The Bald Eagle Destroys Wayland

Telling an athlete to just dribble is a reason to go.

Jim Rome
June 03, 2020 - 9:21 am
Alex Caruso

USA Today

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If you haven’t watched a second of the NBA this year, you might not know that Alex Caruso goes hard. And if you don’t know that, that’s on you. I have said it before and I will say it again, I know he looks like he should be working at a Staples, instead of dominating Staples, but those who know, know.

And we know that the Carushow is prime time viewing. It’s must-see TV. The Bald Eagle is a legend and if you come at him, you better be perfect, because he will absolutely clown you.

And it turns out that’s true on the court and on Twitter.

Before I continue, as I said earlier this week, the notion of “stick to sports” or “shut up and dribble” was always a hideous and terrible argument designed to limit athletes and telling them that they’re only good for one thing – playing a sport.

So if there are two rules in life, two things that you can take to the bank every time it’s this:

1.     Alex Caruso is a legend

2.     Telling an athlete to just dribble is a reason to go. 

Knowing that, let’s check out Twitter.

Caruso, under the handle @acfresh21, retweeted an article from the Associated Press about the bishop of the Episcopal Diocese of Washington criticizing Donald Trump for staging a visit to St. John’s Church near the White House.

And Caruso added this comment: No amount of staged PR photos can hide who this man is... Ego, zero empathy, & inability to lead... The perfect storm

That is a spicy take. James Dolan and the Knicks are looking to avoid saying anything about racism and the Bald Eagle stepped between the ropes and is throwing haymakers.

And as you’d expect, that didn’t go down well with everyone on Twitter.

Someone with the screen name of Wayland Smith responded with: “Just dribble”

To which Caruso responded: Been playing mostly off ball this season, I’m good Wayland

SHUT IT DOWN! LET’S GO HOME!

If tweet was a video, it would be this.

Or this

Or this.

You didn’t know he had that in his bag, did you Wayland? You saw a tweet from a basketball player and you didn’t like what the player had to say about your guy, so you thought you’d take a run at him and put him in his place.

Except Caruso put you in your place. Alex Caruso just rolled up Wayland Smith in a carpet, put the carpet in a giant burlap sack, filled the sack with bricks, and tossed it over a bridge.

My favorite part of Caruso’s response is the “Wayland” at the end. I haven’t heard someone’s first name used as an insult like that since Allen Iverson went full first name on Phil Jasner of the Daily News.

Way-land. 

Damn, Alex, think of this man’s family! Alex Caruso just treated Wayland Smith like a helpless defender in the lane. He attacked. He elevated. And he brought the thunder. That is why my guy has a mural in LA. That is why he is the people’s champ. That is why you can buy official Carushow gear online.

Normally, I would say that it’s never a good idea for a pro athlete to get into with some rando on Twitter, but Caruso got into it and ended it.

And Wayland Smith wasn’t the only one to try his luck. Someone with the screen name “USA first and greatest” responded to Caruso’s original tweet with:

I think he is leading pretty damn well. Alex you a probably just protecting your NBA career. I don’t think you were raised this way back in CS. Does your dad agree?

Man that is one wild word salad. Caruso is tweeting this to protect his NBA career? He already as an NBA career. He’s an established player. He doesn’t need to tweet things to stay in the league. He’s a star. And it’s amazing to me that you would be so cynical as to say that he’s tweeting that to “protect” his NBA career. Like it wouldn’t even cross your mind to think that he might actually believe it.  

Caruso saw that tweet and responded: I was raised to not hate, I was raised with love, I was raised to treat everyone as you would want to be treated... & My dad is DAMN proud of me

Honestly, “USA First and Greatest” you’re lucky you got off easy there. Alex Caruso is a man of peace. Because when you bring up is family and what his dad thinks, that absolutely is a reason to go.  You are asking to get dunked on. But Caruso played it cool, like the understanding, emphatic merciful king that he is. 

And honestly, it felt good to run those clips of Caruso back. Because it is a reminder that when the NBA returns, it’s not just LeBron and Giannis who are coming back, it means the Carushow will be back on the air. Alex Caruso will be at Disney World making defenders look Goofy. Heeyyoooo! And I cannot wait.

He’s not looking to start anything, but will finish everything. So you better try one else.  Unless you’re looking to get clowned and humiliated. Because exactly what’s going to happen if you step to the icon that is Alex Caruso.