Put That Coffee Down, Kawhi

Coffee is for Lakers.

Jim Rome
July 09, 2019 - 10:55 am
Kawhi Leonard and Paul George

USA Today


Kawhi Anthony Leonard is coming home to SoCal. As a Clipper. Not as a Laker. And Laker Fan took that news last Friday exactly as you’d expect. They hated it. And they were shocked by it. Because part of the fabric and DNA that makes up Laker Fan is being totally wasted drunk on their own sense of entitlement. And they’re not about to take this snub lying down. Remember this is the same fan base that repeatedly vandalized a LeBron mural after he got to town and then staged a seven person protest because the front office didn’t do more to help him last year. They are—to put it mildly—a confused bunch.

But maybe the height of arrogance, entitlement, and confusion is coming from a coffee chain in Los Angeles who took to social media yesterday to issue a ban of two new potential customers.

Alfred Coffee—and their eight LA-area locations—issued this joint statement on Instagram yesterday:

“We reserve the right to refuse service to Kawhi Leonard, Paul George, and anyone else affiliated with the Clippers organization.”

Boom. Slow roasted. 

In other words: Put that coffee down, Kawhi. Coffee is for Lakers. 

I pride myself in knowing and seeing everything—especially in my own backyard—but I think I speak for everyone when I say: The hell is Alfred Coffee? Seriously. I’ve never heard of Alfred Coffee and I live here and slug down more joe than anyone from Oxnard to San Diego.  Again….the….hell….is….Alfred…coffee???

Do any other relatively unknown small businesses who sell a widely accessible product want to ban any potential customers today?

Getting banned from Alfred Coffee in town that has Starbucks, Coffee Bean, Peet’s, Dunkin, Groundwork, and Intelligencia is hilarious. Like—what are Kawhi and PG gonna do for a java fix if Alfred Coffee won’t let them through the door? Never mind you can get coffee inside of almost every building with an electrical outlet. What’s next—is one of these hipster alkaline water stores gonna ban them from H2O?

My favorite response to the ban is a Laker fan who commented, “I have no idea who are you, but thanks for doing this!”

That says it all doesn’t it?

Obviously this is nothing more than a not-so-clever promotion for the business. Because it made news and now I’m giving Alfred Coffee a bunch of free run. But I’m also calling major b.s. Because there’s no way if Kawhi and/or Paul George walked into an Alfred Coffee right now that they wouldn’t get served. And beyond getting served they’d probably getting comped and asked for a picture and an autograph. And that picture and autograph would go straight up on the wall.

This whole thing is a big, piping hot cup of lame worthy of a drain pour. It’s right up there with the seven dorks who shouted the Rambis family down outside of STAPLES a few months ago.

I really hope someone asks Kawhi about this ban from some coffee shop he’s never heard of so he can go on record with this perfect response.