TB43's TB Intro Conference Call

Same as he ever was.

Jim Rome
March 25, 2020 - 9:55 am
Tom Brady

USA Today

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The Tom Brady Free Agency Ordeal is now over. Yesterday marked the end of a series of sequels that nobody wanted in the first place and yet somehow, they just keep coming out. Kind of like Fast and Furious movies.

The early days of the Tom Brady Instagram likes and the corny Super Bowl commercial seem so long ago. And yet that was only the beginning. Because there were all those other sequels and spinoffs that came after it.

Going to basketball games with Julian Edelman and face-timing Mike Vrabel. Julian Edelman selling t-shirts about the saga. The desperate attempt to float the rumor about the 49ers.

The meeting with Bob Kraft. The Instagram announcement that he was leaving New England. The delay in the announcement of signing with Tampa. Signing with Tampa. The legendary moment where he changed the course of history by asking for his new teammates’ phone numbers. 

And it was all building up to yesterday. The grand finale. The Climax The introductory press conference. The presser to end all pressers. 

Well, not exactly a press conference, but a teleconference. And man, did ever LIVE DOWN to expectations.  

If you were hoping that being liberated from New England and the Patriot Way was going to bring a new and interesting Tom Brady, you were begging. Because he was not showing up and looking to entertain or enlighten anyone on any topic yesterday. If you were holding out hope that Tommy was going to show even the slightest bit of personality or talk crap, even a little about Bobby and Billy, there was no way that was going to happen.You can get the dude out of New England, but you cannot take the New England out of the dude. He may be a Buc now, but there was no way he was going to abandon the Patriot Way. My man, Bruce Arians may well cut off his sleeves, rock a hoodie and start mumbling about snap face, and insta chat, because ol TB 43 is the same as he ever was. 

And by same as he ever was, I mean, there were no bold predictions, no personal insight, no revealing answers, hell, not even one remotely interesting reveal. But if you wanted to hear someone just talk without saying anything at all, then this was the teleconference for you. 

Just check his first few remarks: “All right guys, thank you very much. I appreciate you taking the time today. This is an exciting moment for me in my life, entering something that’s obviously very unique to me, as it’s the first time it’s happened in 20 years. I’m kind of taking it day-by-day.”

Fourth sentence in and we already have our first cliché. Just taking it day-by-day. At the end of the day, we’re all just taking it day by day. One day at a time.  Just looking to win the day.

Early on, he was asked what gave him the confidence that Tampa Bay was the right fit. That could be a really nice set-up for him to hype the Bucs organization and their fans by talking about all the things that he loved about them and the opportunity he saw with them. Instead, Tom he threw wet blanket on that soft ball:

“I don’t want to get into every process to the decision I was making at the time, but there were a lot of things that really were intriguing to me about the organization – the players, and the coaches and the willingness of everyone to try to accomplish what the goal of playing football is, which is to win. I’m going to try to do everything I can in my position and in what I am responsible for to make it happen. I’ve got to trust that everyone else is doing the exact same thing. That part is no different from what I’ve experienced in 20 years of my own role.”

I love how he starts that answer with “I don’t want to get into every process” of the decision and then proceeds to get into exactly no parts of the decision. I don’t want to bore you with the details, so let me bore you and insult you but not telling you a damn thing: but all by saying, it’s not of your damn business, why I picked Tampa Bay. Never mind, that you made it all of our damn business when you were running around, leaking info, dropping horrible bits on social media in an attempt to bolster your market and get the Pats attention. But now that you actually have a gig, you’ve got nothing to say; now it’s none of our damn business. Oh, ok. 

Remember how I kept teasing this whole thing and making sure that I could get as many people interested as possible, yeah, well, now that I’ve got your attention, I have absolutely nothing interesting to say.

Then he was asked by Sam Farmer about the attractiveness of Bruce Arians and “no risk it, no biscuit” approach and the fact that he’s willing to put the game on the shoulders of his quarterback.

Again, another good question. Another opportunity to hype your new head coach and get everyone fired up about how he sees himself working with one of the great qb gurus in Arians and a future head coach in Byron Leftwich.

You could do that. Or you could do what Tom Brady did.

“I’ve obviously paid attention to him and his offense for a long time. Everybody has somewhat different styles and philosophies on how to call things and so forth. Football, to me, is about throwing the ball to the guy that is open. If he is open deep, that is where you throw it and if he’s open short, you throw it there. If he is open outside, you throw it there. If they are open inside, that’s where you throw it.”

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Shut it down, let’s go home!!! He said it! He went there! Now there’s some insight. There’s some Intel. Now we all know why he’s the GOAT. Dude is just up there spewing trade secrets. He’s looking to quote. Throw to the guy who’s open. 

Thanks for that, Goat. Thanks for letting us all in; And that was before he got into the tired angle that he has one ball and he has to do the right thing with it.

He was tossed an alley-oop and instead of throwing it down for an easy dunk, he caught the ball, landed and dribbled it out of bounds. 

Like I’ve said ever since this guy figured out how to use his phone, and fire up his social media accounts: he was helluva lot cooler and a helluva lot more interesting before we knew anything about him. A helluva more interesting before he opened his mouth. 

Don’t’ get it twisted…, winning the press conference is a wildly overrated thing. Most introductory press conferences are entirely forgettable, but most people at least make an effort. They do something to connect with a new fan base or fire people up or just be somewhat interesting.  He’s not here for any of you.  Not now, but he sure as hell was before he had a gig, when he needed you.

This dude was not going to say a damn thing about anything at all. And especially not about what Bob Kraft said about him and the way Brady left the Patriots:

“I’m not responsible for how other people will say certain things. I think Mr. Kraft has been a great influence in my life and I’m so grateful for two decades [with New England]. I referenced that the other day. It’s been an amazing thing for my family and I’m sure when I’m done playing I’ll look back and have a chance to reevaluate my entire career, but at the same time I’m excited for this opportunity that I have.”

Fine, but aren’t you disappointed they’d make more of an effort to keep you?  And that’s the one where he finally came to life.  That’s the one where he finally let it rip.  No he didn’t (insert sound). 

“No. I have a great deal of respect for – there’s nobody who’s a bigger fan of the New England Patriots than me. I have nothing but total respect and love. I’m so grateful to Mr. Kraft and the organization and Coach [Bill] Belichick and all the coaches and obviously all my teammates. It’s been a lot of days responding to a lot of incredible text messages from my teammates, from former teammates, from a lot of great people I got to meet over the years. I have so many great relationships that will be maintained and I think that’s the greatest gift that football has brought me is the relationships that I’ve had with so many of the people I’ve worked with.”

Wow, he did it. He practically went with something like the real wins were the friends we made along the way.

At this point, I have to bail. There’s more to that teleconference. There are more clichés. There are more non-answers and more ramblings. But I’ve had my fill. The only good thing about yesterday’s teleconference is that it’s over. And that this whole ordeal is finally over. And if your take is, you don’t care what this guy has to say, only what he does on the field, then you’re in luck. Because he doesn’t have jack to say about anything at all. Same as he ever was.