The Boar Hunter's Not Talking To The Media

It was you who lit 30 million dollars on fire, Yo.

Jim Rome
February 18, 2020 - 11:49 am
Yoenis Cespedes

USA Today

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There’s an old saying in baseball that usually accompanies the start of position players reporting to camp. You’ve heard it before; Hope springs eternal. Everyone is 0-0. Everyone has a chance. Everyone is happy. 

Except this year. This year everyone is pissed. All that flowery, new beginning crap is 100% thorns and 0% rose. Guys aren’t showing up with a smile. They’re showing up with a scowl and they’re ready to find a mic and rip the Astros apart. And every fan living outside the 7-1-3 is right behind them with their own pitchfork and torch. So it’s been really hard to look ahead to the 2020 season when Baseball is stuck in the ditch of 2017 and bleeding out.   

Speaking of ditches and living in the past—guess who’s back with the Mets? The Boar Hunter—Yoenis Cespedes! You remember Yo, right? The former All-Star, , who stepped in a hole on his ranch in Florida while freeing a wild boar, exploded his ankle, missed all of 2019, and voided 30 million dollars of his contract? Yes—that Yoenis Cespedes. The same guy who hasn’t played a full season since 2015 and hasn’t played more than 81 games since 2016. If availability is your ability, this dude is barely able. 

That guy showed up to camp yesterday. And by all accounts he looked great. And the media better get used to going off of their eyes with this guy and not their ears because he made it clear that whatever duct-tape is holding him together—is also going over his mouth the reason of the season.

Because he told reporters he’s not talking to them. “Not today, not tomorrow, not at all this year.”

And when one journo followed up with why not—Cespedes replied, “Because I don’t want to.”

Right. Why answer questions about being a failed zookeeper when you don’t have to? Why relive the horrors of tragically losing a showdown with a boar in the middle of a season when you don’t want to?

I see you working, Yo. In times like these you gotta place that anger and disdain somewhere. So why not the media? Yes, it was you who was down on your ranch rehabbing two busted heels. And yes it was you who decided that would be a good time to go check the boar traps. And yes it was you who lit 30 million dollars on fire by refusing to stay off your feet during your paid time away to rest up and get better. But why own that and take responsibility with the people who write the stories when you can just put it on them… and tell them to jog on. For an entire season. Which you did yesterday. 

I’ll say this; it beats the alternative in that clubhouse. Last year Jason Vargas tried to swing on a reporter and was heralded by Mickey Callaway as the second coming of Billy Martin. So maybe Yoenis Cespedes pleading the fifth is a blessing in disguise to everyone with a pen and a notepad who still wants their jaw intact after a Q&A session. 

Or maybe it’s just a really weak and soft move—to avoid a few questions about jacking yourself up in the most jackwagon way. Maybe you sit down, spew a few answers about the past being the past, and let everyone read about your new, refocused energy on getting the Mets back to October. You may have even gotten some credit for coming correct, owning it and being accountable for it. You might have even gotten some credit as someone who has learned from their past. But that’s not happening. Because owning it was just too just hard. Instead, it’s just another regrettable Mets headline where another star player is ducking any kind of accountability. 

Probably best not to pick fights you can’t win; and yo’s not winning a fight with the media. Especially if he can’t stay on the field; and he hasn’t been able to: so, If you're gonna go the route of letting your game do the talking--then you better ball the hell out. Because a guy who isn't speaking and isn't producing is a guy who's gonna get wrecked by the tabs. Tabs gonna tab.

You gotta love this team. For as bad as last season was, this offseason isn't much better. The failed sale to Steve Cohen, the A-Rod as the new buyer rumors, and now the Cesepdes vow of silence. 

I long for the simpler times of Mr. Met flipping the customers off. And getting caught.  And this young superfan lighting the manager on fire: