Klay Thompson

USA Today

The Pacific Ocean Is Undefeated

Sex. Father Time. And the Pacific Ocean.

April 22, 2019 - 9:48 am
Categories: 

Last night the Warriors rolled into STAPLES Center, took a sock of nickels to the Clippers, and put the series in a rear-naked choke hold. I wasn’t worried when they gagged that 31-point lead in Game 2 and I’m sure as hell not worried now that they have 3 chances to close out an 8 seed. No disrespect to the Clippers. They’re not your typical JUST HAPPY TO BE HERE, 8 seed. They’re gritty as hell and have punched out of their weight class all season long. But their road ends here. And whatever’s left in this series is nothing more than a formality.

AND not that anyone was sweating it, but through the first three games of the series, Klay Thompson had not exactly been Klay Thompson. Not terrible. Far from it, in fact: 12 points in Game 1. He had 17 in Game 2. And 12 in Game 3. Not horrible, but not what he was used to. So what do you do if you’re Klay Thompson and you aren’t having the production you’re used to? Maybe get up a few more shots? Watch some more film? Spend a little more time warming up?

Nope. Go play BEACH volleyball and then jump in the ocean.

Nothing like a salt water bath in the Pacific to get you going. And it worked. Gotta love a guy who ALLEGEDLY, couldn’t hit the ocean the first three games just straight jumping into it and coming back out of it as himself again. Unless you’re the Clippers. Because the dude just used your backyard pool to get right.

And right about NOW, Laker Fan is twisting the message and interpreting it as a sign that Klay is coming home…that he’s coming to LA next year. You know, because LA has beaches you can swim in in April, and San Francisco doesn’t. And if Klay is finding his center and resetting his mind, his body, and his soul just off the Santa Monica Pier—it must mean he’s coming to the Lakers next year---right, Laker Fan? Trust me…; no one connects the imaginary dots like Laker Fan. And that’s exactly what they’re doing right now. And because he’s coming home, right. Laker fan? Yeah, just like Paul George was a lock to come home and ball out for the Lakers. But I’m not here to wreck your buzz Laker fan: tell yourself anything long enough, and it’s true. Take Orenthal; he literally convinced himself he’s never killed anyone. 

The best part of the whole story, though,  is that when Klay came back to the team hotel after going for a dunk—Steph Curry took one look at Klay and just knew he was about to go off: “The Pacific Ocean is undefeated.”

Add that to the list; Sex. Father Time. And the Pacific Ocean. The three undisputed, untied, undefeated champions in the history of the world

Klay knew better than to aggravate or test the pacific. He just respectfully harnessed its power and then unleashed its rage on the Clippers. And now the Dubs are headed back to Oracle for a close out game.

Oh and one more thing about the Warriors in case you need a reminder: – yeah, Klay was on fire, but he wasn’t even the leading scorer. He had 32, Kevin Durant had 33. That’s what you’re talking about when you’re talking about the Warriors. A guy can break out with 32 and be the focus of the game, but there’s another Hall of Famer and legend who had even more points.

So if you’re going to beat them, you have to play your best game and hope they a number of them play their worst games. And if Klay Thompson is anywhere near an ocean, a lake, a pond, or even a large puddle, look the hell out. Because you’re not beating these guys.