You Do You, Kyrie

Ainge is the ghostee and Kyrie is the ghoster. Awesome.

Jim Rome
June 18, 2019 - 10:05 am
Kyrie Irving

USA Today

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Danny Ainge and the Celtics had all the pieces they needed to make a move for Anthony Davis, but they didn’t pull the trigger. And the thinking is that they didn’t because they think Kyrie Irving is gone. I mean, that makes sense given that he declined his player option for next season and that everything seems to point to him going to Brooklyn.

And then there was the report yesterday that the Celtics might meet with Kyrie before the draft this week.

And then came another report, and truthfully, it’s one of my favorite Kyrie Irving-related reports ever. Like if you were to ask me my ten favorite sports stories ever, Kyrie would probably get five of them. And check out this beauty. Reading to you the Boston Globe:

The strangest part of the Irving situation right now is that it appears he has essentially ghosted on the Celtics. The people within the organization I have spoken with have made it clear that they have had little, if any, communication with Irving in recent weeks.

Bam!  Kyrie, the friendly ghost, the friendliest ghost you know!! Kyrie Irving ghosting the Celtics is one of my favorite things ever. Throwing around the phrase “on-brand” is pretty fashionable right now, but is there anything more on-brand than Kyrie Irving ghosting his team?

Oh, actually, there is, because this is the same Kyrie Irving who declared back in October "I shared it with some of my teammates as well as the organization and everyone else in Boston: If you guys will have me back, I plan on re-signing here next year."

And then talked about how "I have every intention of signing with Boston next year. I do have a dream of putting my No. 11 in the rafters one day if I'm so blessed to do that. I've worked my tail off, obviously a lot of great players have come before me, but to throw my name in Boston Celtics tradition and history is something I'm glad I can do. And I'm planning on doing so."

" ... Honestly, thinking about starting over was just a bleepy thought. Honestly. It just was like, man, I do not want to move again. I do not want to uproot my family and just be dealing with everything new again. No disrespect to any other organizations, but here was a perfect fit."

This is the guy who forced his way out of Cleveland, one year after winning a title, because he didn’t want to play second fiddle to LeBron. Then he got to Boston, got injured, watched them go to the Conference Finals without him, came back, made them worse, and now he’s ghosting them.

That is absolutely awesome. One of the all-time great arcs ever. Even for that that flat earth truther.

Not only would it appear, he’s not staying like he said he would; not only is he just leaving, apparently, but he’s ghosting them. Just reportedly ignoring all communication. Not handling it like a pro, or even adult. Nearly every athlete I have ever known has said the same thing about coaches and management and ownership: just shoot me straight.  Just be up straight up with me. I’m a big boy or big girl; I can deal with bad news: just look me in the eye and give it to me. Treat me like a pro. Virtually every athlete I know feels that way. Except apparently, Kyrie, who if this report is to be believed is nowhere to be found. You can’t find what you can’t see, and you can see a GHOST!!

And for all you oldsters, Urban Dictionary defines ghosting as “When a person cuts off all communication with their friends or the person they're dating, with zero warning or notice before hand. You'll mostly see them avoiding friend's phone calls, social media, and avoiding them in public.”

The secondary definition includes this line: “Many attempt to justify ghosting as a way to cease dating the ghostee without hurting their feelings, but it in fact proves the subject is thinking more of themselves, as ghosting often creates more confusion for the ghostee than if the subject kindly stated how he/she feels.”

So in this case, Danny Ainge is the ghostee and Kyrie is the ghoster. So what do you do? Well, you’ve got to check the ghoster’s social media. Maybe that’s giving some hints. Let’s check out Kyrie’s Instagram. The latest post is an edited package of clips that includes a lot of different people talking about him, and then Kyrie talking about how he’s shied away from social media.

Uh-huh. Because nothing says you’ve shied away from social media like a heavily produced video package and elaborate post on social media about shying away from social media. And one that comes with a very long quote from Mother Theresa.

So that’s not really going to help Ainge. Then there are a couple of posts about his family and then there’s this one:

“Hermetic Friends, Inc. My light Brothers and Sisters! The age of No More Secrets is upon us. World Peace will be achieved in our life time and we better bleepin believe it! Let them have the fabricated bull****. That genuine love and energy spreads all over the world. Eye see all. I AM”

I mean, that is the absolute masterpiece. That is the Mona Lisa of social media posts from a guy who is shying away from social media. Just putting up a bunch of words and thinking it’s profound.

Again, this is a grown ASS man. A guy who wants to be the leader of a team. The face of a franchise and he’s forced his way off one team and he’s ghosting his way off another. And that is truly awesome. Absolutely without a doubt 100 percent on brand and awesome. You do you, Kyrie. Just don’t for a second think that anyone is fooled by it or impressed by it.