Cheetos Ice Cream Sundae

A new low for the Knicks.

Jim Rome
October 24, 2019 - 12:56 pm
James Dolan

USA Today

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You know which team I didn’t mention in that rundown of the NBA? The New York Knicks. Because I’m not sure they’re an NBA team anymore.

Sure, they played last night. Sort of. I mean they scored 15 points in the first quarter against the Spurs, so does that really count as playing?

No, the reason why they are getting their own take today has nothing to do with what they did on the floor. It almost never is.  The product on the floor is like the 50th thing that comes to mind when you think about the Knicks.  And when you finally do get around to that, it’s never good.  But no, this isn’t about the product on the floor: it’s about a product at their concession stands.

According to reports, the Knicks will be serving a Cheetos ice cream sundae this year.  Yeah, I said it…a Cheetos ice cream sundae, this year.

A Cheetos ice cream sundae? A Cheetos ice cream sundae.

Ice cream. With Cheetos.

The hell is this???  The dope who came up with this???  This dope???

I’ll be real.  I like Cheetos.  More than a little actually.   I like ice cream.  A lot. I do not want Cheetos in my ice cream. This is not a chocolate and peanut butter situation where.

This addition is a full-blown subtraction.

Listen, stories about the wacky, dangerous, and idiotic things that are served at sporting events are extremely tired and extremely played. It’s usually just a desperate pub grab by a minor league team that’s just trying to get some run by throwing together a few awful things and then get every wacky morning zoo show around the country to talk about them.

You know how that goes, one person on the show says: “Hey, did you hear about this one?” And the next thing you know, the Mud Hens or the Rumble Ponies have gotten themselves a lot of free pub and maybe moved some merch.

And you know what….I’m not even going to tie this one back to the doofus that owns the team. (insert him again). That’s too easy. This idiotic move can’t be all on him. There are too many other idiots who would be involved in approving it.

So – this better be a prank or a PR stunt. And even if it is, it’s still way below them. And they’re at the bottom already.

These are the New York Knicks. I repeat: the New York Knicks. Not the Omaha Storm Chasers or the Hartford Yard Goats.

I’ll be real – the New York Knicks have always been a wildly overrated team and organization. I know, Knicks fans, it hurts to hear that, but you know it’s true.

Your quote unquote glory days aren’t that glorious. You have two titles to your name. It’s one more than the Kings. It’s one less than the Heat and they didn’t even exist when Patrick Ewing was drafted.

You haven’t won an NBA title since 1973. We’re closing in on fifty years without you winning a ring. So the idea that you are some traditional power is a figment of your imagination. It’s a joke.  And a lie.

But even having said that, even having said that the Knicks are extremely overrated and get way too much credit for having achieved so very little, I’m still pissed about this.

Again, this better be a joke. Or a prank. Because if it’s real, it’s a disgrace. You are bringing a Cheetos sundae into Madison Square Garden? The Mecca of Basketball?

The best part about this team is that arena and now they are disgracing it with a Cheetos ice cream sundae. Get the hell out of here with that junk. That’s minor league.  So bush league. 

And let’s not confuse this disaster with the other Knicks disasters.

You want to go out and win 17 games last year while trading a potential franchise player to clear space for two elite free agents only to watch those two elite free agents sign with the team in Brooklyn? That’s fine. You do you.

You want to sign Jerome James to a 6-year 30 million dollar deal back in the day? Fine.

You want to overpay for an aging Allan Houston for sentimental reasons? Be my guest.

You want to pay an enormous sum of money to a broken down Joakim Noah? That’s your choice.

But don’t you dare bring Cheetos ice cream sundae into Madison Square Garden.

You are the New York Knicks, not the Augusta Green Jackets or the Bowling Green Hot Rods, now act like it. Maybe being the Knicks doesn't mean anything to you anymore, but it should. 

And if it doesn't, and you aren't going to respect yourselves, at least respect the building.

You don’t need stunts at the concession stand to get people into the building arena. Or maybe you do.

And if you do, at least have the self-respect not to reach for those stunts. What’s next? Having Tonya Harding serving them up?

You’re the New York Knicks and maybe that doesn’t mean as much in reality as it does in your heads, but get your heads out of your asses and end this charade.

You deserve to go 0-82.