Ravens 34 Cowboys 17

Dallas Freaking Cowboys. Worst team in the NFC.

Jim Rome
December 09, 2020 - 9:43 am
Lamar Jackson

USA Today

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At times this year, the Baltimore Ravens have been a shell of their former selves. And I’m not talking about that bizarre Wednesday day game they played last week with Bob Griffin as their quarterback. I’m talking about the entire season.

Sure, they’ve been wearing Ravens gear, but they haven’t looked like the Ravens. They haven’t had that toughness, that nastiness, that physicality on both sides of the ball. They haven’t been dominating games the way they have in the past.

In other words, the Ravens haven’t been the Ravens.

And then last night, they GOUGED DALLAS for 294 yards in their 34-17 win over the pathetic Cowboys. You see Lamar Jackson back on the field and the offense rushing for nearly 294 yards and you think, the Ravens are back.

But not me. I need to see that against an actual NFL team before I’m ready to say the Ravens are back. Credit to them, they took care of business. But last night wasn’t about what the Ravens did, it was about what the Cowboys couldn’t do…which is, play the game of football.

Holy crap. That was embarrassing for Dallas. Or it should be. It’s not about the fact that they got blown out, again. And it’s not about the fact that they are 3-9 on the season. And have the worst record in the NFC. Or that they have the second-worst point differential in the league. Sidebar. You know why they have the worst record in the NFC? Because they are the worst team in the NFC. You know why they are the worst team in the NFC.  Because they have the worst defense in the NFC. Actually, that’s not fair; they have possibly the worst defense ever. And if you don’t agree, either you haven’t been watching or you don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. But I do. And I saw plays like this:

 

Forget the fact the opposing quarterback just ran right down the middle of the field untouched, nobody even came close to touching him.

He had barely crossed the 20 yard line before he started celebrating. And even that felt late. He could’ve started before he even got the snap.

He could’ve taken the snap, gone high stepping through the line of scrimmage and done the Nestea plunge into the end zone. And the Cowboys still wouldn’t have gotten to him.

I’d say the Cowboys didn’t show up last night, but here’s the sad part: they did.

Those were the Cowboys. They did actually try. That’s actually who they are. Actually how bad and how embarrassing they are. They were doing their best out there and that’s what their best looks like. It looks like they somehow getting out to a 10-7 lead early in the second quarter and then getting blasted 27-7 the rest of the way.

And again, it’s not like they were out there against some juggernaut. They were playing a Ravens team that has been struggling on the field and battling covid off it. Lamar Jackson was playing in his first game back from Covid and yet Dallas still looked like garbage

I mean, defensively, was that the first any of them have ever actually played football.  Because it sure as hell looked like it to me. Then again, that’ll happen when your first year head coach, brings in one of his cronies to run the defense, when he hasn’t been dee coordinator in the league since 2014. Brilliant move, Mike McCarthy. But I’m glad you do it, because one of my favorite things to do is watch guys playing in Mike Nolan’s scheme, if in fact, he has one at at all…one of my favorite things to do is watch them running all over the field, and trying to figure out what the hell they’re trying to do: other than taking terrible angles and running to get out of position instead of into it.

And on the off-chance they were in position, it’s not like they were going to wrap anyone up. As DeMarcus Lawrence said: “I’d say the most frustrating part is just missed tackles. I feel like the defense played solid because we controlled as much as we could. It’s just, certain plays we got out of whack and that’s when they had a good opportunity and they scored on it.”

If by certain plays, you mean pretty much every play then yes, I would agree with you, DeMarcus, certain plays, ya’ll did get out of whack. 

Remember back in October when one player told Jane Slater that the Cowboys coaching staff is “totally unprepared. They don’t teach. They don’t have any sense of adjusting on the fly.” Do you remember that? And do you remember when another told her “they just aren’t good at their jobs.”

Well, they haven’t gotten any better since then. In fact, they’re worse. Sure, giving up 294 yards on the ground to Baltimore isn’t as bad as giving up 307 to the Browns back in Week 4. But it’s not much of an improvement. They’re still totally unprepared. They still don’t teach...  They still don’t have any sense of adjusting on the fly.  And they still just aren’t good at their jobs. 

They’ve lost six of seven. And Jerry Jones’ sleepover buddy, Mike McCarthy is now 14-25-1 in his last 40 games. I’m no math wizard, but I’m pretty sure that’s terrible. At least Jason Garrett could guarantee you eight wins and eight losses a year.

Remember when Mike McCarthy started smashing watermelons and that got the team fired up? What other great motivational stunts do you have? What do you smash now, Mike? How about the panic button. 

And let’s not let the offense slide either. I know the defense has taken a lot of heat, but the offense is just flat out bland and boring. And then when presented with a miracle, something that actually does work, like Ezekiel Elliott running with some success last night, they just stop doing it; for no reason at all. I know they don’t have Dak, but they also don’t have a prayer of putting points on the board either.

Their kicker missed three field goals. Not that it matters. I’m just pointing out that they sucked in all three phases. 

And the person who had the most miserable night of all was Cowboys legend Troy Aikman who had to spend three hours watching Dallas get stomped. Troy Aikman is a competitor, he’s very proud. How pissed and humiliated must he have been watching this once proud organization, the one that bled and went to battle for, get punked so badly, in front of a national audience? And know that it’s going to just keep right on happening.

And if you want to pick a low point, it would be somewhere around the moment when JK Dobbins walked into the end zone with just over two minutes left. But it’s not horrible defense on the play that’s the worst part, it’s what Ravens tackle Orlando Brown told the cameras after.

Pretty much the very thing James big head Kelly texted at the same exact time: easy bleeping money, for anyone had the Ravens and laid the points. 

And it was at that moment that I thought Aikman was going to go Lamar Thomas on everyone. He sounded like he was about to go down the elevator to get in that thing.

“I think there are a lot of guys who, I don’t know, have to take a hard look at themselves and ask what their effort is like. Just that last play alone, I would question some of that.”

And he wasn’t done. He had more to say after the kickoff: “They’ve been run over all year. I’ll tell you, what would be hard as a professional is when an opponent is yelling, ‘Easy Money!’ And it has been. I don’t know. I just don’t know where this organization, where they go. There are so many things that have to be addressed this offseason.”

And if you watched to the end of the game, there is a word that probably popped into your head: quit. As in the Cowboys quit. I’m not sure if I’d go quite that far. I don’t know if I’d say they quit. I’m not saying it because that is the single worst thing you can say about a player and a team. And if you say it, you better have proof.

But I’m also not saying it because I’m not sure anyone would notice if they did. This crew is so terrible I’m not sure you can tell the difference between the Cowboys trying and the Cowboys quitting. I know this: they’re the worst team in the NFC. And even though the league is set up to create parity, that’s something that should never ever be said about the Dallas freaking Cowboys. Worst team in the NFC. And that’s not lava: or some bullcrap hot take: that’s a straight fact.  Look in the mirror, Jerruh and tell me what you see. If you’re being honest, you’ll see the owner of the worst team in the NFC. And answer one more question for me: exactly how does that feel, bubba.