The Giants Just Destroyed The Dream

Thanks. Thanks for nothing.

Jim Rome
December 10, 2019 - 9:23 am
Zach Ertz

USA Today


There was a time when Giants-Eagles on Monday Night was a good thing. Actually, a GREAT thing. Something you’d look forward to... It was something to schedule your day and even your week around.  But, Last night was not that night.

The 2-10 Giants vs. The 5-7 Eagles after a monsoon didn’t offer anyone, anything. That was nothing to get hyped about. Unless you’re an Eagle fan, there really was no reason to watch that game. Or think about it. Nor if you’re a Giants fan: hell, if you’re a Giants fan, the only reason to watch was to see if your guys could extend their losing streak to 9 games and preserve their chance of getting Ohio State stud, Chase Young. Then, suddenly, you know who came off the bench and started throwing touchdowns. 

Damn, who’s the new guy? He looks all right. Wait a minute. The new guy is the same as the old guy: it’s freaking Eli Manning! And you know what. I’ll be real. It felt pretty good to see old man Eli out there: because he looked better than he has in a long time: dude was actually out there, slinging it! 

That old man was dropping dimes. No pun intended. Don’t sue me Danny! But damn, Eli Manning to Darius Slayton was unstoppable. There’s scheme to stop that: no one has anything to combat THAT. Especially, the sad sack Eagles. That led to a field goal.

Vintage Eli Manning. And that was the start of a great story. The double champ comes off the bench, lights it up, and give the Giants one final memory of him. Going into Philly and absolutely punking the rival Eagles, on Monday night, when Eli had long ago been left for dead. Left for Peyt, Arch, and Coop to come clean out his locker and bring him in home. But not before Eli stabs Philly in heart and goes out in one last blaze of glory: and going into halftime up 17-3, that’s exactly how it looked. 

Then the Giants remembered they were the Giants, and promptly back out of the locker room and choked the game away. I’d love to know what Pat Shurmur told his team at halftime. But it must have been something along the lines of, “I don’t know who the hell you all think you are. Or what the hell you all think you’re doing. But you can go ahead and stop doing it right now. This is not who we are! This is not what we do! I don’t even recognize you people anymore! Now trust the bleeping process. And let’s get back to playing Giants football!! And that’s exactly what they did. Don’t tell me Shurmur can’t make adjustments; because he took a team playing pretty well in the first half and adjusted them into the sorry crew of ballers that they really are. 

You know Shurmur went to the offense and said, “You’re gouging them; you’ve already lit em for 225 yards. Enough of that. You go for even 50 more yards in the second half, I’ll have a boot in your ass.

And as for you, Darius Slayton: who the hell do you think you are: Amani Toomer?  Plax? Victor Cruz: what do you say you dial it back hero: stop making plays; stop making it about yourself. And make sure you drop a crucial third down pass late in the fourth quarter.

And Defense – y’all actually looked like you knew what you were doing in the first half, in other words this is not who we are: this is not how we practice, this is not how we play: you’re giving America the wrong freaking impression. Stop doing everything right and go back to getting it all wrong: go back to being confused, and out position. Refuse to stop Boston Scott whenever he has the ball. Forget your assignments and definitely make sure you leave Philadelphia’s most dangerous weapon wide open when it matters most.

Got that? All right. Everyone. Bring it in. Choke on three. One, two, three, choke!

And that’s exactly what the Giants did. They came out in the second half and let Philadelphia right back into it. The Giants saw an Eagles team that was on a three-game losing streak, had just played a horrible half, was losing guys to injury left and right, and thought, damn, this is getting away from us: we’re taking our eyes off the prize; we have a few dudes going rogue on us; and trying. And executing; we need to pull together, right now, man the hell down, and find a way to lose to this team!

And they did just that.

The Eagles scored late in the third quarter to make it 17-10 and then with less than two minutes left, Carson Wentz found Zach Ertz.

And just so we’re clear – respect, I guess, for the Eagles and how they battled. They did go into the game with three healthy receivers and then lost two of them. They were so banged up and beaten up that Ertz was playing wide receiver and 40-year-old quarterback Josh McCown was getting ready to play receiver.

