Robert Kraft

USA Today

Remember Bob Kraft?

Get. Your. Popcorn. Ready.

March 21, 2019 - 11:39 am

Hey! Remember Bob Kraft? He’d really like you to not remember him, but do you remember him? It’s funny how when he and the Patriots were winning Super Bowls, which was only a few weeks ago, he was everywhere. Showing up in his special sneakers and living the life.

Then he got busted for solicitation in a strip mall and suddenly, he doesn’t want any attention.  He couldn’t get enough of you looking at him and talking about him. And now he’s just wants you forget about him. And whatever you do, don’t look at him. Or that video of him getting sexed up that strip mall spa. And he and some other defendants are reportedly filing a motion to keep that the video evidence from getting out.

Reading from the TMZ report: “Kraft's attorneys -- and attorneys for the other suspects -- filed jointly Wednesday morning to get a protective order ... Which would prevent law enforcement from releasing any evidence gathered in the investigation. That includes the hidden camera footage from inside Orchids of Asia Spa in Jupiter, FL.

As we reported, cops placed cameras inside the spa and say they have video of Kraft making 2 visits to the spa. Cops say it includes footage of 2 women "manipulating his genitals."

And it’s at this point that I’m done. What a horrific image that is. It’s so horrific that I’m thinking of signing on to support Kraft’s argument that this video should never get out. Just reading that phrase is awful, I can’t imagine seeing it.  There’s no one not named Kris Jenner or Tommy Lee who want a sex tape going public. Least of all—a 77 year-old rich and famous man who owns the most successful sports team on planet earth right now. Dude is a public figure. A leader. A head of a company. Of course he doesn’t want that tape to go public. Who would?  Point is—this is a wildly embarrassing piece of video even for a John Doe. Now imagine being Bob Kraft. Imagine knowing a large part of this country is going to give into their twisted curiosity and watch you secretly taped at a massage parlor.

Once that gets out to the public there is no unringing that bell. You can just go ahead and assume that every person you pass for the rest of your time on earth has watched the tape. Because even if they haven’t—you’re just going to think they have. And that’s a horrible, horrible way to live.

Oh, and there’s more. Because the embarrassment and disgrace for Kraft doesn’t end there. According to TMZ and the Wall Street Journal, earlier this week Kraft was offered a plea deal. Okay, that sounds normal.

But this is one of those plea deals that would reportedly require that he admit that if the case went to trial, he would’ve been found guilty. And that part of the punishment would include, according to TMZ, “completing a course about prostitution and 100 hours of community service. He would also have to submit to an STD test.”

I have said before and I will say again, I don’t know if Kraft is innocent or guilty. In this country, you are supposed to be presumed innocent, so let’s just go with that for now.

And if you are innocent, you never want your name to be associated with a strip mall sex worker bust.

And you never want your name to be associated with the phrase “manipulating his genitals”

And you never want your name to be associated with a court-mandated STD test.

That is the triple crown of bad PR. And a source allegedly close to Bob told ESPN he’s not taking that plea deal: "That's not going to happen” and said the 77-year-old would rather fight the charges in court than admit to a crime.”

Well, okay. I’m not really sure where that’s going. I’m going to go ahead and guess this is just legal posturing because if there’s video evidence of the incident or incidents, and you are fighting to keep that video suppressed, exactly what charges are you fighting?

Is this just a matter of negotiating the terms or is the 77-year-old man charged with strip mall solicitation really going to fight this all the way? And if so, is that the fight you really want to be making?

According to ESPN, “Kraft is said to be especially concerned about having his name connected to accusations of sex trafficking.”

Uh, okay. The best way to never have your name connected to accusations of sex trafficking is to not visit sex workers in a strip mall. If you were to write a book on “How to Avoid Having Your Name Connected to Sex Trafficking” that would be somewhere in the first few chapters.

And yes, nobody in this case has been charged with human trafficking at this point. And both of the women who allegedly provided services to Bob have valid driver’s licenses and were licensed by the State of Florida to provide massage services. The issue is that they were providing illegal services.  

So, at this point, as it relates to Bob, this isn’t about sex trafficking, this is about sex workers in a strip mall.

The faster you sort this out, the faster it goes away. The longer you fight it, the longer we have to hear phrases like “manipulating his genitals” and worse. Please, Bob, sort this out.

But this story isn’t going away any time soon. Not with the owners meetings coming up. For the first time ever, I cannot wait for the owners meetings. Get. Your. Popcorn. Ready.