US Women’s Soccer Team Parade

A celebration for the ages.

Jim Rome
July 11, 2019 - 9:44 am
US Women's Soccer

USA Today

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The Wednesday after the MLB All-Star Game is traditionally the quietest day in sports.  Traditionally. Generally. Usually.  Definitely. But not this year. And if you don’t believe that it’s because you weren’t near a television. Or Instagram. And you definitely weren’t in New York City.

Because that’s where the US women’s soccer team had a tickertape parade through the Canyon of Heroes to celebrate their World Cup win and continued their absolutely epic rager.

I’ve seen plenty of teams win a title and celebrate a victory. It usually involves a bunch of champagne, maybe a few cigars and a parade. Recently, some teams have mixed in a trip to Vegas as well. But nothing compares to this. Nothing. Now, if you know me. You know I’m all about the Beautiful game. Always have been, always will be. And love everything about it. But I’m not sure I’ve ever seen anything better than this, when it comes to the sport. I mean, it’s awesome.

They won the title in France on Sunday with a 2-0 victory over the Netherlands. And did it with an absolutely clutch performance. Because the Dutch played out of their minds in the first half and for a long time, that match had the feeling of a game where one team dominates, but can’t quite score, and then the underdog scores on a break to take the lead, and suddenly, it’s a completely different game.

But that’s not how it played out. Megan Rapinoe scored a penalty in the 61st minute and Rose Lavelle capped it off with a goal eight minutes later.

And the moment they got back to the locker room, the party started and it has not stopped. Sure, at first it had the usual postgame locker room tropes: champagne, beer, confetti, and singing “We Are the Champions.”

But it has gone up about fifty notches since then. I didn’t think it would get better than shortly after the match, when Ashlyn Harris started posting video on Instagram and said “You’re bleeping welcome for this content, bitch!”

But I was wrong. So wrong. Because it has absolutely gotten better. When you think of the great moments in celebration history, what do you think of?

Chase Utley, of course.

William Gay with his epic blast

Ed Reed singing Ed Money.

And of course, the godfather, Mark Madsen.

But none of them had the audacity and awareness to preface it by saying “You’re bleeping welcome for this content, bitch!”

And to that I say, thank you Ashlyn. Thank you for taking on the role of team videographer. Because it has been a crazy ride and this is some of the best content ever.

I would play the videos from her Instagram page, but I’d probably get fired. There is definitely some NSFW content there.

Suffice it to say, it’s an epic bender that has covered two continents, they’ve been on planes, yachts, and parade floats, they’ve celebrated at rooftop pools and in New York’s City Hall. And it is absolutely incredible.

And it makes complete sense. This team had so much pressure on it going into the tournament. Anything less than repeating as champions would be a failure. They were under so much scrutiny, for everything they did and said. And they still came through.

And they did it while suing their own federation for equal pay. Can you imagine how different that lawsuit would’ve felt if they didn’t win the World Cup? The legal reasoning behind it would’ve been exactly the same, but the public pressure behind it would’ve been a lot less.

Anything short of winning was going to be a failure on so many levels.

And nobody came through better than Megan Rapinoe. I know she’s not everyone’s cup of tea. She knows that too.

But even her biggest haters have to agree: she is clutch. Clutch as hell. When the spotlight was on her, all she did was win the Golden Boot as the high scorer of the tournament, the Golden Ball for player of the tournament, and the World Cup for her team. And that was despite missing a game with a hamstring injury.

So when you do the job, accomplish the mission, and the pressure is off, the party is on. And on. And on.

In fact, every time you think it’s over, it’s not. Every time you think this crew has completely celebrated out, they grab another bottle of Ace of Spades and fire it right back up again. Living their best lives doesn’t even come close to doing it justice. And honestly… they deserve every second of it.

They’ve got four stars on their shirts and about fifty gallons of spilled champagne as well. And I’m here for it.

But again, some folks aren’t digging this American team. In fact, some folks are pretty bent about them wanting equal pay, which I don’t get. Honestly, I can’t believe we even have to have this discussion. They are the four-time world champions. They are absolute legends. And they should be paid like it.

And as much as I respect the work that Gregg Berhalter has done since he’s taken over the men’s team, there’s no denying that the women’s team is way more accomplished than the men’s team.

And, according to according to audited financial statements from the U.S. Soccer Federation obtained by The Wall Street Journal, they generate more revenue than the men. And higher TV ratings.

Of course they should be paid equally. Everyone should want to see that. It should’ve happened a long time and when it does finally happen, there should be another epic parade and epic party. Run it back. And as always thank you bleeping much for all the bleeping amazing content.