Wentz said that they had to were down so many guys on offense, he was seeing “routes I’ve never even read before in those situations.” Like, hey you, whoever you are, just get open: and hey you homeslice, run to that light post over there: the ball will be there when you turn to look for it. 

Fact is, it didn’t matter who lined up where for the Eagles, the Giants were going to find a way to give them that game: that’s who they are and that’s what they do: and that’s not me talking, that’s their supposed once in a lifetime, generational back Saquon Barkley: “We’re a team that finds a way to lose a lot of games.” And he continued: “We find ways to lose games. We got to find a way to turn it to the other side and find a way to win games. When that is going to happen, I have no idea.’’

Me netiher, big dude. Me neither. But I know this: The Giants had to really want to lose that game in order to actually lose that game. And they did. And there was no greater demonstration of finding a way to lose than refusing to cover Zach Ertz in overtime.

Ballgame. Thanks for coming. Thanks for wasting three hours of my life that I will never, ever get back.

How does that happen? Seriously. Answer me that. Because that’s a serious question:  How does that happen? Zach Ertz is a very large man. He’s listed at 6’5, 250. He is very good at the sport of football. He’s a two-time Pro Bowler. He’s the guy who scored the game-tying touchdown. He’s pretty much the only viable target Carson Wentz had left hand yet somehow, in overtime, on the most important play of the game, there isn’t a Giants player within ten yards of him.

If there was any player you definitely wanted to cover on that play, it was Zach Ertz. And yet he is completely wide ass open. That’s how you know you’re committed to losing.

That is how you lose nine straight games to tie a franchise record. And that is why head coach Pat Shurmur was asked if he thought he’d still be coaching and would have a chance to go for the record and his response was: "Yeah, I do. But I just have to wait and see.”

Wow. Not exactly Rod Marinell’s shovel and pick speech, now is it?  In other words ,Shurmur’s shovel is dull and is will is the opposite of outstanding. 

And if I sound angry about this, if it sounds like it’s personal, it’s because it is I am. And it is. No it has nothing to do with some whack Hollywood, slash redemption story for Eli Manning. I don’t care about that. Y’all can waste your time arguing about whether or not a quarterback with a lifetime record of below .500 is a hall of famer or not (he’s not). I have much important fish to fry: of course I’m pissed. And here’s why.

The Giants just destroyed the dream. My dream. One that should be yours as well. They ruined my dream of a 6-10 division champ. They took that from me. I don’t ask for much in life. I try to do the right things. I try to do a good show. And if anything positive comes my way because of that, it’s great. I try not to get attached to outcomes.

But I’ll be honest: a 6-10 division champ was something I wanted. I wanted it badly. Who needs a mediocre team with a mediocre record…. In the playoffs? No one.  Now…who wants a bad team with a truly hideous record to win their division, raise a division banner, and hosting a playoff game? Freaking everyone!

Is that really too much to ask? Apparently so. Apparently holding onto a 14 point lead for 30 minutes was just too much for the Giants. Apparently covering very large men who are the only possible targets for passes is too much. Apparently tackling Boston Scott, a former practice squad guy, just wasn’t in the cards. And I guess picking up first downs on offense was just too much of a hassle. 

If you clowns want to go out there and lose every game, that’s fine. Be my guest. But when you have the chance to make history by paving the way for a 6-10 division champ, you better not blow a double digit lead in the second half. Because when you do that, you don’t just let yourselves down. You let me down. And frankly, when you’re as bad as you are, it’s no longer about you: it’s about ME. 

Because of that hideous choke job in the second half and overtime, the Eagles got their sixth win. Now the best we can do is a 7-9 division champion. And I don’t even want to think about an 8-8 division champ. When you’ve had the dream of a 6-10 division champ for as long as I have and then you get it ripped, 7-9 just doesn’t feel that good. And 8-8 makes me sick. I hope you’re Happy MEN: Because you just ruined everything. NOT JUST FOR YOURSELVES, BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY FOR THE REST OF US.  But that’s what happens, when you’re selfish, and don’t do your job. If it sounds like I’m pissed, it’s because I am. Thanks. Thanks for nothing.