interview answers, and for the fact that he signed with the Texans, lasted one year, was traded to the Browns, cut by the Browns, and then paid by the Browns to play for the Broncos, before finally being Ryan Tannehill’s backup in Miami.

And some of you dopes had the audacity to kill him for that huge contract he signed after that season. Right, because that’s hilarious.

Ha ha! You parlayed a very nice run of seven starts into a 72 million contract! What a dumbass! If you see a one hundred dollar bill lying in the street, do you just keep walking? Hell no. But you expected this guy to see a 72 million in the street and walk right on by. C’mon, man! Not only is he not a dumbass, not only is he not a failure, he’s a legend. We should all be so lucky as to turn a couple good months into a massive contract. Right place at the right time and definitely the right dude. 

If that’s failing, if that’s losing, we should all be that big a loser. Is there anyone listening right now, who would trade places with that lumberjack.  So it turns out he probably wasn’t an NFL caliber starting quarterback, who cares? You know who else isn’t really an NFL caliber starting quarterback? Everyone who John Elway has brought into Denver since Brock left.

Timing is everything and my guy’s timing was perfect. And announcing his retirement in Brocktober, the month he created, is just another example.

And he’s going out with a hell of a lot more than he came in with: "I have my health. I have the ring. There's a lot of things I still wanted to accomplish. And I have a lot more left in the tank. But, hey, sometimes you don't get that opportunity. And given that, it's all good."

It sure as hell is all good, Brock. It sure as hell is.

One Super Bowl ring. Tens of millions of dollars. And retired before 30. Not only is that not failing, that is the American Dream. 

Brock won't say it, so I’ll say it for him: To Peyton Manning and John Elway, you're welcome. And to all the haters, scoreboard, look up at it.