Tom Brady

USA Today

Pretty Grim Win

Is it possible that Sony Michel is the second most important person on the Patriots offense?

October 30, 2018 - 10:05 am

One of the important things to keep in mind is that the NFL season is a long season. You don’t want to rush to any conclusions about a team after a few weeks. If you did, you’d have been planning a Super Bowl parade for the Miami Dolphins and burying the New England Patriots. And some of you were. 

But now that we’re eight games into the season, you can start to draw some conclusions. And one of those conclusions is that the Buffalo Bills are not very good. In fact, they’re horrible. Great tradition. Strong fanbase. Proud defense. Truly terrible offense. Epically bad. 

The final score was 25-6 Patriots, but the Bills are so bad that they scored six points at home in primetime and it almost seemed like a solid performance. 

They’re so bad that clowning Nathan Peterman isn’t even fun anymore.

They’re so bad that they were starting Derek Anderson at quarterback. And Derek Anderson’s last highlight was this incredible postgame exchange after he was busted for laughing during a blowout loss to the 49ers.


That was eight years and a lot of teams ago. And yet the more things change, the more they stay the same because there Derek Anderson was last night, getting embarrassed on Monday Night Football in front of everybody. And it was fine. Time is a flat circle.

Except last night wasn’t really an embarrassment. Or surprising. That’s where the Bills are this season. That’s who they are. And what they do. They score 6 points at home, in prime time with the rest of their peers and the nation watching. Hell, that was actually an improvement over the 5 points they hung on the Colts; so they’re pretty much like everyone else walking around this planet; they’re just trying to get a little bit better every single day. But starting where they’re starting means a little bit better every day, still means you’re horrible TODAY. 

Especially offensively, where they’re averaging less than 11 points per game. You heard me. 11 points per game. From an NFL team. No wonder they broke out the Wildcat and a flea flicker in the first series. It’s like they just pulled a member of the Bills Mafia from the stands, handed him a play sheet, and said, you do this. 

You know it’s a horrible offensive performance when the best throw of the night comes from the stands and involves a sex toy. 

And let me take a moment for that right now, because here’s something I never thought I’d have to say, but apparently I do: Bills Mafia, you know I love you. I love your passion. I love your pride. I love how you support your team no matter what.

But the lobbing that rubba donga may have been funny the first time you did it, but not anymore. It’s played. It’s whack. It’s tired. Time to come up with something new. Time to. Re-invent the brand... because now it’s just lame.

Okay, back to the game…

And sure, Pats fans you won the game. And while I wouldn’t expect you to give that one back, I wouldn’t be celebrating that win either. You got over, but that was pretty grim. 

And it raises a question…

Is it possible that Sony Michel is the second most important person on the Patriots offense? Because there was no Michel last night and there was almost no offense last night. Tom Brady’s crew bogged down time and time again. A team loaded with Brady, Gronk, Julian Edelman, and Josh Gordon couldn’t find the end zone without Sony Michel. 

Without Michel, they don’t look like a Super Bowl winning offense. Hell, they don’t even look like a playoff game winning offense without him. 

They were so desperate at running back they were going classic Belichick and lining up receivers at running back. The Pats are reportedly looking for another wide receiver on the trade market, but maybe you figure out the running back spot too. Because as much talent as there is on offense, if Michel isn’t there, the Patriots offense looks a lot like the Bills offense. 

Oh, but Bills fans, I’m not here to hate; in fact, I’m’ here to help. And as horrible as you are, still have twice as many wins as the Giants do. So you have that going for you.  Which is nice. If the Bills are known for one thing: throwing sex toys on field and getting abused by the Patriots and they’re still better than the Giants, what the hell are the Giants known for???