Thorbjorn's Liquored Up Flight

Way to keep it together.

Jim Rome
August 22, 2019 - 11:25 am
Thorbjorn Olesen

USA Today

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It’s the start of the season finale of the FedEx Cup Playoffs at East Lake—so let’s talk golf. More specifically—let’s talk about a golfer. A golfer named Thorbjorn Olesen who is not in Atlanta today but instead in line to face a judge on a couple of different criminal charges he racked up last month flying home from Nashville to London.

In case you missed the story from late July, Olesen was flying home from the St. Jude Classic in Tennessee all the way back to London. Long flight. So Olesen did what many people do when logging that kind of airtime—and he went for the sauce. Nothing wrong with that. There’s a reason it’s there.

But apparently Olesen hit the mini bottles way too hard. And by way too hard—I do mean he got blasted drunk on the overseas flight and starting verbally harassing other passengers.

Who hasn’t done that, right? Who hasn’t gotten so liquored up on the flight that they start going in on a bunch of other people minding their own business? Thorbjorn Olesen has!

Uhh...yeah, steward...Give me a double Henny and watch me light up the guy over in row 4.

Look, I don’t want to talk people on a flight at all. Drinking or dead sober. I’m good. Apparently Olesen wanted to verbally harass a few. And here’s how bad it got.

Freaking Ian “The Visor” Poulter had to calm him down. That’s right. Ian Poulter was on this flight. Because of course Ian Poulter was on this flight. You know you’re having a really bad day when The Visor is reeling you back in.

According to reports, Poults got Olesen to chill for a second and when he did—Poults knocked out and went to sleep. Big mistake, Poults. Can't turn a blind eye to a drunk comrade.

Because once The Visor shut it down, that’s when Olesen went right back to being a sloppy, belligerent mess and allegedly sexually assaulted a female passenger.

Unfortunately this isn’t like most situations where you could 86 the d-bag and toss him out. It’s a freaking airplane. Everyone is trapped with this drunken goon.

And just when things couldn’t get any worse—they did. Because Olesen unzipped his pants, and urinated all over the aisle. Too bad Harry Ford wasn’t there to headbutt this guy right out of the back of the bird. 

The guy was punching the pilot short of hitting for the liquored up on a plane cycle.

Luckily it never got to that. But Olesen did stagger off the plane to officers waiting on the jet way to arrest him. Which they did. And yesterday, three weeks after actually releasing a snake on plane— Olesen is facing a grip of charges. 

Right now the 65th ranked stick in the world is looking at sexual assault and being drunk on an aircraft. He has pleaded not guilty. Good luck with that, buddy.

Oh and the European Tour has suspended him.

Nice flight, bro. Way to keep it together. Way to harass everyone, spray in the aisle, make Ian Poulter look good, get arrested, get charged, and then get suspended.

Next time instead of taking the Henny—take the freaking Ambien instead. For all of our sake’s